Client has an urgent project. They deliver the first spec so I clear the diary and I start work. Then two days later they send through an updated spec which is completely different... Wtf?

Why on gods earth would someone name a prod db xxx_Test?!

19:30, still in the office fixing server issue. Lync message pops up from "let's call him the ba", help! Need to rollback a change on someone else's project that has just been deployed changing the username and password from Xxxxxx Xxx2016 to xxxxxx xxx2016 to stop people from accessing it.... Genius design! By the way, I've just had a look at that 40 page doc of changes you emailed him. When do you want it? Tuesday. Wtf? (Bank holiday here on Monday so one day to make the changes) Ok, if you're busy, it's only text changes so can some of us help? It's only a find and replace right? Er, do you have visual studio? What's that? FU

Mcafee....

Been running (prob crawling) a project to consolidate lots of Windows 2003/sql 2005 servers on to Win/sql 2012. For various reasons, largely decisions around where to put the servers, it taken two years. We were going to run the dr test today prior to going live next week but the network in our backup dc just died!

One of my team has been handed a turd of a laptop which because of corporate policies, has to be fixed rather than replaced. Started of with a noisy fan 2 months ago, led to a warning on the hd. Hd got replaced, but machine was then blue screening. Motherboard was replaced then they discovered it was software and then there was no sound. Today, another engineer appeared to fix the sound and found previous engineer hadn't connected the cable. Whilst doing that, they killed the hard drive....

It works on my machine....

Sharepoint's html editor which puts zero width white spaces in your element ids....

Is a developer a developer if they don't even know the keyboard shortcuts for copy and paste (even if not for code)?

Senior developer/wannabe dev manager who decides that failing silently is acceptable and email alerts is phase 2 #wtf