Always at home: check
Dark themes ftw: check
Black hoodie: check
At least 2 monitors: check
1k Browser tabs: check
Up all night: check
Tiered 24/7: check
notepad++: check
Keyboard wakes my sister from 2 rooms across: check
Burns in sunlight: check
DevRant: check

What else to be a successful programmer?

Thank you AMD for reminding me permanently to never buy any hardware from you again.

Totally my step one in any plan!

When code runs without bug and whole team is like...

When you show people a working prototype of what they asked for and they immediately start point out flaws.

IT'S A FUCKING PROTOTYPE, DIPSHIT!

var question = (Code() || ! Code());

Wow! This is my first international mail! Thanks David and Tim team devRant!

[stackOverFlow]
When somebody has already posted a question in the form of a long story, and you just scroll down with good feel but the question is still unsolved for 2 years.

++ if you solve it

(Neat solution)

#noHints

Dad: What do you think about this laptop?
*looking at specs... Raising eyes. Intel i3 first gen., 2 GB RAM*
Me: Nice calculator

My employer bought some new 40" 4k displays to the office. The want us to evaluate if they are any good, and if so replace all monitors... No real developers has one, only HR people sitting there with one huge window with office or word open!! It makes me cry! And they will most likely say they are too big!

When everyone left the office I tried one... OMG, i need this in my life! 😍

*Me and my GF who works for CIA*

Me: Send nudes
GF: Whose do you want ?

FUCK YOU, STOP FUCKING WITH ME! my stupid fucking colleague has just replaced all the semi colons in my repo with Greek question marks for the 5TH FUCKING TIME THIS MONTH. it wasn't funny to start, it isn't funny now, so take your fucking rat-like grin and hyena laugh and FUCK OFF AND WORK! fuck me

Just found this gem in instrumentation book.

!rant

Haha.....😂😂👍

When you write BS logic, but the code works anyways...

So after 5 years you finally show your face..the blue screen of death! And this shit is stuck for past 30 mins.

First rant.

Managing an app in Canada, came back home to Thailand to visit my parents.

No deployments while you're gone, just bug fixes, boss said.

Landed at 3am, "hey I know we only support desktop but we got new customers only on iPad, make it responsive in a day and deploy." Wtf.

Haven't even seen my parents. In Starbucks.

Free Software Foundation Europe trolling...

What's better than an excel sheet to keep the backlog and progress of the team?!
😃🔫

While I work on my devRant client, I always end up thinking, "how would dfox do it for the backend".

Some of the functions I have include:
-fetching new rants, 250 at a time
-remembering the ones I've read and filtering those out (kinda similar to Algo)
-checking for updates from followed users and new notifications

My implementions are kinda spammy though part of it is because I need to use the existing API.

But even so, how would/does he implement these so all the users' requests don't end up bringing down the server, and efficiently store and retrieve everyone's view history?

My problems are small compared to his... How do you think and deal with problems at that scale though?

I'm gonna start a software company and cleverly split up the work into pieces so that I can present them to potential employees as "coding challenges" during the interview and never actually hire them.

After 2 weeks of ranting I have honestly ran out of rants.
Either my life as a dev is too good or I'm clearly not coding enough.
The later seems more plausible.

When testing and deployment are not two different things for the computer centre department of my college(This is the website to authenticate college students to let them use the internet)

Guys it's not cool to re-post stuff from Reddit to devrant.

Not sure what Linux Desktop to use? Use this handy guide:

- GNOME: when you want no tray icons, themes that break every minor GTK release, and extensions for basic features (that are buggy.)
- KDE: pretty go-Segmentation Fault
- DWM/Awesome/i3/etc.: when you feel like the time you spent learning Vim wasn't wasteful enough
- XFCE: when you want one update per decade and poor Systemd support.
- LXQt: the biggest positive is that it doesn't use GTK.
- Cinnamon: when you like GNOME 3 but you want a different menu
- Deepin: when you want a desktop with the build quality of an HP laptop.

Aren't sure whether to use Xorg or Wayland?

- Xorg: if you want to absurdly fuck up your touchscreen, pick this one.
- Wayland: if you want to screw up most of your apps, too bad; this won't work with your proprietary drivers. If only it did.

What distro to use?

- Ubuntu: if you want to break your system with PPAs, check out this one.
- Debian: when you want Ubuntu except with more out of date packages
- Redhat: when you want Debian except with more out of date packages
- ElementaryOS: wait, someone actually made a properly designed Linux UI?
- Arch Linux: the only thing that doesn't make me sick anymore.
- Slackware: "that exists still really?"
- Gentoo: when you hate systemd more than waiting 4 days to compile Firefox on every release.

... I love Linux. I do. But it is very taxing to get things comfortable for me anymore. I feel like the Linux Desktop is in a period of flux and it's painful to be a part of right now.

Everyone that finds out you're an app dev: "So I have this multimillion $$$ idea!"

Me: "I'll do it for $100."

Everyone: "$100!? I'm giving you the chance to be part of the next best thing!"

Me: "Well I guess the 'next best thing' isn't even worth $100."

I literally don't even like telling people what I do 😒

What's the most useful knowledge/skill u could learn?

Have a somewhat good game idea/concept...

Have no experience with game engines...

This could take a while