An area sales rep once rang me to tell me his iPhone screen was cracked and was going blurry around some sections.

I told him to fetch me to look, and I will see what I can do.

5 minutes later I get a SCREENSHOT from his phone asking if I can see the crack and blurry edges.

HOW FUCKING DUMB ARE THESE PEOPLE!!!

I mean, come on. He seriously said when I called him: "But I can see the crack and blurry bits on the screenshot on my phone"

I honestly work out more bugs while thinking in the shower than I do when I'm at work.

Large comment block at the top of the file, commenting explicit line numbers, as in: "line 365: copy to a new image".
Only everytime the comment block grew, the line numbers got more and more off. -_-

my enter key just gave up 😔

I named by Raspberry Pi 3 "Richard Parker". Get it? Hahahahaha....

I'm crazy aren't I...

note 7 is really “Booming” right now

There was no "S" in sight :)

Finally have the home office I've always wanted, with only a few more things left to do in order to consider it finished.

Power company loves me.

Wallet hates me.

Think it's time to get a bigger SSD..

["Hip","Hip"]

//Hip Hip Array

Guys, I have a dirty secret

I use the light theme :o

Try to solve a problem almost all night. Wake up and fix it in seconds.

When something goes wrong at work, my boss will blame the first dev in his vicinity ...

Boss: "what the hell happened? why are the servers down?! This is unacceptable! Blah blah etc etc"

Me: "I dunno. Let me review if my CSS had anything to do with it" 😑😩

Fuck you regex. That is all.

So just saw this course online the logo and title are two different languages not the best first impression

My friend had managed to move up viewport with pure javascript...

Too tired to rant, 4 months of 70 hour weeks have took their toll 😞

That moment when you got a new monitor but have to wait 4 more days for the mini DisplayPort to DVI adapter to arrive to be able to use it 😫

One day before beta is the wrong time to tell me you refactored the entire licensing module - and have zero test cases for it.

FUCK PEOPLE WHO INDENT LIKE THIS YOU MAKE ME SICK

your Windows copy is not genuine..

I spent about 5 hours rewriting an in company C# toolbox because I thought it's connection to a Web API was broken. 5 FUCKING HOURS.

Only to then see I was using port 80 for HTTPS...

I want to know if anyone else has done this. I once completely said fuck it and trashed a project after 3 months of work because of too many error after error. I redid the whole thing in about a week and a half.

Developer (master's degree, -bleeping- smart guy, no kidding) was bragging on how he made a piece of code 3x faster (with the usual pinch that the original dev was incompetent) and spent nearly 6 weeks working on it (wrote his own parallel-foreach library because Microsoft's parallel library was "too slow").
I was the original dev and he didn't know I had my own performance counters where I broke down each stack (database access, network I/O, and the code logic).
Average time was around 5ms (yes milliseconds) and worst case was around 10 seconds. His '3x improvement' was based on the worst test case, which improved by about a second. Showed our boss my graph (laughed out loud, said 'WTF', other curse words) and the dev hasn't spoken to me in weeks (I say 'hi' in the hall and he keeps walking)
Take that master's degree and high IQ and shove it.

fuck fuck fuck, my host.
gave me 32GB of RAM and a 32bit OS

Yesterday: Dear Diary, today the client changed their mind on a critical part of the project.

Today: Dear Diary, (see yesterday).

Came across this gold:

Q) What is the best naming prefix for a global variable?

Ans) //

On a company meeting there was a discussion wether to trigger an event by hover or mouse click for 20 minutes. then..
Me: "There is no mouse click without hover."
-- silence --

it was 12am when we are ready to launch our new web design which requires a lot of hardwork and routing processes. my team lead was the one who pushes the button to production using "cap production deploy" command. everyone in the room (including PM) was like counting down like launching a rocket to space. the feeling is great knowing that everyone was sleepy at that time. im glad it went smooth and everyone congratulates each other.

Happy World Cat Day 😊