Found in Twitter...made my day..😊😊

Let's get rid of the developer training: Pair Programming

Let's get rid of the software testers: Test First Programming

Let's get rid of the project managers: Agile

Let's get rid of the project planners: Scrum

Let's get rid of the system admins: DevOps

Let's get rid of the security guys: DevOpsSec

Let's get rid of the hardware budget: Bring Your Own Device

Let's get rid of the servers: Cloud Computing

Let's get rid of the other scruffy guys: Outsourcing

Let's get rid of the office space: Home Office

Let's get rid of the whole fucking company: Takeover

How to ignore it and deliver your project :D

My coworker boys and girls..

Found an actual usage for light themes: bright sunny days when you have the opportunity to work outside. Unfortunately however, this much exposure to sunlight hurts the developer

To all those who posted about unixstickers 1$ offer... Thank you 😊

just joined in a company as an intern

WHO THE FUCK BLOCKS SPOTIFY AND YOUTUBE?

Hell yeah

Interview.

X: So, do you have any weaknesses?
Y: Yes, I'm very honest.
X: But I don't think that's a weakness
Y: I don't give a fuck what you think

At job interview.

They: What would you describe as your biggest character flaw?

Me: *rolls d8* I pretend not to understand the local language in order to avoid interactions I would rather not have.

They: What?

Me: ¿que?

Oh, wow!
Now I know how to draw an owl.

For those of you who are blessed with being able to use new technologies, enjoy it. I just got handed another system to maintain.. last comment in the code was written in 1995.

Shitty pickup lines #1

Yesterday's JR web dev interview:
👨🏻‍💻: Experience?
👶: Well JS, pyhton, UX Design and bit of Sass.
👨🏻‍💻: Feel like you'll have a hard time learning PHP?
👶: Well if it needs to be PHP, I can learn it.. Are you using a certain CMS?
👨🏻‍💻: Cool, good. Yeah we're using WordPress and need to support our sites for IE8.
👶:... Well.. ehm.. *runs away and screams in panic 💨*

At job interview.

Interviewer: What are your goals in life?

Me: Well... Right now... Getting 1000 upvotes in devRant so I can get that fat cat on my avatar....

Who else doesn't give a shit about AR?

I will NOT apply to your job if you do not give a salary range.

The truth has been spoken.

> An update is available
> Installs update
> Update failed bc of corrupted system components
> Random bluescreens
> Sfc /scannow
> Can't scan because there is one pending repair
> Restart
> Does everything except repairing
> Recovery mode
> System integrity check failed
> Reset Windows
> Reset failed bc of "some" problems
> Media creation tool for bootable USB
> Tool fails to write image
> Media creation tool on another pc
> Successful
> Install Windows
> Missing drivers, cannot install
> Wipes hard drive

Fuck you Microsoft

A recruiter just signed their LinkedIn message off with "talk nerdy to me" O_o

Person at work, staring at my keyboard: How much was it?
Me: The keyboard? Oh it's a cheap one for around $30.
Person: Huh... I'll never get you rich boys and your fads.

Well, I don't fucking judge you for your $600 phone, or your $80 shoes or shirts, you cuntwaffle. Fuckin' asshole has the face of a horse's left testicle, is always on his phone, which is arguably fine since he's not a dev but still fuck him, and has the gall to call me bringing my mechanical keyboard to work a 'rich fad'. Oh, that's rich coming from you. Ever seen your ugly mug in your undeserved branded clothing, you unloved, shit-gobbling piece of shit?

"You type so loud." And you breathe too loud but I don't tell you to stop but maybe I ought to.

Go suck on your daddy-uncle's chode for a couple more bucks and stop hanging around me, you judgemental cum-snorting piece of shit.

P.s. it's a cheap keyboard with blue switches but the office is normally noisy and busy enough that no one gives a shit about it. Planning on buying an Anne Pro sometime next month.

Not using git...

"should I commit this? nah let's just implement this huge feature first and commit that clusterfuck of changes with a commit message «changes»"

"We are looking for a GDPR expert to be hired in our company"

"I am an experienced data protection manager"

"Oh, fine! May you give us your phone number?"

"No"

"Your email address?"

"No"

"You're hired"

Bye bye facebook… 🕺

I have this headache that...

What your non-tech friend wonder about your search history?

How is it possible that i remember fluently my aliases, shortcuts in vim, bindings in i3wm and yet forget the name of the person that was introduced to me 5 minutes ago.

"You are rude."

Well yeah no shit sherlock, took you like what, 2 years to notice?

Nightmare for beginners