When Its 4PM and you're trying to read the Code you wrote at 3AM.

I FOUND JAVA RECRUITERS ON MOTHERFUCKING TINDER LMAOOOO

Today I sent email blast to wrong list of 12k recipients. I was given the list by another employee. I crashed the email server. It was fun.

Code editors can’t talk, lucky for you they can’t laugh either

Is the past repeating itself? Am I in that situation again where I, as a junior developer, is left to my own devices on a project, with no code reviews, and with features being added/changed as they wish? 😟

Your mom's so fat the recursive function computing her mass causes a stack overflow.

!rant

It's awesome to me that I still love going to work everyday

Yo mama so fat that when she sat on binary tree it became a linked list

From this day I'm also a backend developer! I'm going Full-Stack and the company where I work is letting my learn on the job!

Hello ranters!
Starting my device with this feels good!
How does this look like?

P.S: Image has been designed by some fellow devRanter. I don't remember his/her name probably. Sorry :/ Please feel to mention yourself here.

age += 1

I GOT MY FIRST CLIENT!! I'm not charging too much since it's my first client and I'm just focusing on the experience rather than pay. Were having a meeting Friday so he can tell me what he wants cause he didnt have all the info at the time. It's just a simple website and if he requests more when I present it I'll ask for more muns

So the client i am working for is now going to use my open source library chain wide.

Yay!

A long and stressful week is over, and I missed my train back home, so I went to read a microhistory (beer).

Enjoy your weekend devs and ranters!

Dev team: Using Jira, Trello, other collaborative tools.

Boss: -"Progress?"

Dev team:

I'm working part time as I'm a student and I always thought working in a company would be awesome as I learned programming all by myself and could actually do things now.
30% is updating, compiling
50% is using google to find out if I can even use 27 .net frameworks together and make it work on Android and iOS
15% is finding out what the error code is supposed to mean
And 5% is actually using a programming language.

So the remote manager who won't reply to my emails or slacks, won't invite me to meetings with product / design, won't ask for my opinion on deadline dates and won't tell me whats being said in meetings (despite repeated effort on my part to change this);

Has decided to send an angry email, cc'ing a bunch of people, about "constant deadline slippage" and poor planning on our part focusing on features that should have been de-prioritised.

ahem
*clears throat for maximum yelling rant-ability*

<rant>
I HAVE BEEN EMAILING YOU FOR FUCKING WEEKS ASKING TO TALK ABOUT THE DEADLINES YOU FUCKING COLOSSAL ASS CLOWN.

I'VE BEEN REPEATEDLY TOLD THAT THESE FEATURES ARE A MUST HAVE AFTER ASKING TO DE-PRIORITISE THEM, AND HAVE TOLD YOU THE DATES ARE NOT FEASIBLE.

ONE MORE, ONE MORE EMAIL OR BAD COMMENT AND I'M EXPENSING A TRIP OVER THERE, TO KICK YOU SQUARE IN THE NUTS AS HARD AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE. I'LL HAPPILY BREAK MY FOOT OFF IF NECESSARY, YOU USELESS PIECE OF SHIT.
</rant>

... the above is work appropriate to email back to him and all the higher ups right?

So, I decided last week to give VIM and Emacs a try, for no other reason than I can.

I found emacs a bit clunky, but VIM is actually starting to grow on me.

Can anyone recommend some good sites where I can learn about configuring vim, nothing major, but setting different indents for different languages would be handy.

After 8 hrs of constant coding (inclidin last night's loss of sleep) finally found the solition!
Let me hug the world! 😁

I was reviewing one dev's work. It was in PHP. He used MD5 for password hashing. I told him to use to password_hash function as MD5 is not secure...

He said no we can't get a password from MD5 hashed string. It's one way hashing...

So I asked him to take couple of passwords from the users table and try to decode those in any online MD5 decoder and call me after that if he still thinks MD5 is secure.

I have not got any call from him since.

> My company started posting things on LinkedIn. That's cool.
> My company started asking us to like and share said LinkedIn posts. Okay.
> Since I'm already on I decided to update my LinkedIn profile following some advice I've seen and including some key words. Coolio.
>> Now I keep getting recruiters wanting to be added to my network 🙄 not cool.
I've seen so many posts about recruiters being annoying on LinkedIn and never understood until now. I think I'm going to go back to having a crappy profile so these people don't find me

I'm pretty sure someone has already asked this, but as this is not StackOverflow ...

Question: vim or emacs?

Every time I updated API document, I ask you to comment

You said it looks fine

And when we start integration, you said this need to change

🤷‍♂️

I was assigned a girl that's new to the industry (but with a master's degree).

I had high hopes, as people told me she is quite a curious fellow. As I am just a junior Dev with 2 yrs of experience Ididn't know if I could handle her.

We started working on a project. Which was a change request for a previous project I had developed. I gave her 2 days to read and understand the functional requirements of previous project and this CR. Then explained everything too.

Then I gave here another 3 days to read the previous design document to learn how this code worked.

I asked her multiple times if she has any questions. She said she got everything. Cool.

One week goes by. We start to code the CR while she is shadowing me. I explained why we chose one of the two approaches. And why we are making any of the changes. She as usual nodded in agreement.

I asked her to create Unit test cases.

She couldn't write even one. So, I quizzed her, she knew nothing about the project! Nothing at all!

FUCK!

I wrote down the test cases in short hand and told her to document it (by reffering previous UTC). She wrote the test cases in short hand in the document. And she reused the previous document and did not even clean it out.

After fixing the document I asked her to execute them. But nope, she doesn't even know how the application flows for this project. FML.

It took her 3 days to write and test 8 test cases.

Now she is assigned to me in another project. This one is more complicated. And I gave her a function skeleton to complete. I figured that it will take me 15 minutes so let's give her a day. But nope. 3 days no progress.

I get it someone might not be quick to grasp something. But you know what grinds my gears? That even after this you act like a know it all! Fuck! For someone who hasn't worked with her she is the most dilligent developer.

How the fuck does someone survive masters and suck so bad!

After 60+ days of being jobless i had two offers coming my way. Starting my new job next monday! So excited!

Yesterday
Boss: Can you export the foo data and send it to me?
Me: Sure
Me (later): Ok, just shared foo.csv with you. It should have everything you need, just let me know if you need the bar data.
Boss: OK, thanks.

Today
Boss: Did you get the foo data exported?
Me: Yes, I shared that with you yesterday
Boss: What did you name it?

This is all in a chat, by the way, not in person. Scrolling for 1.5 seconds reveals all the relevant information.

How do I respond in a way that is not sarcastic and does not belittle my boss? I'm not sure it's even possible.

I got a rejection email today. No feedback. And that's it.

Worst part of rejection is not knowing the reasons.

Play obscure card games online asyncronously. [more details]

One company i applied for never wanted to give me the job because they where building a prototype and they wanted someone familiar with their stack to get things up in a short time span.

*Fast forward 7 months*

The company i work currently with has been developing prototypes for startups to help validate their ideas and guess what, the bunch above came to our company unknowing that i work here and i have been put on the project as a lead.

Lol man, you cant write this stuff

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