Lets assume you don't know anything about industrial protocols. You are also working for a very high profile and very technically inclined company. Your job is to figure out how to get data over a network interface using a specific standard port. The protocol in use is THE standard for information systems in the industry: opcua.

How much hand holding do you need?

I am actually shocked at the amount of technical ineptitude of the people we have interfaced with. How did they get in the door?

When I first started out in my industrial controls career I just read whatever manuals and websites I could find. Do people not do that anymore?

I want to scream: RTFM Mother Fucker!

It’s been two months, and my last two “high-priority, drop everything and work on this!” tickets are *still* in code review.

I finished another ticket, “semi-high-priority” this time… whatever that means. It’s been sitting in data security review for a week and a half. I just convinced someone to do a code review on it.

In our virtual standup today, we all have our updates, and the boss replied to all of us with this fancy animated “ty” reaction. I got a 👍🏻 instead. So minor, but feels very off.

My “company AI hackathon” idea got co-opted by someone else (on the security team), changed into a security-related project instead, and I got put on his hackathon team instead of the other way around.

Kinda feeling unwanted lately.

Job hunting and interviewing disgusts me.

I feel like I am in some kind of dating nightmare (and I hate dating). It's really weird trying to sell yourself to some company and they judge you based on how you think, how you talk, how your professional life has been up until now. I also judge them based on my professional values.

It makes me feel really awkward to talk to people trying to sound all calm and professional when I am kind of dying of nihilism inside. Tired of having to get to the stages of interviews where I need to do some idiotic tech assessments that are irrelevant to the job spec. Some were fun though.

Thankfully no AI interviewer fuckery yet, but if I do run into such a thing, I'm gonna pull out and expose the company that does this.

Getting close to final stages with some places which seem decent enough to sell my time to, and salaries are so much higher than what I currently get paid (fuckin peanuts).

I just want to become a mushroom at this point.

This is so true. A month or two goes by and it is like learning certain pieces of code over again.

the bosses and backends are having a boys camp in the italian countryside to fix some backend shit.

Ugh so unfair. Backends are the aristocracy of web development and we should guillotine them all to reach democracy

During a safety meeting on Monday we talked about different potential emergency hazards in our area. One person mentioned Yellowstone National Park caldera. It is supposed to be one of the largest super volcanoes on Earth. I joked that it will be blowing up "next week". Everyone got a good laugh.

Then today a random person I share a chat with on a forum online said something. They said the mountain lions have been fleeing the park for a while. They said the bears are now fleeing the park.

I told Ed this. He laughed and said: "You shouldn't have said that." I said: "No shit..."

aaaaaand it's back

Didn't even take a day and people were already posting melodramatic goodbye posts lul

Am I going nuts or have comments and votes been restored?

Sudden urge to design my own programming language. Specifically built for concurrency. I really like the async/promise style stuff but I always think it's a pain to put together. Why not make the "putting it together" bit the languages job.

me likes competition me thinks competition good for me. Gives me them blings and fussies and yep me happy

Medium is a machine, albeit a broken machine, that somehow bot farmers manage to get the most shitty click bait titles up... and the content of said shitty articles (if you can even call it 'content' i.e. two sentence recycled slop designed for those with single digit to negative IQ) is even worse...

Dev.to has become a laundry list of "(X fucking shitting things that Y developers didn't know with Z) - I swear browsing yesterday I saw literally the SAME LLM shitted template like ("Here's 9 things that you NEED to learn in 2025) - they even both used the number 9... fucking christ

Reddit... not even an possible way to even get a foot in there, I don't even understand that platform...

And, I can't believe I'm saying this, but Hacker News is quickly reaching the same level too - just filled with clowns who don't even know what LLMs are, or what even fucking copilot agent mode is - and keep in mind these are the guys who are supposed to be making 300K a year because they are the "leaders in tech"? fuck off

I'm quite close to just quitting it all entirely, even you guys (sadly)... I haven't been on in forever but I can imagine the type of bigbrains who have since come and gone in my absence here...

I wanted to stake my claim and make my living here... but currently, if the internet isn't 'bad' enough since say 2015/2016 - it's going to get AT LEAST 100x worse - every platform has their fucking dumb ass social quirks and the moment you don't conform you're an outcast - if you can even make sense of why certain articles get more traffic than others in the first place. fucking backwards ass idiot machine, I swear

I'm gonna go have fun in the real world for the foreseeable future, have fun trying to 'make it' in this cesspool. jfc

obligatory 🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡

Team 'leads' who consistently introduce scope creep are so fucking annoying. How can they get the basics of project management wrong? It leads to more, constant, work stress ("why didn't you finish this on time?" Well maybe because you keep reviewing PR's last minute and instead of sticking to requirements, you ad-hoc make me 'fix' things that weren't even there).

Did a thing but fucked up a small part of it, and now it’s an eye sore? Cal it wabi-sabi.

Broke a thing and glued it together, but because of your low skill it looks obviously broken and glued together? Call it kintsugi.

Remember: weebs will drool over anything Japanese, no matter how bad it is. When a shitty anti-consumer company is from the US of A or Europe (EA), it’s bad. But when it’s from Japan (Nintendo), it’s good.

"We're excited to announce that we've disabled the deprecated Storefront Toolkit by default for new....."

I am also so freaking "excited" that you have also disabled the close button on the popup when you login to Salesforce BM genius.

How the hell i am suppose to use SFBM now?!! developer tool to remove the popup markup?!
Learn more?? I don't need FAQ doc, I need the popup closed!!!

every new project is asking for a slack channel that we can pipe things into.

the effort is low, but the need for this instead of just looking at a dashboard that just takes a sql query is so fjdasjfdalfd.

No to crapple, yes to snapple.

Dark Humor

Lets try some seriously dark dark humor. Lets find what lurks in the hearts of men.

My Kid: I was adopted.
Me: We wouldn't have picked you.

Oedipus: <whilst banging his wife> You remind me of my mom.

What do you call Rock Hudson in a wheelchair?
Rollaids

What did Christa McAuliffe say to her husband before the launch?
You feed the dog, I will feed the fish.

Some I found from searching web:

What's worse than a baby in a dumpster?
A baby in 2 dumpsters.

If we had mosquito nets in Africa we could save millions of mosquitos from getting AIDS.

Down syndrome in military is called special forces.

Mom told me to eat my vegetables, now where do I put the wheelchairs.

Whoever thought white men can't jump obviously never watched the 9/11 footage.

So there is this discussion about killing children in code. Someone pops in with this:
"I do remember a post from a guy who actually got pulled into an HR talk, to ask why he'd littered the code with references to killing children and removing children from their parents. Imagine trying to explain to a person who's never programmed, that Kill(parent.child)is a perfectly standard phrasing and not a latent psychosis that should be reported to the police."

First I think who is the idiot that reported this? Then I think who is the HR idiot that didn't do a google search or talk to the software manager? So many people had to fail at basic thinking for this to get this far.

Then I think also. Two things can be true at the same time. The person writing this code could also harbor latent desires to kill children. But can hide their sickness in plain sight. CS could just be a place for psychopaths to talk about the true serial killer thoughts.

I was wondering what this would look like. Maybe the psycho programmer will allocate extra hidden children that will get created and destroyed without anyone knowing the better. Maybe they only need 10 children for the code, but they allocate 100. That is 90 children they can create and destroy that only they know about.

Is balancing a tree really about cycles to read the data? Or is this some sort of karma balancing with latent desires to add or remove children with different karma leanings? Linked lists? Obviously only a psychopath would make a singly linked list.

Then I read posts on devrant and think there is probably at least one psychopath here that looks up to Anakin. We know you are here! You can't hide forever.

We have a bug.

I fixed it, then I said it was a super tricky bug, a race condition in the library code, and that I had to put on an issue and wait for their answer.

Boom, day off.

God I'm a genius.

Tester mentions deployment failing, I go check. Strange terraform is exiting with a failure.

Mention that there is an error with infra code. PM comes in "HURDUR it's not broken". Literally, terraform saying error and exiting with status code 1 causing the whole deploy pipeline to fail is not broken, sure buddy.

a kubernetes engineer is the one who doubles his effort when he loses his aim.

i ain't gonna build a tetris game for a code test for a job that might force me to work in the office. fuck that shit. code tests are a retarded way of assessing candidates.

Pics are back!

I have almost 8 years of experience, am currently a tech lead in the company im at (a big known music and video streaming platform), i live and breathe tech...

and someone i interviewed for (in a 4 year old fintech startup) wants to put me in a mid level position because he "felt i lacked depth". apart from his feelings he failed to make me understand how I'm not senior enough for him.

so how do i become deep? what is this depth he speaks of?

Finished Napoleon Cat!

Get passive income guyz

They put extra boxes in job applications, so I wrote them jokes. Pity none accepted me. I guess I wouldn't want to work for such a non-diverse workplace anyways. 🥲

i wish i was a parrot so i could swear at people all i wanted and not get into trouble for it.

Getting your wisdom teeth out is no joke.

I feel like I ate a half a bowl of Captain Crunch.

These github assholes really shat the fan when selling out to M$. I'm trying to access an open source project. I can't. Apparently I'm IP banned. I never go there beside to download software once in a while.

Motherfuckers.