Details
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AboutLearning php, javascript right now
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Skillshtml, css, Java and learning more with every day
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LocationVienna, Austria
Joined devRant on 8/18/2017
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##Real fuckening STORY##
Angry client: this feature is not working like we discussed !
Me: it is.. *giving some explanation*
Client : no, this is not the right way
Me: But this is what we documented while gathering requirements, and YOU signed in the documentation..
Client : that long document? you don't expect me to read all of that talk just for this simple feature..
Me inside: *killing him 5 times in 5 different ways13 -
Uploaded app to AppStore for review by the farmers...
Got a message three weeks later that I need to upload more screenshots for iPad Pro 3rd Generation
Uploaded the new screenshot, and resubmitted the app.
Got a message immediately stating my binary is invalid: ITMS-90783: Missing bundle display name
You motherfuckers have been holding to my binary for three weeks. How the fuck did you accept it in the first place if the Display Name was missing, you filthy swines? -
After countless hours trying to spell my name for customer service over the phone, I made a little webpage that helps me spell words phonetically! 💬
https://dialogue.now.sh35 -
Petition for the pixelated avatars joke to be a permanent feature.
Vote for yes
Down vote for no
:)12 -
Assembly: He’s the nerd. He speaks very quickly and uses short sentences. Very few people talk to him. He’s considered to be an autist asperger by a majority of the class because he finishes the exams so quickly it’s insane and he faces a lot of difficulties in speaking with others. He’s at school but already dressed like an engineer.
Ada: She’s a foureyes nerd. When she gets the answer she’s doesn’t make any mistake. Ada often corrects the teacher when she writes a line a little ambiguous. She’s building a rocketship in her backyard and she’s always speaking about this weird hobby.
Python: He’s Mr Popular. He likes skate, brags about all the parties he’s invited to. He’s good in all the subjects taught in class but he’ll do them a bit slower than the others. Everyone loves him because he explainsthings so well, sometimes the teacher herself asks Python to explain some part of the course. He’s dressed with a hoodie, a baggy and glasses on the top of the head ;)
Java: She is one of the toppers of the class and very popular. She’s very good in all the topics. The teacher loves her but she’s a very talkative person.
Scala/Kotlin: They are twin sisters and the best friends of Java. Unfortunately, they are not as popular and it’s often Java who takes the lead in the group. It’s very difficult to distinguish one from another. Both are far less talkative than Java but Scala speaks a bit differently than Kotlin and Java.
C: He’s the topper of the class. He’s so fast in completing the exams that the teacher really thinks he’s copying Assembly’s work. He has a little brother C++ and they share a lot in common together. He’s the chess major and often plays chess with Assembly and his big brother.
Go: He’s the new kid on the bloc. He doesn’t like C++ and his friends and he wants to prove he can do better than them. Of course, he prefers playing Go over Chess.
APL: He’s a lonely guy. No one understands him when he speaks. Even the teacher is surprised when APL shows a correct answer after several lines of incomprehensible pictograms. People think that he was born in a foreign country… or a foreign planet ?
HTML/CSS: These twin brothers are very different. One is dressed in black and white and the other is dressed with everything except black and white. HTML is very talkative and annoying and the CSS is very artistic. CSS is the best student in Art lessons and HTML performs well in written expression.
LaTeX: She’s friend of HTML. The teacher likes her because she has a gift of writing. LaTeX likes the mathematical courses because she can draw fancy greek letters. The teacher knows this well and she is often asked to write a formula on the black board.
VBA: He’s in the back, looking through the windows. Not really interested in the courses taught in class. In the exams, he answers always with a table.
C#: He’s in the back playing yet another game on his smartphone. He likes being next to the windows also.
JavaScript: People often mix up Java and JavaScript because they have a similar name. But they are definitly not the same. Javascript spends a lot of time with HTMLand CSS. He’s as artistic as CSS but he prefers things that move. He likes actions and movies. CSS dreams to be a painter wheras JavaScript wants to be a film-maker.
Haskell: He’s a goth. Dressed up in dark. Doesn’t talk to anyone. He doesn’t understand why others write pages when he can write a couple of lines to answer the same question.
Julia: She’s the newest student here. She doesn’t have any friends yet but her secret aim is to be as popular as Python and as fast as C.
Credit: Thomas jalabert4 -
Let's say you had just received a freelance project, tell me more how you give the client a valid price3
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So apparently somone put Snapchat's iOS source code on github. I love the capitals in this DMCA notice like SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! take it down already.
https://github.com/github/dmca/...16 -
48 boolean variables.
For real?
It's clear why the class name is "GameHardActivity", this certainly is hard to maintain, understand, edit, and believe.
I can understand people learning, but with 2 years of experience in programming??? And there's a matrix right in the middle!!!! USE ARRAYS, PLEASE!!!!9 -
What's the size of the devRant family currently at? And what's your hopeful projects for 2019? @dfox40
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My job is so f**king unbelievable.
I'll try to sum it up by first telling you about the folks I work with:
First, there is this supermodel wanna-be chick. Yeah, okay, she is pretty hot, but damn is she completely useless.
The girl is constantly fixing her hair or putting on make-up.
She is extremely self-centred and has never once considered the needs or wants of anyone but herself.
She is as dumb as a box of rocks, and I still find it surprising that she has enough brain power to continue to breathe.
The next chick is completely the opposite. She might even be one of the smartest people on the planet.
Her career opportunities are endless, and yet she is here with us. She is a zero on a scale of 1 to 10.
I'm not sure she even showers, much less shaves her "womanly" parts.
I think she might be a lesbian, because every time we drive by the hardware store she moans like a cat in heat.
But the jewel of the crowd has got to be the fucking stoner. And this guy is more than just your average pothead.
In fact, he is baked before he comes to work, during work, and I'm sure after work.
He probably hasn't been sober any time in the last ten years, and he's only 22.
He dresses like a beatnik throwback from the 1960's, and to make things worse, he brings his big f**king dog to work.
Every f**king day I have to look at this huge Great Dane walk around half-stoned from the second-hand smoke.
Hell, sometimes I even think it's trying to talk with its constant bellowing.
Also, both of them are constantly hungry, requiring multiple stops to McDonald's and Burger King, every single f**king day.
Anyway, I drive these dicks around in my van and we solve mysteries and s**t.49 -
Good fucking lord, Australia is looking at bring Decryption laws in, just when you think the world couldn’t get any closer to destroying itself.
https://itnews.com.au/news/...4 -
Client: Why is this not working?
Me: Because the feature expect a...
Client: I sure hope you won’t expect your client to want to know all these teach behind this feature, as a client, I just expect it to work.
Me: Ok...
Client: So why isn’t it working now? WHY?
Me: 🤦🏽♂️
Client: I need a response!
Me: It is not working because...
Client: Stop telling me logics!! I just want it to work. Why isn’t it working...
Me: It is not working because I fucked up. It will work after I fix it.
Client: Why isn’t it working though... I don’t understand why...
Me: Just let me fix it and it will work...
Client: Why can’t you tell me why... it’s not good communication... (hangs up)12 -
Last week I wired up my home network (including custom modem and routers) myself, because the stuff my ISP wanted me to use was garbage.
Luckily Germany has "router-freedom" so ISPs are not allowed to force us to use their device to dial into the network.
I did everything myself, because the 'technicians' they kept sending me were just idiots who didn't know anything, considering the highly paid job they are doing. Usually they told me, to get the device from my ISP, because my "Router" (actually a business grade, standalone Modem by Cisco, to feed my Router) didn't even have WiFi ( lol ). Also all Technicians didn't arrive at the agreed date but at some other time. I wasn't able to wait any longer.
So I did it myself.
Consider me something more like a student of theoretical computer science. Not actually supposed to be experienced with hardware stuff.
The ISP is serving me with a DOCSIS 3.0 Network based on the television cable network in my city. For some reason they are providing the internet-access to only one socket in the apartment, which has a rather uncommon "WICLIC" connector. After having trouble getting an adapter for WICLIC to common coaxial F-Connectors (used by every DOCSIS-Modem), I made one myself.
After setting up everything (not that hard, once the connectors fit) my modem told me, that, while I'm perfectly connected to the ISPs internal Network, I still can't access the internet.
So I called the ISP...
After getting ranted at, about that what I'm doing is illegal and only certified employees are allowed to do this and I will break more, than actually do good and that I can't just connect my own "Router" (again I needed to correct her: Modem) I hang up the phone.
Also she accused me of hacking their devices because I'm not supposed to see my IP address... (My Modem told me on its web interface. I didn't even need telnet for that.)
I went to the ISPs head office, told the first desk as many technical terms as I could remember and got forwarded to something like the main technician.
He was a really nice guy. The only sane and qualified person I dealt with at this company. He asked me for my Address and Device Model, I told him my MAC and last internal IP, I had seen and he activated my internet access within a minute.
We talked a while about the stupid connector that ISP is using in the homes and he gifted me some nicer adapters to connect my modem to the wall.
Why do ISPs hate their customers that much?2 -
It must be good to at least know computer networking?! I remember nothing about these TCP, UDP, whatever the fudge protocol shite. I don't remember these megabit and megabyte things. All I do is code from one end to another. Anyone else watched Eli The Computer Guy's series?2
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does every computer guy has this sitting problem....
for the record i do
and i never notice that unless and until i m finished with my work😂😂😂😂😂😂3 -
*all kinda db shizzle at work but finally done and going home. Can't see anything related to databases for the next few hours*
*gets in car and closes eyes for 5 minutes* (I'm not the driver)
*opens eyes only to look right into the center of a license plate: xx-DB-xx*
😑
I think the universe hates me or something.2 -
Omg...
T-Mobile AT was asked, why they store passwords in plain text, and in a long discussion, they answered this (see img)
I don't know, if this is a late april fool...25 -
What happens when you change the service call center to 100% AI
AI: Hello, this is the After Service center. How may I help you?
Angry customer: Hey! Do you count this as a product? Do you sell this to use it? F*** shit?! Bring the manager now!
AI: Thank you for your response. We will connect you to the Development team.
Angry customer: Uhhhhhh
AI: Hello, this is the development team. Please state your problems.
A bit relaxed customer: Umm, so this product you guys are selling stops working sometimes, so...
AI: We are sorry, but for the product misfunctions, please contact the After Service. We will connect you to After Service.
F***ed out customer: Wait, I just came from the After Service!
AI: Hello, this is the After Service center. How may I help you?
Angry customer who is ready to throw the phone: I said that the product is not working, and I asked to bring the freaking manager in the line!
AI: Thank you for your response. We will connect you to the Development team.
Customer throwing the phone and shouting: F*********************************************************************************************!7 -
Took me a week to realize that "!rant" just means "not rant".
I thought it was some sort of post front-matter that was no longer supported by the app (like a Duck Duck Go "bang").
😅7 -
Today I had sort of a meltdown when I found out that the small, 20-something company where I work and where we should all 'trust each other' is working to stealthily enable SSL Inspection.
I'm done with doing anything other than what is stipulated in my contract such as helping out in other areas out of my own volition.
Management got control hungry and mad once they got their hands on a Deep Inspection Firewall.
Well, I'm not feeling sorry for the uproar they'll have to endure once colleagues find out they are doing this stealthily.
Serves them right and after this and other similar experiences my trust in this company is right through the floor.2