I saw Steve Ballmer’s sweaty DEVELOPERS DEVELOPERS DEVELOPERS rant and that really spoke to me on a fundamental level.

I had a dream about AI.

I was contracted at a company that did some dodgy things. One of the things they "produced" was train car covers. They said the beauty of "selling" these is that they only showed that they shipped them to customers, despite never shipping them. This allowed the customers to take credit for covering their train cars to meet some environmental quota. It was a racket to satisfy someones auditing books somewhere.

Well my specialty was AI systems. I provided various types of AI for them to use to run their scams. However, there was a rule. I was not allowed to sell them or bring onsite any level 5 or above AIs. Level 5 or above AIs were AIs capable of independent thought. Not sure what levels were below, but I can imagine level 1 was probably pattern matching. Level 2 maybe can make decisions based upon rule sets.

As the dream progressed I found myself smuggling a level 5 AI onsite by combining 2 lower level AIs with complementary systems. Once "hooked up" they would act as a single level 5 AI. Not sure if I was working on some sort of industrial espionage or undercover for some sort of legal agency. I woke up too soon to find out who I really was.

Don’t.

I save about 2h commute (so 4h/day) which is nice.

Also not constantly getting interrupted by colleagues

The 5 second commute, plus no need to get dressed.

So excited about this beast... wish I had a model f... but this will suffice for now.. definitely going to start collecting older stuff. As an embedded software engineer working on AI projects and such give you a good reference point of what was possible in the day with less

Interviewer: Why do you want to work for Facebook?

Me: I'm keen on protecting people's data and want them to have a good user experience

Interviewer:

Me:

Interviewer:

Me: haha I'm joking I don't give a shit

Interviewer: haha omg I was like whaaatttt lmao

src: https://twitter.com/ArfMeasures/...

Started today my curricular internship as a Software Engineering Intern, doing Full Stack. Really excited for it ☺️

My Love I am writing to you from the front lines roughly 1 month into Microsoft Access. I hope you are doing alright and no harm has found you.

You might have heard the news that it has not been going well for us. The truth is we were not prepared in any way for this. We are constantly facing problems with the code and when we understand one function another two are referenced inside of that function.

The high command does not provide us guidance, truth be told I do not think they know what their application is doing. I am surprised we got this far. Our new objective is to focus our primary forces on the if/else and cases. The name for this assault is "Operation Logical Function" and I fear for my life as I do not know what is in those cases or where the road will lead.

Morale is very low, many of the soldiers spend time writing letters to their loved ones, recreating their blog for the 5th time or just daydreaming when they were free from this tyranny of legacy war.

For now , I long to be in your arms and smell your lilac and gooseberries cologne I love so much

My love and thoughts always with you , your John

FUCKIN FIREBASE

EVERYTHING WAS HAPPENING PERFECTLY.

UPLOADING WAS HAPPENING PERFECTLY

BUT NOT SHOWING ON THE CONSOLE.

WHY?

BECAUSE I HAD NAMED THE GETTER DIFFERENTLY!!!

FUCKKKKKKK

5 FUCKING HOURS. 5 FUCKING HOURS!!!!!!!!!!!

Finished porting clientX to Linux, including dev laptops and desktops. The best part was getting to personally enjoy the moment I got to delete all IIS/Windows integration logic from the .Net core services.

Commit message:
"Windows... where we're going we don't need Windows. #CLD-15"

36.000 users. One life goal achieved. ^^

This year, I want to implement a blockchain enabled commodities exchange using Arcblock.io’s Forge framework. I hope to Launch by the 3rd quarter of the year.

If god was a developer

birthday += 1;

Someone donated to me today for one of my open source projects.

I don't even know what to say. Thank you 🙏

This facts are killing me

"During his own Google interview, Jeff Dean was asked the implications if P=NP were true. He said, "P = 0 or N = 1." Then, before the interviewer had even finished laughing, Jeff examined Google’s public certificate and wrote the private key on the whiteboard."

"Compilers don't warn Jeff Dean. Jeff Dean warns compilers."

"gcc -O4 emails your code to Jeff Dean for a rewrite."

"When Jeff Dean sends an ethernet frame there are no collisions because the competing frames retreat back up into the buffer memory on their source nic."

"When Jeff Dean has an ergonomic evaluation, it is for the protection of his keyboard."

"When Jeff Dean designs software, he first codes the binary and then writes the source as documentation."

"When Jeff has trouble sleeping, he Mapreduces sheep."

"When Jeff Dean listens to mp3s, he just cats them to /dev/dsp and does the decoding in his head."

"Google search went down for a few hours in 2002, and Jeff Dean started handling queries by hand. Search Quality doubled."

"One day Jeff Dean grabbed his Etch-a-Sketch instead of his laptop on his way out the door. On his way back home to get his real laptop, he programmed the Etch-a-Sketch to play Tetris."

"Jeff Dean once shifted a bit so hard, it ended up on another computer. "

Are there any survivor or Am I here alone?

I feel that I should mention my reason for having joined devRant.

Although I often write computer programs, I do not consider myself to be a computer programmer, for the problems which I solve often do not pertain to the method which I use to solve a problem with a computer program. Rather, I am an intelligence analyst, and this has been my title for approximately sixteen (16) years.

I joined devRant not only because I wished to better the computer programs which I write, although this could be better accomplished by again reading the specifications for the programming languages which I use, but also because I wished to join an on-line community of which the members are interesting and competent. As I read threads, I observe that both of these requirements have been matched, with the emphasis being placed on the latter requirement.

I thank the majority of you for maintaining an on-line community which is not (total) crap. Ha.

Everyone here ranting about a fucking missing semicolon. I can't remember the last time a missing semicolon was the issue...

You wanna know what's REALLY BALL-BUSTING????

WHEN THE FUCKING 10 y/o LEGACY CODEBASE, CODED BY FUCKING PHP WORDPRESS SCRIPTERS WHO THOUGHT THEY COULD BUILD AN ENTERPRISE SHIT CAUSE ZF2 "LOOKS EASY" AND THEN FILL IT UP WITH SPAGHETTI, IS SO BAD WRITTEN THAT IN ORDER FOR THE PAGE TO RENDER YOU ACTUALLY ****HAVE**** TO DISABLE ERROR REPORTING SO WHENEVER A FUCKING ERROR HAPPENS ON THE TEMPLATE RENDER COMPONENT OF ZEND FRAMESHIT 2, YOU'RE LEFT WITH A FUCKING BLANK PAGE AND NOTHING IS LOGGED TO THE LOG FILE, SO YOUR ONLY OPTION IS DIE() DEBUGGING LINE BY LINE ON THE 1300 LINES PHTML FUCKFEST OF A VIEW THEY HAVE.

MISSING SEMICOLON? YES PLEASE, GIVE ME MORE OF THAT SHIT

!rant
Yay just ranked 3rd in an IBM hackathon. Didn't know I could stay up for 36 hours straight and work 30 of them.

I want to learn app development but, due to some reasons I cannot buy a laptop now. And my current laptop is way too old to support android studio. So I planned to utilize this time to learn web development.

I completed HTML5 and CSS3 and now currently I'm learning JavaScript.

I have made a website which can be used to put emojis in your webpage.

Although, the JS section will be added in further version( after I've finished learning 😅), still it can be used by copy and pasting the cdn and image names.

website link: https://0ishan0.github.io/emojistha...

Dedicated to all js devs out there!

“Fullstack dev continues to unleash his terror.”

We were in a meeting the other day discussing how we can integrate our React component with other existing systems easily — other React apps, Ionic, Angular, Vue and vanilla HTML.

All of a sudden, he opens his mouth.

Fullstack dev: So the thing is... it’s like...ummm... (he always starts after with these words. Always) since Ionic and Vue are both “angular-based”. It shouldn’t be a problem.

Me: excuse me! What do you mean vue is “angular-based”? What’s vue gotta do with angular?

Fullstack dev: You need angular installed to run vue apps and you have data binding in vue and in angular.

Me: (fuck me dead) I don’t know what that means, but I know what the Rock is cookin’. (My exact words in the meeting)

They flew him in from India and they keep extending his stay. He’s been working on the project for 2+ years now.

More to come!