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I had to explain what version control was to the dinosaur last week. (Our cto, for more context check last post)
So we've been having issues getting our infrastructure dude to do deployment because he is sick of the treatment he gets here and has basically checked out.
Deployments then fell onto the dinosaur. After struggling for an eternity to figure out app settings (any junior dev could figure this out) he finally deployed, however it was from qa branch.
I gently reminded him that we were deploying from master and that all changes in qa should be merged to master when testing phase is over.
He informed me that 'he doesn't think that's a good idea because if we merge to master and there's problems then it's fucked forever and there is nothing we can do'
I stood there with my mouth hanging ajar until I finally managed to squeeze out 'that's literally what git is for....' 🤡3 -
It was when I ditched React. I replaced it with raw JavaScript, with frontend being built with Gulp and Twig (just because HTML has no includes). Here are the results:
1. Previously, a production frontend build took 1.5 minutes. Build time became so fast that after I push the code, the build was done before me going to Netlify to check build status. I go there, and it’s almost always already done.
2. In a gallery with a lot of cards, with every card opening a modal, the number of listeners was reduced from N to one. With React, I needed 1000 listeners for 1000 cards. With raw JavaScript, I needed just one click listener with checking event target to handle all of the cards.
3. Page load time and time-to-interactive was reduced from seconds to milliseconds.
4. Lighthouse rating became 100 for desktop and 93 for mobile.
But there is one more thing that is way better than all of the above: cognitive complexity.
Tasks that took days now take hours. Tasks that took hours now take minutes.
Tasks that took thousands of lines now take hundreds. Tasks that took hundreds of lines now take tens.
In real business apps, it is common to build features and then realize it’s not needed and should be discarded. Business is volatile, just because the real world is volatile too. With this kind of cost reduction per feature, it became way less painful to discard them. Throwing out something you spent time and emotional resource on doesn’t feel good. But with features taking minutes to build, it became easier.23 -
The year was 2021 and we have to implement X
Alice, the manager: let's do this and this
Me: actually that won't scale, I did the same in my previous company. Here's an analysis on why it doesn't scale
Alice: nope, we'll have to do it like that. If it doesn't scale we'll fix it. It's a learning opportunity.
The feature was rolled out, and we got tons of alerts after 1 week.
Alice: haha what a ride! At least the team learned something new
Me: I didn't learn anything new. All I got was stress and disrupted sleep because of those midnight incidents...
Then 2022 came, Alice was promoted thanks to the incredible leadership to deliver X, I joined a different project, a part of this project is to implement Y, similar to X.
Bob, the manager: let's do this and this
Me: actually that won't scale, I did the same in my previous project. Here's an analysis on why it doesn't scale, you can ask Alice if you want.
Bob: nope, we'll have to do it like that. If it doesn't scale we'll fix it. It's a learning opportunity.
The feature was rolled out, and we got tons of alerts after 1 week.
Bob: haha what a ride! At least the team learned something new
Me: I didn't learn anything new. All I got was stress and disrupted sleep because of those midnight incidents...
It's 2023 now, Bob got promoted thanks to the awesome leadership to roll out Y, I joined another project, which requires us to develop Z, similar to X and Y.
Chris, the manager: let's do this and this
Me: ah shit here we go again...4 -
Team Lead: "Today we're going to discuss how we can be more inclusive with getting people on board with XYZ organization. StackODev, what ideas do you have?"
Me: "Uh. Not really sure. I mean, it's not like we're being 'exclusive' in any way. People can join the XYZ organization without any restraint or discrimination. They just sign up on the website and they're done. There are no litmus tests of any aspect of their demographics or beliefs."
Team Lead: "Yeah, but how do we make sure we're getting more of Wanted Group A so that it's not as much of Less Wanted Group B?"
Me: "Well, that's a different question, isn't it? That would maybe meet the diversity and equity goal, but wouldn't that defeat the inclusion goal? Isn't it 'exclusive' to put more effort into attracting Wanted Group A people and less effort into attracting Less Wanted Group B people? And at what point do we draw the line between creating an enrollment system that is diverse, equitable, and inclusive and one that favors Group A over Group B explicitly?"
Team Lead: "Why don't you shut up now and we'll get ideas from some other team members."10 -
We've been trying to hire a greenhorn, fresh-faced intern from India for like a month now.
Plenty of applicants, most with very nice curriculums, a few even can think on their feet while grilled by my questions.
I've sent to talk to HR three almost college-graduating candidates, who convinced me they know the subject of data engineering enough to be working with me and that they are actually gonna do the tasks assigned.
The fucking tweep at HR, an old fart who I had to convince that HVAC maintenance is not the job of the IT department nor the data team, calls my approved candidates "too junior".
WTF, I ask. - "Not professional enough", says the human toad.
Yes, they are to be interns! - "But they do not show professionalism", answered the hag.
Yes they do! They were very professional on the interviews! - "That is for me to say!" barked the reptile.
A week pass by while I try to find more just as good candidates who are also "more professional" when the hag has the audacity to say "here, I found someone. He knows everything about computer things and is very professional".
I took like 20 seconds to find out that the kid she'd given my number to, and was now messaging me IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FUCKING NIGHT, was her niece's fiancee and wasn't even in uni! He was just a high school graduate!
Seriously, nepotism kids, delete your Instagrams, tiktoks and every single piece of social media.
I scaled the issue to my VP, who contacted the HR VP for India, who gave the worst possible excuse for her behaviour: "She knows nothing about computer things!" for what my own boss said "so why was she assigned to oversee the data team's new hires?!". The HR slug mumbled something and then doubled down with "well, the kids you sent her were all girls! she had never hired a girl to a technical position, she wouldn't know what to look for in an interview!"
What. The. Fuck.
My boss, my VP of a very strategic technical area, happens to be a woman who lives in a place where women's rights are for real. I had *never* heard she swear on a non-football-related context. She did. Loudly. On camera. As if the HR boss was a referee who just disallowed a goal for her team due to an very ambiguous forward pass.
Shit is still flowing, but it seems that the hiring process of the entire company is being restructured because of that.
I guess I've just sped up this process in about one hundred years?9 -
Starting to wish I never got involved in this industry.
I am working for the most ridiculous, god awful place I have ever had the misfortune of working and I am having a HELL of a time getting out of it because everything wants 5 years fucking exp in some fucking specific framework that is basically the same as every other fucking framework.
Our previous cto was a closeminded totalitarian bully and when she finally left she was replaced by a lecherous fucking dinosaur who has no idea how to code in our code base. He also has barely been showing up to work for the last few months.
For some reason our fucking ceo allows this all to continue and only interjects whenever he can make himself the biggest nuisance (ie design handoffs etc where he has little to no knowledge)
I was already woefully underpaid but was recently 'promoted' to team lead and when I brought up my ridiculous salary (yes I was essentially just funneled into this role) they gave me a neglible raise and ceo told the fucking dinosaur to tell me he 'doesn't like when people ask for raises'
The only reason I am in this position is because we have such ridiculously poor employee retention and I am one of the people after only 2.5 years there that has the ability to provide any kind of knowledge transfer. Most of our dev team consists of people fresh out of school and our code base is just an absolute mess of junior dev spaghetti debauchery.
I have expressed concerns over this and was told that I'm negative and go looking for problems and that 'everywhere is like this'
The ceo has a few people he keeps close because in his words 'they're the only ones who don't disagree with me'
He also refused to hire anyone with experience because they cost too much and he doesn't like people who have opinions.
To make matters worse all the fucking dinosaur does is wander around and talk to the junior devs about video games.
His previous favorite past time was staring at my tits, ranting about his wife and telling me 'he'd offer to give me a back rub but you can't do that now a days'
I caught his fucking wife creeping me on LinkedIn a few months ago for some fucking reason.
Oh and as icing on the cake I had a fucking interview today for an intermediate angular position and a few minutes after I received an email saying that ACCTUALLY they had been informed they were now looking for a senior react dev.
Like seriously what the fuck.62 -
Usually I do love my colleagues, but lately....
FOR FUCKS SAKE I AM NOT YOUR WALKING HUMAN GOOGLE SEARCH ENGINE SHITOVERFLOW CHATGEPETTO INSTANCE! READ YOUR FUCKING LOGS, DO A FUCKING INFORMATION LOOKUP, READ THE FUCKING MANUAL.
OH YOU HAVE A QUESTION YOU SAY? PLEASE FOR FUCK SAKE ELABORATE WITH SOMETHING MORE THEN 'Please help me with the pipeline"' WHILE YOUR ACTUAL PROBLEM IS A LACK OF KNOWLEDGE AND UNDERSTANDING OF GIT, LINUX OPERATING SYSTEMS AND AUTOMATION.
OH YOUR BRANCH IS, WHAT, 3 MONTHS BEHIND MASTER? NEVER HEARD OF A FUCKING REBASE? WHATS THAT YOU SAY??? YOU DONT KNOW WHEN TO SKIP A COMMIT??? ITS YOUR FUCKING CODEBASE! READ THE FUCKING DOCUMENTATION !!!
WHATS THAT? YOU WORK IN VSCODE AND YOU DO T K OW HOW? AGAIN READ THE FUCKING DOCUMENTATION !
Self.end(rant)10 -
It’s time.
FUCK YOU FRONTEND DEVELOPERS!!!
What the FUCK is wrong with you!?
Could you please STOP creating ”innovate” user interfaces….
Just FUCKING STOP!!!!!
Web after web after web and I can see 100 different fucking date pickers. I mean. WHAT-THE-FUCK!!!
And the menus. GIVE US A FUCKING CLEAR UNDERSTANDING WHERE THE FUCK I AM.
And clicking back SHOULD FUCKING WORK YOU RETARDS!!!
YOU IMBECILS!
And remember the scrolling position. WHAT THE FUCK!? I did that shit
15 YEARS AGO
YOU FUCKERS!!!
It is just… a sad, sad place. I wish the old web was back. Super quick. Simple. Clear.
I get it. It is better now but IT IS NO EXCUSE TO JUST SKIP THE FUNDAMENTALS!!! You bastards!!!
AND WHY THE FUCK THE LARGE IMAGES!? You should have solved this by now!!! Fucking MB!? Are you serious? Did your mother not love you enough?
Oh man that felt good…35 -
I block ads because they're psychological warfare that corporations wage against me. I don't care how unobtrusive the ads are. I don't care if the ads don't track me. I grew up changing the channel on TV when ads came on, and ripping adverts out of magazines before sitting down to read them. I vote for billboard bans whenever I can. I have zero tolerance for ads of any sort.
Advertisers have no morals, they're completely depraved. They'll eagerly exploit a teenager's self-conscious body issues to sell useless beauty products. They sell sugar water to fat people and at every turn promote the rampant consumerist culture that is destroying our planet. They're lower than pond scum and I never want to see a single ad from them ever.
— mcpackieh6 -
Today I was 25 years old, asking for a raise or a opportunity to reach the next level of my career.
My department manager simply said:
"I'm sorry, but in terms of salary you have already reached the end of your career."
Bye then :)34 -
On the 18th October 2021 I had to hastily write some magic numbers into our code.
I added a comment saying "TODO: add a damn enum to make this selection clear"
Today, I refactored this module... and I used a damn enum.
Good things happen – have a nice weekend yall10 -
I love when job postings are like, you will use THIS tool, and THIS is how it will be accomplished!!!! NO EXCEPTIONS!!!
bitch, i'm the senior engineer, I should be the one picking and choosing tools to match your needs, not you and HR pals!
no wonder your job offer still isnt' filled!
i'd love to ask these organizations why they chose such boomer technologies in the first place and why there is no effort to change to much more developer / user friendly tools.... just a red flag from the start11 -
You know what´s really retarded?
How HP decided to put the delete key next to the power button on their Elitebooks (and make the power button part of the top keyboard row)23 -
Microsoft after changing the toolbar buttons layout in Outlook from horizontally aligned on the bottom to vertically aligned on the left edge:
"Yeah there is absolutely no way to fit the To Do and the Notes buttons together with the other three on the left edge. We need a popup menu there!"10 -
Favourite thing you worked on recently?
——
I’m working on server monitoring system. I found that I need to pay for most server monitor services, and ones that are free/open source didn’t sound like they fit my use case (b/c the server i need to monitor is shared,) so I basically said “f*<k it I’ll do it myself.” I find it fun to work on something that I feel the need to make.1 -
Y'know what's the worst part about all the internet censorship and cyber surveillance? The fact that no one notices it11
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Alright, I'm grown up enough to admit it publicly: I DON'T LIKE GOING OUT TO PUBS OR OTHER DRINKING PLACES. Even if it's to take a company guest out for the night. Or a teambuilding. I don't care. If you're gonna meet up just to sip booze and talk about stuff, I won't be there.
It's boring
it's pointless
it means a shitty next day
it means a shitty rest of the evening [booze messing up sharpness of mind, no driving, etc]
it doesn't bring any value
it's not fun and it sure is not my cup of tea
taking the guest to play golf - sure. Take him to a range - blasts of fun! Horse riding - absolutely. Go-carts - hell yeah! Basicaly doing ANYTHING but sitting, getting dizzy, slowly losing control of my body and thoughts and sharing that experience with someone is a better way to take a guest/client out or have a teambuilding.
DO something. Not just sit and drink and slowly get stupider in front of someone.11 -
Came across a job posting for a lead developer yesterday. One of the requirements:
"Minimum experience:
dotNET 6 (3-4 yrs)"
Yeah and that technology came out less than 2 years ago
Is this position for a time traveler or siamese twins?4 -
News: Microsoft is buying GitHub.
Me: Lets Gather money with patreon / crowdfunding to buy MicroSoft.
Let's end that shit Forever.
What's your opinion.18 -
I'm a self-taught frontend developer with 1,5 - 2 years of experience in JavaScript / Vue.js development. Pretty cliche in 2023 and I can actually feel this now when it comes to the job market. It's brutal at the moment.I moved to Germany for a specific job but got laid off a few weeks ago due to a lack of projects and actual things to do. And here I am right now: tons of job applications, 4-5 interviews a week, zero success.
I'm thinking about getting some warehouse job or anything for the time being, and start freelancing in my spare time. Instead of this oversaturated JavaScript landscape, I would get into PHP (not as "hip" so less competition, backend, no new tools every 6 months), SQL, or hyper-specialize in CSS - something I like quite a bit but have seemingly zero value to employers.
I actually made a simple website for a small business when I was getting started with frontend, and he was super happy with the end result. I also did some language tutoring, that was quite rewarding as well. So freelancing is definitely fun, I enjoyed it much more than fearing layoffs or trying to force a fake-ambitious attitude on my 30th interview that most probably won't lead me anywhere. :D
Is the frontend job market really this oversaturated? (I know, I know... It's not difficult for competent, skilled, and experienced devs with CS degrees) Is being a CSS specialist, PHP-developer, or SQL-magician on fiverr/upwork/etc. a viable freelancing path? I've heard good and bad about these platforms, the competition there, etc. If not, where should I start?
What do you think? Any input is much appreciated. :)4 -
now we r talkin'. don't you dare change the status. I even plan to be quiet as much as I can endure to enjoy the 1K++
P.S. 10x @retoor4 -
oh microsoft...
you used to put the artifacts in
bin/Release/net6.0/publish
now you just put them in
bin/Release/net6.0
fucking garbage thanks for the heads up
it's golang from here on out
go run main.go && echo 'byebye fucksticks'4 -
I closed my work laptop yesterday around noon and dumped water on it. I was just so fed up.
Some spilled off onto my desk, though, so i gently moved (read: threw) the offending piece of plastic frustration onto the floor and carefully dried my desk.
On my way to the trash can, i stepped on the laptop. I stepped on it again on the way back, and later, on my way out the door.
I came in to get something half an hour later, and stepped on it again. It remained a stepping stone for the rest of the day, and accrued considerable foot traffic.
I spent the day drinking peach whiskey and playing with my children instead of working on reports. It was a good day.
Don't worry: my laptop still worked this morning, though I declined to.25 -
Hey Root, we have a high priority ticket for you! It's adding some columns to a report. Should be simple. Details are in the ticket.
First: reports are some of the most boring, drool-inducing drudgery i have ever worked on.
Second: Specs for these reports are a nightmare since everything is ... very indirectly tested, and the specs are everywhere but where you'd expect them to be, so it's a lot of spelunking and trial/error. It's also slow as beans.
Anyway. The ticket's details are in ... not the worst engrish i've ever seen, but it's bad enough that i have no idea what they're asking despite (thus far) five attempts at deciphering it. There's also a numbered list of "fields" to add, so you'd think it would be straightforward. It is not. Half the list is crossed out, and half of the remaining items are feature requests (in yet more engrish), not columns to add. Also, one of the actual fields is impossible as the data it's asking for is not recorded anywhere.
yeah...
I cringe every time I see this person's name as the reporter because it's always the same. and honestly, there are more of these engrish people every month, and believe me: it isn't just a language barrier...3 -
Working with atlassian products....
Possibility 1
You can either use exactly this one way and only with these specific instructions ...
Which will certainly not work for the project you have.
Possibility 2
There is an feature request which gets ignored for years, someone made a plugin...
But plugin was removed as inactive. :-)
Possibility 3
Atlassian provided in their endless graciousness a plugin.
After hours of deciphering Kotlin / Java code as the documentation is either useless or lacking details...
You did it. You got the REST shit working.
Well.
You just needed a script which wraps the underlying command, parses the commands well defined format like XML with specification.... To a completely gobbled up JSON, that looks like undecipherable shit.
I really hate Atlassian.
https://bitbucket.org/atlassian/...
I just wanted to add code coverage via the REST API by the way.
A really unnecessary and seldomly used future as it seems.
And yeah... The JSON contains a coverage element which contains a semicolon separated key value store, value being a comma separated list of line numbers....4