Just threw a retirement party for a senior member in our software development department. He was in the company for 30+ years. He came back 3 months later to work, said “Need more money”... awkward

Spiders are the only web developers that like to find bugs.

Comment a 1 if you’re a web dev.
Comment a 2 if you’re a game dev.
Comment a 3 if you’re a data scientist.
Comment a 4 if you’re in cyber security.
Comment a 5 if you’re in IT.
Comment a 6 if you don’t fit any of the above categories and you code only in PHP and refuse to learn any other language because you think PHP is the future.

Language and their user:
C - programming language of God
C++ - Pagan Deity
C# - Beethoven
Java - Jesus
Python - The Crocodile Hunter
Ruby - Miyamoto Musashi (samurai)
Rust - Da Vinci
JavaScript - Satan
PHP - Justin Bieber

Son: Dad, I lost my virginity.

*dad looks under bed*

Dad: I found it!

*pulls out PHP book*

Planning a camping trip with my friends.

Friend1: I’ll bring the snacks.

Friend2: I’ll bring the equipment to build the tents.

Friend3: I’ll bring the first aid kit.

Everybody: who’s bringing the equipment to make the fire?

Me: I’ll do that. I’ll just run Android Studio on my laptop.

Everybody: woah woah man! Take it easy! We just want a simple fire, not burn the whole forest down!

We live in interesting times

Me looking at myself every time I write shit code

At my school we programmed with BluJ and then switched to IntelliJ mid semester. I felt like I went from driving a station wagon to a brand new Tesla.

Never leave your login on a postit

I was coding and drinking this weekend, and I might’ve drank too many. Fast forward two days, there is a box from amazon and inside it was an inflatable sheep. Apparently, I ordered it and I can’t remember why

Everyone sharing pictures of their workspace so here’s mine.

“Rust is going to replace C++...”

I guess she was fluent in C#

*Bell rings*
*some dude holding a book*

“I thought you might me interested in discussing our lord and savior, blockchain”

I aspire to be like this guy right here

We are all guilty of this

Silicon Valley tonight! Who’s watching? And who’s your favorite character?

When you work for the government

If only if only

You call it C sharp. My professor calls it C hashtag. I call it C pound sign.

I'm watching Silicon Valley, and how accurate is the data farm scene? I've never been to a data farm. Is it really that creepy, and do the people that work there really do look like vampires?

I told my mom that Facebook has all of her pictures and information. I asked her if she was okay with that? She replied,
“Que se la metan por el culo!”

Would suck to be a programmer in NK

Coffee coffee = new Coffee();
if (coffee.Empty)
{
coffee.Refill();
}
else
{
coffee.Drink();
}

And the bartender says, "Success, but your not ready"

So a JavaScript function walks into a bar