Hahaha

Where do I hand in my letter of resignation

It’s 2019, why is Maven still a thing?

~During app demo to our client~

- And when you click here the request will be submitted, the admin will be notified.
*App crashes*
- And of course the app will close itself since it's the end of the process.
- Client: That's good
- Me: ⊙﹏⊙

How do you even come up with shit like this?

Not my mom, but my girlfriends grandmother. I told her that I am a software developer, a guy who makes the programs which run on computers.

She became really excited about that, because finally she found someone to repair her 40-year-old radio. I told her that I have no fucking idea about radios, but she did not want to hear that. So I looked at the case, randomly pushed some buttons and again told her, that I could not find the broken part, let alone repair it. But she didn't listen and told me to open the case and look inside.

Sighingly I opened the radio, looked at the inner parts and told her once more, that I don't know anything about this stuff. She told me to look more closely. About to lose my mind about this pointless task, I finally told her, that "the transistor" is the problem and that the best thing she could do is to throw it away and buy a new radio. She was happy with that answer.

"WE'RE HIRING!!"

Skills Required:

BEFORE: HTML, CSS, JS, jQuery

NOW: REACT/VUE/ANGULAR, NODE, CI/CD PIPELINE, DOCKER, GRAPHQL, JOHN CENA

Release.....

*This morning*
HR Lady: we saw your profile and we think it fits what we're looking for, I just need to know what you use for front-end programming

Me: I use ReactJs, AngularJs and for backend NodeJs

HR Lady: Hmm, so you don't use Javascript

Me: ... (unhandled exception in my head)

Me: M'am everything I mentioned is using Javascript

HR Lady: oh! ok.

When u realize it's Monday.....

Best way to handle any exception...

try{
something
} catch(e) {
window.location.href =
"http://stackoverflow.com/search/...]+"
+ e.message;
}

Just in time delivery 👌

Nm.....

Why did I laugh at this for six solid minutes omg I’m at work

Pro tip: If you are a junior, or senior but new at the company, don't start your conversations with:

"We're doing X wrong. At my previous company we did / at school I learned /in this book I read / according to this talk I watched, the right way to do X is ..."

Instead try:

"I'm curious why were doing X this way. I'm used to doing it differently."

I love flat-hierarchy teams, and people who think about flaws in procedures and proactively try to improve the tools we use are awesome, but the next kid walking up to me yelling we use git flow "wrong" will be smacked in the face with a keyboard.

If you come to me with curiosity and an open mind, I'll explain, and even return the favor by behaving the same way when I'm baffled by your seemingly retarded implementations.

Maybe we can learn from each other, maybe discover that "how I learned it" is sometimes good, sometimes bad.

But let's start with some social skills, not kicking off into every debate with a stretched leg and a red face.

devRant meetup in the Netherlands yesterday was awesome! Hereby a group picture we took.

Thanks for the amazing evening, people!

Landing Page takes a minute to load...

Web Dev: Maybe I should another npm package to show a loading animation while the site loads... maybe even a small game...

Relateble

Me: Lets build and test my app!
Compiler: WTF is "onLick" ???

*cries in corner*

Mewwww........

Ok......

alright man thats enough

Yet another Surface Pro bragging rant.

Bought a Designer mouse, Surface pen is coming soon!

Another mystery solved...

Every single fucking time:

Developers: Maybe we'll do something nice for the users, like signing in with Facebook account?
Business: Nah, nobody is gonna pay for that and it sounds useless. We're good with current solutions. Just do your job!

half a year later:

Business: Hey, I just came up with the idea that we could have logging in with Facebook.
Also business: Wow, great idea!
Management: Here's your bonus for a great idea!
Developers: ...

Yell globally

Python is googled more than KIM KARDASHIAN in 2018 !

If I do a job in 30 minutes it’s because I spent 10 years learning how to do that in 30 minutes. You owe me for the years, not the minutes.

those kids...

Source: https://instagram.com/p/...

Nowadays......¯\_(ツ)_/¯