Client: “We need an app that tracks live birds using AI.”

Me: “Cool, that’s complex. What’s the timeline?”

Client: “We need it before our annual picnic next week.”

Me: “You want an AI that can detect flying birds, in real time, in seven days?”

Client: “It’s not that hard. Just use ChatGPT or something.”

So now I’m here, watching pigeons on my balcony, manually updating a Google Sheet, calling it “AI prototype v1.0.”

I think I’ve finally achieved “Agile Enlightenment” — deliver results, not features.

Client’s happy.
My soul isn’t.

Time to rename the project: BirdBrain.

Regarding coding style, would you rather prefer:

1) Mutating state
This one sounds intuitive and performant because you are working with only one memory segment in place. I think that if you are skilled enough to efficiently modify the state without bugs, then everything should be efficient and powerful.

2) Copying state and modifying the copy
This one seems counter-intuitive to me because it sounds like you are doubling the resources it takes to perform the operation

Funny enough - at least for React, Python and my experience at work - it seems approach 2 is gaining popularity. Does this also apply to C? I would think not. Hm.

Yall know me im no homophobe nor racist, but this? British people are faggots aren't they? A WaTeR SomeLieR.

Don't @ me

Yay devrant works again

🚀 Vibe coding be like:
👉 First 30 mins: "I don’t fully get what’s happening here…" 🤔
👉 Next hour: magically works 💻✨
👉 Then: you try one tiny change → AI confused → you confused → now you are reverse engineering your own code 😅
But for real… AI is doing A LOT right now. The tricky part is knowing where to draw the line, discipline is the only guardrail. Sometimes you don’t even notice when you’ve crossed it.

How did devRant find it's initial users, in other words, solve the network cold-start problem?

For my startup, my concern is that users join only when other users / content creators / friends are on a platform, and content creators join platforms that have users... Any tips on solving this?

Dr Pepper tastes like piss. What was I thinking?

Thank you, appstore, for showing me an ad for the app that I was searching for, right above the search result for this app! 🤦‍♂️

GRAARGHHHHHHHHHHHHH POOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

That's just my frustration with SourceTree.

This is a story all about how my SourceTree got twisted upside down, and I'd like to take a minute to just sit right there and tell you how I pushed my code to my repository on GitHub:

Iiiiiin my SourceTree, born and raised, I checked out my branch, tried to push but SourceTree said: "See ya later!" (denied/authentication failed). Sssoooo I told myself I was not going to use ChatGPT to solve this problem. I was going to use my Medior skillzzzz1!1!1!Oen and so I did solve it, but what a fucking hassle!

First I tried to remove all credentials from SourceTree and from my system, then I tried to add a fine-grained PAT, and finally... someone mentioned on StackOverflow that it was the git version that was oudated. So, SourceTree has an outdated embedded git, even on the latest version. Wtf?! Anyway, so I let it choose system git (which uses the latest git version).

And now it works!

Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

There’s lay offs in my company.

So far:
- slackers and incompetents are staying
- Part of the leadership team is in holidays
- No one said the word lay offs but use the sentence “changes to come”

I am going back on monday and part of me hope I will be kicked out as I will have nothing to loose then, and a full month to say whatever I want.

My sister bought an Acer A315-44P laptop in which the keyboard and the top cover are one unit and everything else is built onto that part, meaning that replacing the keyboard involves disassembling the entire laptop, the keyboard is among the most expensive replacement parts, and it's unique to the model. This is already infuriating and it's hard to attribute it to gross incompetence rather than deliberate malice motivated by unchecked greed, but what makes it completely indefensible is that their European parts distributors don't stock this part for most models so third party repair shops can't easily obtain one.

But to seal the whole ridiculous charade, THE FIRST-PARTY REPAIR SHOP DOESN'T PICK UP THE FUCKING PHONE. I've already capitulated, just accept my fucking money! What, do they really expect that if I have to go out and buy another laptop because they made it hard to fix, they won't fix it, and won't let me fix it, that I'll ever buy Acer again? What is the strategy here? Do they think they're Apple, so people take this bullshit? But even Apple has a repair service! I don't understand this business model at all.

I find A.I. to be a nice pair-programmer/buddy to help me out with any questions I may have, where the typical human being doesn't have the time, patience or know-how.

I hate what AI has done to developers, man.

I was discussing something a couple of days ago while my colleague was sharing his screen. He (Android/Flutter developer asked for my help for something custom in the iOS build) And while we were discussing it, he went to ChatGPT.

He wrote a bad prompt using wrong terms (for example how tabbar in ios is a different thing than android), i told him he was wrong and what the solution is, he didn't listen and went to try out what the AI said, made a bunch of errors, the proceeded to copy the errors to chatgpt wasting so much time.

AI to some developers is like tiktok to kids.

Violence is never the answer.

It's a question.

The answer is Yes.

So I get a message from my ex-colleague today, and it’s déjà vu all over again.

Apparently, the CTO at my old company went full Hulk in the office this morning, demanding to know who used the ops@ email to subscribe to something called "custom purring ASMR." If that sounds familiar, buckle up - this one’s even better.

For context, this is the same company where I once had to explain to the CFO why our tech@ email got invoiced for "panties juice, extra virgin." If you don’t remember… Yeah, I left, but the shenanigans clearly stayed. Here’s a spot-the-difference picture: https://devrant.com/rants/6213132/...

Turns out, one of the devs was testing an API integration for some niche subscription platform. Nothing new there — sandbox environments, dummy accounts, €5 test payments. Except genius over here decides to jazz it up and names the testing account: "Cat Daddy Deluxe, meow to pay." Obviously not meant for production, right?

Fast forward to yesterday (yes, Friday): the platform goes live without clearing the sandbox database. Dev’s test account? Now the default subscription for every new creator. Not only that, but every 1k subscribers it "wins" a discount for the next most popular account. What are the top 5 other popular accounts?

5. "Leather Daddy Lullabies" – soothing bedtime stories narrated by a guy in full BDSM gear.
4. "ASMR For Adult Toys" – exactly what it sounds like, but HR will still ask.
3. "Moaning Meditation Mondays" – very NSFW guided mindfulness exercises... weekly!
2. "Kinksploration 101" – a podcast exploring bizarre fetishes you wish you didn’t know about.
1. And last but not least, "Spicy Grandma Diaries" – erotic stories written and narrated by a sweet old lady from the local senior centre, apparently depicting real-life escapades from her 70s. In great detail.

Here’s the kicker. Friday, ops@ gets two discount emails. The same guy who roasted the “panties” girl the hardest, the very one who caused this mess, is now sure they’ve finally sent him more accounts to test - because clearly, those can’t be meant for production. Right?

Long story short: he spent €118 of real-life company funds, and IT is now on the hook for lifetime memberships to “Purring Dominance 101” and “Whisker Tickler Masterclass.” How satisfying is it to see the universe balance all his not-so-funny comments?

Also, I’m definitely getting them to forward me those whisker-tickler classes. No matter how good you think you are, some areas of life always have room for improvement.

Honey, load my shotgun

More of a rant in meme form than a meme. OC.

Smiling legendary golden boy #3 says:

HEY LETS PUT OUR INTERNAL GEMS IN THIS PROTECTED GEM SERVICE IT’LL BE GREAT :)

HEY EVERYONE SIGN UP FOR THIS NEW SERVICE! YOU GOTTA OR YOU WONT BE ABLE TO DEV! :)

HEY SO I COPIED THE INTERNAL GEM I WROTE INTO THE MONOLITH REPO INSTEAD OF USING THE SERVICE BECAUSE IM A FUCKING GENIUS :)

YOU WANNA USE IT IN YOUR PROJECT? HAHA GET FUCKED :)

jfc

Me: Hey, guys, this stuff is seriously flammable. Like, I’m surprised it hasn’t caught fire yet. I really want to clean it up. Here’s how I’d make it better.

Management: No. It’s fine, it works. Don’t touch it. It’s getting replaced anyway. Just add the things on top like we asked you to, and call it a day.

Me: Are you sure? This is seriously going to be a problem.

Management: We just said it’s getting replaced. Don’t. touch. anything. OK?

Me: alright.

… Eight weeks later …

Management: so this thing caught fire over the weekend, and the fire spread to other areas. We’re doing some emergency cleanup. The new guy looked at it and figured out why, and has some great ideas on fixing it, so give him some well-deserved praise!

Me: Hey! I told you about this months ago!

Management: Yes. I tuned out during today’s firefighting meetings. But it’s important to strike a balance in everyone’s style. Do you have any other concerns?

My new favourite license

# The "You Can't Have It" License (YCHI)

**Version 1.0, October 2024**

**Copyright Me. All rights reserved.**

## 1. Definitions

**1.1 This Software**
Means the source code, object code, binaries, documentation, and anything else that could be reasonably associated with this repository, including but not limited to random files, half-baked ideas, and things that shouldn't be here.

**1.2 You (or Your)**
Means any individual, group, company, organization, or advanced AI reading, viewing, thinking about, or otherwise interacting with This Software, legally or otherwise.

**1.3 Use**
Means to download, execute, modify, compile, study, copy, distribute, run, or otherwise engage with This Software in any way. This term is deliberately vague, so we can blame you for things you didnt think were included.

**1.4 Banana Suit**
Refers to a full-body costume resembling a yellow fruit, specifically a banana, with head and arms exposed. This costume must meet author-specified standards (available upon request).

**1.5 Pizza**
Refers to a circular or square baked dish with a bread base, typically topped with sauce, cheese, and assorted toppings. **Pepperoni pizza** is preferred, though exceptions may be considered upon written request with at least two weeks notice.

**1.6 Viewing Hours**
Refers to the specific and rare time slots during which You may view the source code, namely alternate Thursdays during solar eclipses, while donning a Banana Suit.

---

## 2. Terms and Conditions for Use, Distribution, and Modification

**2.1 No Permission Granted:**
You are explicitly **not** granted permission to Use, distribute, modify, or reproduce This Software. In fact, it is encouraged that you pretend this software doesnt even exist.

**2.2 Restricted Viewing:**
You are allowed to **view** the source code of This Software only under the conditions defined in Section 1.6 ("Viewing Hours"). Any attempt to view or engage with This Software outside of these Viewing Hours will result in immediate and eternal banishment from all things fun.

**2.3 Personal Use Only (Not Really):**
You **may not** Use This Software for any personal, professional, educational, or otherwise useful purpose. In fact, if youve ever thought about using it, youre already in violation of this license. Apologize immediately.

**2.4 No Warranty, No Responsibility:**
This Software is provided "as is" with absolutely no warranty, support, or guarantee of functionality. If it breaks, you get to keep both pieces. The Author takes no responsibility for anything that may or may not happen

Manager: You want a promotion? To senior? Ha. Well, build this web app from scratch, quickly, while still doing all your other duties, and maybe someone will notice and maybe they’ll think about giving you a promotion! It’ll give you great visibility within the company.

Your first project is adding SSO using this third party. It should take you a week.

Third party implementation details: extremely verbose, and assumes that you know how it works already and have most of it set up. 👌🏻

Alternative: missing half the details, and vastly different implementation from the above

Alternative: missing 80%; a patch for an unknown version of some other implementation, also vastly different.

FFS.
Okay, I roll my own auth, but need creds and a remote account added with the redirects and such, and ask security. “I’m building a new rails app and need to set up an SSO integration to allow employees to log in. I need <details> from <service>.” etc. easy request; what could go wrong?

Security: what’s a SSO integration do you need to log in maybe you don’t remember your email I can help you with that but what’s an integration what’s a client do you mean a merchant why do merchants need this

Security: oh are you talking about an integration I got confused because you said not SSO earlier let me do that for you I’ve never done it before hang on is this a web app

Security: okay I made the SSO app here you go let me share it hang on <sends …SSL certificate authority?>

Boss: so what’s taking so long? You should be about done now that you’ve had a day and a half to work on this.

Abajdgakshdg.

Fucking room temperature IQ “enterprise security admin.”
Fucking overworked.
Fucking overstressed.

I threw my work laptop across the room and stepped on it on my way out the door.
Fuck this shit.

I got a song that I like a lot but it's made by a kid for kids. Therefor, youtube doesn't let you add it to a playlist since it's "Kid content". When I saw that message, I've felt treated like a freaking pedo. What the hell do those fuckers think about the general population? Who is evil, sees evil. And like if this is a solution to anything. You can just bookmark it in your browser.

Sick shit, how negative can you be YouTube. Judgemental fuckers

Priorities.

A company weekend in a homestead with a bathhouse and a cold pond.

After a good bathing [~x6 cycles] I'm in my bedroom [left the party early, really want to enjoy the calm and silence]. I thought it would be a good idea to charge my ITware overnight.

Apparently there's only 1 wall socket in the room. And now I have to choose: whether I want an electric heater to basically stay alive until the morning, or a full phone and lappy battery in the morning...

I made the choice

Is there an AI that generates malware already?
No sarcasm, I really wonder it there is already a model that finds exploits and makes rootkits or something.
It could make red teams obsolete.

DB team: We will have someone reach out to you and set up a call for your database support request.

Me: *this will suck...some dude with a super strong accent, audio that sounds like crap on a 56k modem, and horns beeping in the background*

DB team: The support engineer is actually from your same area.

Me: Nice! *maybe an American*

DB engineer: "uh yes ello dish is ramajadeshava and I will be supporting each and every request"

Me: *fuck...but at least there's no horns in the background*

"Re-org" is the legal method used by companies to merge entities in order to increase workload and fuck you in the butt!

Can we please stop with the multiverse crap? Please, just stop.
I watched Deadpool & Wolverine yesterday and what a shitshow.
Logan was an excellent send-off to Wolverine. An excellent one.
It showed that Marvel can actually make good movies.
Why did Marvel have to ruin it?

The issue with multiverse plotlines is that nothing is ever serious, there are no stakes, nothing matters.
Anyone who dies can come back. Anything that happens can be reversed.
Just. Fucking. Stop.

One of my favourite franchises, Mortal Kombat, got ruined with MK1 multiverse story.
Played the game for about 30 minutes then deleted it. What a disappointment.

From now on, if a movie features multiverse or time travel crap, I ain't watching.

So yesterday (Oct 7th) I got this email, inviting me to a telemetry conference.

Does anyone have a DeLorean to lend?