Give that man some HUGE FUCKING COOKIES!

I started a side project: a small app for my gf and me.

In the end it should consist of different features I call modules. Right now there is only one module that suggests a movie to watch from our watchlist.

i once changed all of the passwords of my main online accounts(google, apple, facebook, telegram, outlook) as they weren't changed for years.

i decided unique and long passwords for each of them.😎

immediately after changing the passwords, i forgot all of them. 😵fortunately, i was able to reset.
Has this ever happened to anyone?

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Manager: Hurry up and login, I don’t have all day

Dev: One sec I have to lookup my password for the system

Manager: How can you not remember your password? Everything requires it these days

Dev: I use a different password for each service.

Manager: Wow you really like to overcomplicate things. Just use the same one for everything like I do, it’s way more efficient!

Dev: …

Learn to read documentation and don't rely on 5 minute Youtube tutorials, stackoverflow or dev blogs for every little thing.

I HATE this kind of popups

That feeling when...

Website idea:

If you can leave one sentence to the world, what would it be.

I want to build a website where people post those sentences.

ever got stuck so bad you don't even know what to google?

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My dumb CEO just hired an even dumber CTO. The new CTO asked me the following questions...

1. What is GitHub?

2. What is JSON?

3. What’s an array?

4. What is Get and what is Post?

5. When an iPhone is offline, can it call an API on our server to tell us it’s offline?

6. I know you’ve spent 11 month the writing this backend in PHP but can you change it to Java now?
Me: Why?
Dumb CTO: Because it’s better.
Me: How?
Dumb CTO: because it is.

7. I know you’ve started to rewrite this codebase I Java but can you convert it to Node.JS now?
Me: Why?
Dumb CTO: Because Facebook uses it.

8. What is MySQL? Why aren’t you using a database instead?

9. What does NULL mean?

Somehow, I doubt that asshole is remotely qualified for the job.

Fakin shyt for brains.

Why the UI/UX guys don't understand that aligning divs is not that easy???

We cant fucking drag those things ....

Linux users be like

Does anyone else suddenly loose the ability to type properly as soon as someone is watching/pairing?

Algorithm: A word used by programmers when they don't want to explain how their code works

Why does Alarmy app on Android occupy 360 MB of storage space? 🤔

Me: *is wondering how this bug is still alive*

the word "zoom" hits differently nowadays

Me : Posts a original developer joke after thinking for 15 long minutes.

Gets 20 ++'s.

Me : Posts random computer science joke stolen from Facebook that everyone would have already seen.

Gets 200++'s.

Fuck this shit.