Jesus fucking christ Google Analytics sucks major fucking donkey dick.

Peace

@$&#! Grrrr... FACEBOOK API SUCK, A FUCKING CATASTROPHE, TEN POUNDS OF SHIT IN A FIVE POUND BAG... !#&$@

That's it, thanks for listening, i'm out. 🙃

Thought Spotify had a bug for a moment.. Then i remembered how lame I am. -.-'

Customer called, said they needed help deleting some images and that they'd mail me a list.

Today I received a package with 20 A4 pages containing nothing but crossed over thumbnails.

I've seen images in .docx files attached to emails, .bmp files, pdf's and zip files with images before...

But literally mailing thumbnails, that's a first..

If only we lived in a digital age where you could capture your screen and image manipulate it later.

Fuck MS Word. Fuck its HTML. Fuck people who copy paste from word.

JavaScript is very similar to duct tape, if it doesn't work, you haven't used enough.

Safari has become the new Internet Exploder.

Change my mind.

Opening up a view file, and first thing I see is a function accepting 13 parameters.

I don't know where to start, so much wrong..

Kill me.

Suck dicks Microsoft... Get choked.
All I wanted to do was to uninstall this piece of crapware.

And now you're telling me i need to UPDATE the installer in order to uninstall.

What the fuck, what obscure substances have you been smoking lately? imbicile numbskull maniacs.

I love tracking down the source of a redirect!

5 hours later....

Facebook API...

Facebooks "graph" or API's in general fucking stink donkey dick.

Their implementation of oAuth is horrible.. 3 different tokens, which can be either short or long lived, for fetching a facebook page feed (the clients own facebook page)
To that you add a clientID and a ClientSecret.

Great... after painstakingly reading confusing documentation and itching your head... You get it to work.

Then they, without notice, makes a breaking change of deprecate an endpoint you were using.. Jesus..

And all the support you can get comes from a "community group" which may or may not reply with a generic link to their documentation...

If you're going to infect your website with a promo-code-banner. And it includes a close/dismiss button..

DON'T PUT A FUCKING LINK ON SAID BUTTON! JUST FUCKING CLOSE THE BANNER AND STOP WASTING MY PIXELS.

I fucking hate React.

Ohh and I especially hate WordPress implementation of said abomination in their Gutenberg editor.

Safari is slowly becoming the new Internet Explorer.

I'm loosing count over how many javascript workarounds i need to make for that abomination.

People who use special characters in filenames, or characters that don't match /[a-zA-Z0-9]-_./ Should by law be executed by hanging and public humiliation.

"Software" such as Yoast SEO, by Yoast is the reason people hate WordPress.

Fuck Yoast SEO, fucking bugged crapware piece of horseshit.

She doesn't understand that most smartphones are capable of calls and navigating menus simultaneously.

So whenever my mother calls in need of help with her smartphone, can be anything from installing a new app to posting on FB.
I have to explain 2-3 steps, then she will hang up, and call again in 5 minutes, where I will then explain the next few steps, and so on.

How she even manages to navigate that much and calling in between, and then struggling with simple task is unimaginable to me..

I fucking hate composer...

Bite me.

!dev && !rant

My thoughts go out to all the french people among us, Notre Dame was such a beautiful cathedral.

Been there once myself a few years back, glad I managed to see it before it burnt down.

Anyone actually granting websites access to desktop notifications upon their request?

Wonder how many actually does, since every website seems to continue and never stops requesting

I currently have my dream job as a web developer, with a little above average salary, good colleagues and an understanding boss.

Today I had a recruiter contact me with a job opportunity (Senior developer) that would easily net me 1.5 times more salary, and a lot of other advantages.

It almost hurts to say no.

To whatever imbicile cock sucking numbskull at apple, who decided it was a good idea to put an 'Orientation' header in image EXIF data, and then rotating images CAN GO JUMP IN THE NEAREST ACTIVE VOLCANO!

If only there was some some kind of program that could automatically indent your code....

Estimates...? What estimates?

... You mean deadlines?

Told my GF she's my number 1.

... She wasn't happy finding out devs count from 0

Fuck you Drupal 8
How complicated can it be to dynamically change the title of a page?

No I don't want to write another custom module, which requires two fucking .yml files?? and initiate another controller for something that simple...

Fuck it! JavaScript it is....

Regular expressions is like a condom, it's safe, combat tested and works most of the time.
But if you use it too much it gets dirty quickly.

During my education there was this "Exception('Smoking hot girl')", and also very kind/sweet I used to help a lot, and tutor best practices on whatever project she would throw herself into.

(It should be noted that half of our teachers where incompetent, or flat out wrong, so we kinda had to use more than usual time helping other people)

But being a shy guy, and having the spine of a worm, I got stuck as a 'personal teacher' for a good period of time. Never had the guts to ask her out.

Not sure if it's selfish to focus your attention on one person because you liked the girl, that's a lot of time I could've used to help others. Or if I should be proud of what I did, I do believe she'd dropped out otherwise....

But nonetheless I did enjoy the time.

1. No release Friday

2. No release Friday

3. No release Friday

Dammit Carl!
Testing in production again?