Project coordinator blames our team because client said we failed to "align" with other teams.

Coordinator.
Project. Coordinator.

What the actual fuck.

COO overcommited features to our client so now we have to do overtime until June so that we can save his ass.

Its his fault, why the fuck are we responsible for his incompetence.

Client: Hey guys! Let us start a bunch of projects that are all dependent on each other and expect them to deliver those on time.

Me: WHAT. THE. ACTUAL. FUCK.

1. Pre-sales to Client: We can develop 200 APIs with 10 developers in 9 months.

2. Client: Ok! Cool, its a deal.

-- Sprint starts --
3. Actual: We are 6 developers, commited (or sold out) to make 200 APIs in 9 months.

Fucking pre-sales.

I got my first computer when I was in 3rd grade. I don't know yet how to search for web pages. What I would do is take a keyword/topic and prepend "http://www" and append ".com" to it.

So if I wanted to search for games I would type "http://www.games.com" on the URL.

Sometimes it works, most of the time I land on some familiar 'buy this domain' web page

Accidentally ran

$ git reset --hard

On my 2 weeks worth of uncommited code.
Thankfully Intellij has a local history. 😥

So my teammate posted on our Slack channel:

^(?=.{1,254}$)(?=.{1,64}@)[-!#$%&‘*+\/0-9=?A-Z^_`a-z{|}~]+(\.[-!#$%&'*+\/0-9=?A-Z^_`a-z{|}~]+)*@[A-Za-z0-9]([A-Za-z0-9-]{0,61}[A-Za-z0-9])?(\.[A-Za-z0-9]([A-Za-z0-9-]{0,61}[A-Za-z0-9])?)*$

Then our manager asked him: "Are you swearing on Slack!?"

No sir, thats Regex.

No. More. Writing. Code. On. A. Fucking. Piece. Of. Paper.

 (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻

Our team (devs and QAs) have been doing a series of overtime work.

So, the company has provided us a place to sleep. Everyday, we would go to work at 10AM and then return to our place to rest at 12 midnight (sometimes at 2AM).

We've been doing this for a week now and we'll resume again tomorrow.

I already feel exhausted, and I was thinking of resigning after all of this mess was over.

However, I am having second thoughts. Since this is my first job, I have no point of comparison.

Perhaps a series of overtime like this one is normal? Is this type of work environment to be expected when being a developer? Or am I selling my self short and there are better options out there? What do you devs think?

Our html:

<input type="number"/>

Accepts only numbers, so far so good. Until QA files a bug:

"Numeric input accepts the letter 'e' "

Apparently 'e' is a valid because you can input something like '1e3' which fucking means '1000' !

Our team tried to argue with the QA that 'e' is valid because it simply means exponent but they argue a normal user would not know what an exponent means because they are not "mathematically inclined"

Part of me agrees with what the QA argues but then I think an average user who could use a fucking laptop or mobile will most certainly know what an exponent is.

Don't fall on the same trap as we did now :(

Playing video games on my PS1 when I was a kid inspired me to explore programming 😎

When I learned how Gameshark works I was blown away!

Client's API returns a very weird response that changes its structure depending on its content.

When a array field has more than 1 children it returns:

{
"field" : [
{ "name1" : "value1"},
{ "name2" : "value2"}
]
}

So far so good. However, the fuckery happens when it has 1 children:

{
"field" : { "name1" : "value1"}
}

WTF! So the client API can return either a JSON object or an array and we cant trust the specs they gave us.

Pick your poison

We are forced to work on weekends because the management and the project manager loves to kiss the ass of our clients. I was even scolded by working from home.

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK.

ITS NOT FUCKING FAIR THAT WE HAVE TO SUFFER AND SHOULDER THEIR INCOMPETENCE IN MANAGING THIS FUCKING PROJECT.

Damnit. God Damnit.

Client wants a beautiful webpage ASAP.

I just discovered the perfect CSS that will magically fix all of their problems:

body {
display : none ! important;
}

The best part is that its mobile friendly by default.

After all,

Simplicity is key 😉

The sad reality for devs :/

*Me and my workmates laughing and having fun before going home*

Me: Hey, do you want to hear a joke?
Workmate 1: What is it?
Me: Look at your code.

...
...
...

Other workmates: BURRRRRNNNN!!!!

Client wants a webapp where every label on all form inputs are configurable, even the fucking login form ("Login" and "Password" text)

They also want it to send emails where the message is configurable too (they can insert your own HTML)

so basically they want the entire fucking webapp to be configurable, all without requiring any code change.

I could use a "configurable" torture device right now.

Development planning:

Expectation:
Gather the requirements then estimate the deadline.

What are clients did:
Here is the deadline, then here are the requirements that we must squeeze into it.

I realized I've need a hobby other than sitting in front of the computer all day.

What non-developer things do you love to do? :)

We must develop and test our code

...via VirtualBox...

...running Windows XP...

...using IE...

..with vanilla Javascript...

...help me...

I wanted to contribute to open source but don't have the time due to a client project.

So what I did was develop an open source library, uploaded it as a public repo, then use that on our client project.

As a bonus, I can reuse that library for similar projects. Haha!

My stress ball found a new body

Boss assigned me a task on Google Docs:

Boss: "Please remove this line"

Me: "What!? You're already there! How hard is it to fucking select the fucking sentence with your fucking touchpad and press the fucking delete key on your fucking keyboard!? Why assign me with such a fucking waste of time and fucking trivial task!?"

What is easy to code at the moment isnt necessarily the best code in the long run.

- From the dev currently maintaining spaghetties of spaghetti code

Go home, Intellij. You are drunk.

The superpower to perform version control on reality. (Git)

Imagine this universe (the current branch), which is made up of a series of events (commits).

Having this ability to allows us to:

- undo events (git reset/git revert)
- reorder events (git rebase)
- transfer to another universe (git checkout)
- derive a new universe from current universe (git checkout -b)
- delete a universe (git branch -D)
- apply an event from another universe (git cherry-pick)

and my favorite:
- merge universes and their events (git merge)

we have to resolve conflicting events, of course.

What else? ;)

Browsing devRant on RemixOS, an Android based OS for desktop and laptops.

If our company wants to outsource us to other clients then why don't we just resign and directly work there instead!!!!

Seriously we apply here as developers not consultants/analysts/researchers