Sometimes I feel like I should handle my frameworks like Trump handles America.
No foreign code.

But then again.. Teaching my co-workers is better than just blaming them.

-Laughed at Gitlab the other day
-Accidentally dropped my db today.

fuck karma

Me: Send nudes
Girlfriend:

Dude, I think I need a stress ball :/

My boss has never programmed before. Recently, he decided that I should print out all the code for an admittedly rather small project (10k lines of Java code, 200 pages printed out), and then have me explain every line to him.

Luckily, he didn't get past 'public static void main', especially since I hadn't even bothered to print out more than that!

How did I start:

It was 1994. I had been kicked out of school on academic behavior. I was working at as a telemarketer to pay the bills. I got drunk on St. Patrick's day and over slept my shift. My boss was going to fire me but said he wanted to give me a second chance. He asked if I knew anything about computers. I said no. He said if I was willing to learn, our IT guy was burning out and needed help. I said ok. Next thing I know I'm learning how to write SQL and importing data to print call cards. I read the manual for Foxpro and started building small desktop apps as labor saving devices. 6months later in knew more than our IT guy. Later a friend showed me "the Internet". I went back to our IT guy in amazement. He said it was just a fad. He called it the CB Radio of the 90s. Our network we ran was called Lantastic.

I immediately quit went back to school and changed my major. I have been a full stack Java Web developer will the heavy emphasis on UI since 1999.

the feeling when you wake up in the morning with the efficient algorithm in your mind you were thinking of all night.

How to write drop down menu with check box in java swing and I should also be able to add check boxes dynamically

When the client is happy!

Makes sense now

I was dressed up as an UDP packet for the Halloween. I don’t think anyone got it, but I couldn’t tell. #humour

Have a great Halloween :)

We will no longer be accepting contracts which have an internet explorer or edge support requirement.

All of the front end devs are going hysterical and celebrating 😂 🎉🎉

Worst part of being a developer?

Everyone thinks you want to freelance a website for them...

Even when you're not a web developer

What do you do?

I write software.

Oh so you're good with computers and stuff?

Yeah

That's p sweet, can you build me a site?

No. 😃

The worst part of being a Dev? The lonely feeling when you are the only one who likes to develop in your group of friends

Took mobile app development as an elective and they are teaching Windows phone programming :/

You know what? I'm starting to think Stack Overflow has an elitist attitude problem. I post an earnest question in meta and 3 out of 4 guys ridicule the idea and are rude. Only one person seemed willing to even consider my question. The other 3 just posted rebuttals of my idea. This is a Q&A forum, not the U.S. presidential debates, damnit!

Thanks past developer for not only one bug but also the bug in your exception handling attempting to catch this bug which resulted in confusing the hell out of us for way too long due to output that made absolutely no sense

Programmer was smoking...

lady nearby: "can't you see the warning smoking is injurious to your life!"

Programmer: "we are not worried about warnings only about Errors"

Guys on CodePen are making battling Pikachus out of pure CSS and I'm just sitting here trying to get my navbar straight.

Ok so my pc is running again.
Time to put some Marilyn Manson on while I code.

Oh wait, what's that? Can't play music? For the 5th time today, fuck you Microsoft.

Interviewer: "Hi, we are searching for a junior frontend dev with 1 year of experience and strong skills with Angular".
Me: "I have never used Angular before but I have 4 years of experience, It's not a problem for me to study it and use it quickly".
Interviewer: "Eh no, we are searching for someone with very strong Angular skills".
Me: "That's fine, but sorry how can a junior dev with just 1 year of experience have already strong skills with Angular? He must have also strong skills with JavaScript in general and It's quite impossible".
Interviewer: "Ehh... ehm.... ehmm..."

Big data is like teenage sex

OMW to GDG DevFest Hamburg!
I'm excited

when you're too lazy to read or even check the publish date of an article.

Do you think one may become a good programmer or coder without excellent knowledge of mathematics or algorithms?

Who else believe we need intellisense for devRant usernames and yes probably a small comment box so we peek at usernames instead of launching a different page entirely

My dumb friend: "let's make a website. put all the advertisements and the website is just all about advertisements!"

Me: "...."

Have classes and exams on Saturday and Sunday, great, my life's over

Lord of code (feel)

I was working on windows before, had to do an assignment for a course.
And was stuck on....visual studio python compiler not working.
So I decided to do this.