Details
-
AboutSometimes I actually dress like my avatar https://imgur.com/a/H5m5HSe
-
Skillsjavascript, php, mysql, sass/less/css/all that jazz
-
LocationNetherlandsch
Joined devRant on 5/17/2016
Join devRant
Do all the things like
++ or -- rants, post your own rants, comment on others' rants and build your customized dev avatar
Sign Up
Pipeless API
From the creators of devRant, Pipeless lets you power real-time personalized recommendations and activity feeds using a simple API
Learn More
-
Me: *Watching a movie*
Main Character: "Oh no, we have to hack the CIA to figure out how this machine works! Hacker girl, do the stuff"
Hacker Girl: "Consider it done!"
Hacker Girl: *Opens Linux bash*
Hacker Girl: *types 'mkdir Hack_CIA'
Hacker Girl: "They have two-factor authentication in place, this is going to be a hard one."
Hacker Girl: *Types 'cd Hack_CIA'*
Hacker Girl: "I'm in!"
Me: "..."
Friend: "Wow, so well done, so realistic!"
Me: *Dies*82 -
In my short career, I've seen projects become legacy before their first release. Hell, I've seen proof-of-concept apps turn into technical debt because to management as long as it works we won't rewrite it.
-
The single most productive thing I've done today was teaching my colleague how to send GIFs over Slack...5
-
Last night I was feeling bored so I got an idea and made this app. well in morning even I published this on play store.
It’s a completely useless application where you not supposed to touch anything.
but still you want to give it a try and want to give more useless ideas then here is the link
https://play.google.com/store/apps/...
just remember don't touch anything28 -
For two weeks I am paid 50$ an hour 6 hours a day / 5 days per week as someone called "Web deployment supervisor". The work is based on checking if the website throws an error and fixing it (devops) and staying in touc with the customer and helping him. The wevsite i wrote is just a small PHP site, well tested, almost no user input, if you dont drop whole DB it cannot basically crash. So for past week I am just copypasting documentation for the client what/how to do things. Today I already sent him same info 4 times. For me as a student and a freelance web dev it's a gold mine. I am having vacations for 14 days (thanks to damaged school water supply), getting paid 50$/hour for playing PUBG and using Ctrl+F in my Firefox, but god hell, it's so fucking psychically hard. Sometimes I have an urge to scream on that retard "I'VE SENT YOU THAT SAME SHIT 4 MINUTES AGO RETARD USE YOUR FUCKING SCROLL WHEEL IN OUR CHAT FOR FUCK SAKE".5
-
!dev. Sorry.
So, I have a quiz in Food Biochemistry(a subject I hate to death), and I think I am ready to go to the exam room, when suddenly...
BAM! I remember I forgot to bring my ID, which HAS to be on the computer desk when writing any exams in that room.
I hurry back to the car, drive like a madwoman at times, get the ID and come back.
Run as quickly as possible with aching muscles and go into the exam room.
ONLY TO BE TOLD I CANNOT WRITE THE EXAM BECAUSE I AM TOO LATE. I say I don't care, I have to write it. Then notice my place is taken by someone else. I get out and my anger gets to the point I want to throw the person out the window.
Go to the cafeteria to freaking calm down. Instead, I get people telling me I am being unreasonable for being angry.
I WAS JUST SECONDS OVER THE ALLOWED TIME!!!
Motherfuckers.
Now I have to see the dean with basically no likelihood of being allowed to write the damn thing again.14 -
A co-worker at the city-government just chose the wrong mailing list and send an e-mail to EVERY SINGLE emlpoyee (about 20'000 people, including our police-department, hospitals, councils etc.).
Within A MINUTE hundrets of people responded to the mail by using the "reply all" button, pointing out that this mail obviously wasn't meant for them.
After another minute the same douchebags sent another mail (of course using the "reply all" button AGAIN), asking to be removed from the mailing list and stop spamming them.
Even two hours after blocking the mailing list immediately, our mail servers still are processing all those damn mails.
RIP exchange servers
RIP inbox
RIP faith in humanity
Edit: typos13 -
Well that was a fun call I just had.
Owner of the company I freelance for: Hey I forgot to tell you something.
Me: What?
Owner: I bought you a plane ticket to fly to Puerto Rico. You're heading out in a month.
Me: What?! Why????
Owner: To set up cryptocurency mining rigs.
Me: Just because I know a bit about mining doesn't make me an expert.
Owner: We have $80k in our pocket in investments from outside parties, with another $20-30k on the way. You get 20% of the coins mined for as long as you manage it.
Me: So we're gonna set up several rigs, utilizing a b250 motherboard, g4400 CPU, 8GB of RAM and 10 GPUs each. We'll have AMD rigs for monero and Nvidia rigs for Ethereum and others. We'll use awesome miner for profitability switching on the fly. Each machine is probably going to be $5k each, possibly $4k with bulk discounts. We'll need at least 1500W per rig for power, 2000W to be safe, so we need to make sure we have ample power delivery to the mining warehouse.
Owner: I thought you weren't an expert?
Me: I'm not, but when there's money involved my motivation to Google goes into overdrive.28 -
Wait spotify is blocked in my office but other guys spotify are not blocked? Oh well I'll just use the unblocked deezer. Thanks to my coworker.15
-
Q: WHO THE FUCK USES EXCEL FOR PROJECT MANAGEMENT?
A: My Product Manager
Excel because she cant wrap her head around using Trello. WHAT THE FUCK!
Some people exist just to make things more difficult for everyone else. Fucking pain in the ass.
This person is one of the most incompetent one I have ever met.
I dont have enough words to express my rage right now.13 -
C : Hi, I will send you the minor fixes with new images soon. Can you update for me?
Me : Yes sure.
C : We would also like to launch the website tomorrow.
Me : Oh cool. Then I'll connect it to the live domain after the updates.
C : My boss also likes to press a button and launch the website....
Me : ... umm ...18 -
!rant
Friendly reminder, please check the fire alarms in your house.
Buy a fire extinguisher if you don't have one.14 -
At my workplace nobody wants to work to prestashop project, and whenever someone complete a task he instantly earns a *prestashop level* with his personal bedge. I'm the new one and after my first admin-backend-module I earned the level 1 with the first bedge: the sticker (photo as prove). P.S. I already hate prestashop, just after a week. P.P.S. the prestashop's master (prestaLV 7 or 8) had already earned the last badge:"the precious metal keychain".. is a little truck with the logo on it.. is as ugly as it sounds1
-
I don't know why @dfox , @trogus didn't want a username with underscore and I'm sure they must be having some valid reason for it. But how in fuck did this user have the guts to rate the app 1 star simply because it doesn't have a login with fb feature? I mean you can request for a feature but it's dumb of you to rate 1 star because it doesn't have a feature you want. This is true for any app not only devRant.
Source : One of the user reviews of devRant on the play store.54 -
Looking for a job as a deveoper be like:
Job title: car driver
Job requirements: professional skills in driving normal- and heavy-freight cars, buses and trucks, trolley buses, trams, subways, tractors, shovel diggers, contemporary light and heavy tanks currently in use by NATO countries.
Skills in rally and extreme driving are obligatory!
Formula-1 driving experience is a plus.
Knowledge and experience in repairing of piston and rotor/Wankel engines, automatic and manual transmissions, ignition systems, board computer, ABS, ABD, GPS and car-audio systems by world-known manufacturers - obligatory!
Experience with car-painting and tinsmith tasks is a plus.
The applicants must have certificates by BMW, General Motors and Bosch, but not older than two years.
Compensation: $15-$20/hour, depends on the interview result.
Education requirements: Bachelor's Degree of Engineering.41 -
Project manager: I haven't seen an automated email go out in a while.
Me: ok let me check. Can you provide me a previous email for reference?
Project manager: no
*Itterate 3 times*
Me: ok, does this template resemble the email you're missing?
PM: no
*End itteration*
PM after 3rd attempt to identify the email they're missing: comes into my office and tells me he's not even going to answer my emails anymore cause I can't find his missing email.
Me: finally nails down the email he's *missing* and there's nothing wrong with it.
PM: doesn't believe me.
I fucking hate bad PM's. Asshole can't be bothered to provide usefull information to save his life then questions everything I tell him and thinks I'm the idiot when it takes me 3x as long to fix/find something.6 -
For everyone happy to see Facebook getting negative PR, just remember, unless people decide that they are willing to pay a monthly subscription for social media, nothing is going to change long term.6
-
So.... a while ago my non tech friends asked me to help with their game... As all of the devs out there who wish to make a game or work in HW company I decided to say YES....
Basicly the game was a 2D infinite runner and when I looked at it it seemed like it was allmost ready, but it was not :D
The codebase was horrible.... Non of those two knew how to write scripts properly.... Half of the time I spent trying to teach both of them how to code properly and make the code readable for other coders..... After that most of the time went in troubleshooting 3rd-party plugins regarding google play services and fixing anoying performance issues.....
And last friday we launched it for Android https://goo.gl/MZpjf9
I'm really proud of my non tech friends because they withstood my complaining about the sourcecode and learned a lot of new thing these past months!!! It was a pleasure making this with them..... I know that the game is simple and it could have been done in much shorter time, but part of the expirience is fun and making things happen with your friends!!!1 -
This kind of bullshit advertising is the reason everybody thinks we can do that every new whimp of the client within a few minutes.
Fuck off! Making real custom websites/apps takes time, planning, design, coding and testing. Its not just pressing a few buttons.
Translation: Make a website? 30 minutes.14 -
Why the f*ck is it so hard to setup an online live radio on NodeJS but making a freaking Google hangouts clone is not.3
-
Found this gem on GitHub:
// At this point, I'd like to take a moment to speak to you about the Adobe PSD format.
// PSD is not a good format. PSD is not even a bad format. Calling it such would be an
// insult to other bad formats, such as PCX or JPEG. No, PSD is an abysmal format. Having
// worked on this code for several weeks now, my hate for PSD has grown to a raging fire
// that burns with the fierce passion of a million suns.
// If there are two different ways of doing something, PSD will do both, in different
// places. It will then make up three more ways no sane human would think of, and do those
// too. PSD makes inconsistency an art form. Why, for instance, did it suddenly decide
// that *these* particular chunks should be aligned to four bytes, and that this alignement
// should *not* be included in the size? Other chunks in other places are either unaligned,
// or aligned with the alignment included in the size. Here, though, it is not included.
// Either one of these three behaviours would be fine. A sane format would pick one. PSD,
// of course, uses all three, and more.
// Trying to get data out of a PSD file is like trying to find something in the attic of
// your eccentric old uncle who died in a freak freshwater shark attack on his 58th
// birthday. That last detail may not be important for the purposes of the simile, but
// at this point I am spending a lot of time imagining amusing fates for the people
// responsible for this Rube Goldberg of a file format.
// Earlier, I tried to get a hold of the latest specs for the PSD file format. To do this,
// I had to apply to them for permission to apply to them to have them consider sending
// me this sacred tome. This would have involved faxing them a copy of some document or
// other, probably signed in blood. I can only imagine that they make this process so
// difficult because they are intensely ashamed of having created this abomination. I
// was naturally not gullible enough to go through with this procedure, but if I had done
// so, I would have printed out every single page of the spec, and set them all on fire.
// Were it within my power, I would gather every single copy of those specs, and launch
// them on a spaceship directly into the sun.
//
// PSD is not my favourite file format.
Ref : https://github.com/zepouet/...16 -
Back in 2013, My CEO hired a new Manager for the R&D department, who supposedly had over 15 years of extensive experience with Windows and Windows server.
On his first day he suddenly turns toward my colleague, who is sitting right next to me and asks "Do you have a setup for Sticky Notes?", we were using "Windows 7".
The entire room turns toward him as he said that and started laughing quietly.