Copy my private ssh key to multiple machines so I only have to configure one key in github, gitlab, bitbucket etc.

Setting up a web server in python.

1 week after being handed a project, and another week before it's launch. I had to sit in a meeting presenting the project, where I found out my boss had done 0 requirements gathering from the stakeholders. Of course they all yelled at me about how shitty the project was, and my boss was nowhere to be seen...

At university. But at first I thought I was too stupid because everyone in my class sounded like they started hacking the NSA at age 3, and I hadn't even opened a command line. Even had a proffessor tell me if I didn't ace his OOP class, I should quit (I failed, did good the second time though). Moral of the story is: fuck him, and anyone who tells you that you can't do something.

Filemaker. More like widowmaker.

My company just fired 20 people, and the next day instuted a program so salaried employees have to clock in and out. Of course not to effect our pay, just to keep their paranoid asses breathing down our necks. Also, no clocking in remotely so all the work I do from home won't be taken into account. Fucking micromanaging, ball-licking, scum-fuck, MBA, morons couldn't run a company if their lives depended on it. When will these soul-less, suit-wearing, shit-scarffers learn that treating your employees with respect and valueing actual work over bullshit metrics, is a better business strategy than treating them like fucking sheep to the slaughter. Fml, I gotta find a new job...

Try to fix things yourself before you bug your seniors. But dont spend too much time if you're stuck.

The fucking hubris on some people... If you don't understand git, in a shop that uses git, how in the name of fucking odin's nutsack do you think you're qualified to be a senior dev? I'm not talking understanding the internals of git, I'm talking knowing WTF a branch even is! Oh, I know, its because you eat lunch with the bossman! Cronyisn is alive and well folks! Now I gotta fix all this shit, or its my fault...

Former coworker, inspiring that he still gave a shit when I had no shits left to give. Also, a comp sci teacher taught me there is no problem that can't be boiled down to small simple problems, that could be explained to a 5 year old. If someone says otherwise, they're either full of shit or they're trying to fill you with shit.

My favorite thing, when your boss makes up a feature in their head and is angry that you didn't magically read their mind and implement it. I'm like a computer, I do exactly what you tell me, nothing more, nothing less, dummy.

Hey, make a whole tracking interface, that's at least a month's worth of work, for something that R&D is actively working towards making obsolete in 3 weeks.

Mah code toad. He glares at me when I do shameless hacks.

What should I do if a coworker is always trying to pawn off their work on me? Whenever a bug is found, she'll always try to throw it in my court (via passive-aggressive-reply-all emails) even though its 90% of the time, some shit she wrote. I'd rather not go to my boss, because it feels like whining. But confronting her has been difficult because she works remote, is more senior than me, and there is a slight language barrier. Honestly, I think she pretends to know less English than she does, to ignore my emails...

I had my meeting hijacked by two managers yesterday. One just bitched about a problem I couldn't solve. The other came in, uninvited, and bitched at the first manager for pretty much the same problem lol. Isn't it their only job to be good at communicating? Then why do they suck at it more than 200 kindergarteners playing the fucking telephone game?!? And the second manager was like, "I don't understand your jargon, just fix this." Bitch, I don't think you understand english!

Damn you guys, Mr. Robot finally sucked me into an abyss.

Is it just me, or does nobody read their fucking email? Especially when I try explain how a bug isn't trivial to solve because its based on some shitty design decision, that the managers made, that is practically the core of the app. If YOU cant understand the logic with me explaining it to you in plain FUCKING ENGLISH, than how in the name of baby FUCKING jesus, do you expect me to communicate that to the most complicated machines that man has ever built?!? What in the actual fuck do you even do here?!? I could do your job blind-folded, with terminal access to the db, while a monkey was flinging shit at me!

Got in trouble yesterday for deploying to a QA environment and NOT sudo vimming a file to change the hardcoded email recipient... Maybe, the dev who wrote that file should use our configuration files instead of hardcoding it!

You da real MVPs! Thx for the stickers devRant!

"Cool website bro, but how can I just download it as an app on my iPhone"?
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When your coworker is a "yes...but". If your solution is either non-existent, or vague, and mine is actual code, PLZ STFU. Nobody wants your "constructive criticism".

Asks me for time estimate on a project. I gives time estimate. "That's not exactly what I was asking for. It's more of a {{ MBA_term }}. I'll explain it to you shortly." Never explains it.

Does anyone else ever get the feeling that it'd be easier to teach everyone in their company SQL than make an internal app?

Is it weird to not put a space between the beginning of my if statements? (i.e. if(true) vs if (true) ) Cuz my boss thinks it's weird enough to "have a talk with me"...