“What do you mean undeclared function?, it’s right there”

5 mins checking everything....

“oh I haven’t spelt it right.....”

What do you call a bee which comes from america?
.
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USB
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Yup im out🤣🤣

QA: It's not working.
Me: Are you getting 503 errors?
QA: No, just the one.

Do devs really fight or do we just mildly assert differing opinions then ignore each other for extended periods of time?

Frontend Dev: That's not possible in Frontend, we should do it in Backend.
Backend Dev: That's not possible in Backend, we should do it in Frontend.

-- CIVIL WAR --

Professor: "Who here regularly backs up all their data?"
*Some people raise their hands*
Professor: "Who has at some point lost their data?"
*The exact same people raise their hands*

customer who didn't paid for 3 months: why is our server down?

me: server?. what server?.

A typical demo...
Me: We added validation, server communication, caching....
Customer: Meh...
Me: We fixed bugs, sped up queries, implemented X features.
Customer: Meh...
Me: We surpassed the speed of light, transcended to another plane of reality, cured cancer, brought peace to galaxy.
Customer: Meh...

UI Designer: I prepared these sketches for the UI
Customer: Wow, so innovative, look at that beautiful transitions, even mobile design, just wow

Me: * dies *

Yesterday I stayed at home sick. Had a bad case of the EXPLOSIVE DIARRHEA FROM HELL. Was feeling ok but could not walk away from me throne.

Went in today cuz the lead was not gonna be there and shit always breaks on Freyja's day as we all know.

1 and a half hours before we clock out and go home someone calls saying that students are trying to drop from classes at the last minute and our app ain't doing it.

I "fixed" the app last week and ran a small login test. It work so I thought it was fine. Stupid me for making unprofessional and retarded assumptions.

Manager freaks out. The entire school freaks out. Coworker lols cuz he ain't got to work on it. I start mind debugging the entire bitcheridoo.

45 minutes later...and I was able to successfully go through almost 15k lines of code of php/html/js code and fucking FIXED it with tests and all for real.

Went at it hard. Babe ass manager was like 0.0 and then (͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Called head office and told them everything was undr control.

Dropped the phone like a mic. Mic drop.

Then I looked at manager and coworker and said "ya I fucked up, but I am still the king"

Both nodded in agreement.

Everyone got wet with my sheer awesome troubleshooting php master skills.

Got home thinking about how boss I am.

Fucking Texas af b. Can't touch this heat. The rangers still suck and so do the cowboys. The astros and the texans don't exist because there is only room for one. Go spurs.

Still have diarrhea.

Fuck yeah.

I have this headache that...

lol 😂😂😂

Filler text for meme

"We are looking for a GDPR expert to be hired in our company"

"I am an experienced data protection manager"

"Oh, fine! May you give us your phone number?"

"No"

"Your email address?"

"No"

"You're hired"

Contributor badge 👍

aaaaaand I did it again:

if( !txt.getText().length() != 0 ){

}

I'm done for today

Shit just got real

Well well well. ^_^

Web browsers supported by my new project :
Firefox ✔️
Chrome ✔️
Internet Explorer ❌

My boss came into my room today, sat down and said:

Take your family to the [BIG AMUSEMENT PARK], and please keep the reciepts and give them to me. Spend a couple of hundreds bucks and we will pay.
Thanks for being someone whom I can trust

That made me happy

Why I'm like this

"Let me just check devrant while the IDE is launching..."

How that can happen?

Italian chef: We have the best spaghetti in the world
PHP developer: I doubt that

* Selects text to copy *
* Ctrl + C to copy *
* Selects text to be replaced with copied text *
* Ctrl + C again instead of Ctrl + V *

Instant rage.

Ranters this week

I got a new job almost triple my old salary, I will move to a new city. I'm happy as fuck!

. Funny.cpp

Shakespeare quote :/

Goes to take a shit, opens toilet lid

"We are updating our privacy policies....."

Hope this isn't a repost

No presents for the EU this year