FBI open up

me: import express from 'express';

my IDE: quick fix: remove import express from 'express'; ('express' is declared but its value is never read.)

me: // you don't say, as I only just started typing!

"Hey, maybe we should do this! Why aren't we doing this?"

We are, this is on the roadmap and we just discussed it last week. Why bother discussing and documenting it if you are not even gonna read it? I'm tired of repeating the same thing over and over again.

Idiot Americans who think that mm.dd.yyyy has any right to exist

Few days back it was just a meme but now it's a sad reality. About to cry now.

The colleagues who do testing in my department collectively call their assert function 'ass()'

Wfh doesn't mean extended work hours I have a life too you know

Wife clearly knows I’m a geek with this new mascot!

That co-worker that erases all of your changes if there's a merge conflict.
Fuck you too buddy.

DEVRANT CRASHES RANDOMLY ON IOS. FIX THIS, JESUS CHRIST

Welcome to the future guys.

"Not everyone notices the flowers you plant, but everyone will notice the fire you start." - Unknown

POV: you have left a react project alone for half a year

FAEs are missing I guess xD

No, my family did not support me.
They complained about everything.
From how "Python was demonic" to how "Working with computer wont save you from the coming tribulation"

Growing up in a religious cult sucks.

Fuck you to the hunt and peck "tech lead" who did his utmost to stop me from getting promoted by trashing on my reputation behind my back.

That was really the last straw for me at that job. I quit to work on my own projects.

I will never work in big tech again.

Companies: We can’t find any senior developers to hire.

Also companies: We pay seniors like juniors.

Me: *Killing tickets like there's no tomorrow*

Others: Doing nothing.

Manager: Well, since you are closing tickets here are some from your coworkers.

Pros of working at home:
Beer time at 14:00

When bugs are seen by the client and boss therefore asks me "did you know about this bug?", what I'd really like to answer is:
"well shit, no! I would have solved that or at least told you about it, don't you think? what kind of fucking question is that?"

But then I just answer "no, lemme check"

My first ever salary made with coding came yesterday! 🎁

Ran into a girl who I had a crush on in high school at a bar last week. Hanged out for a bit, but then I had to run catch the last train home.

Today I get a message from her that reads: "Hey, it was nice to meet you last week. Can I call you some time, there's something I want to tell you. 😉"

I think to myself -- sweet and say that I have no meetings today, call me whenever you can.

A couple of minutes later she calls me, and the first thing she says: "I have this app idea..."

fuck, shouldn't have hyped myself up.

Where's my caviar

>we increased new releases to once a day
> wow, how'd you do that?
> fired the QA team

Credit - @iamdevloper✓

If you ever get La-tte in a meeting, always cappucci-go.

Totally agree...

That fortune cookie is definity meant for programmers.

2011: 3 billion devices run Java
2018: 3 billion devices run Java

I wonder how developers at pornhub get anything done :|

That feeling when the feature you've been working on everyday for the past 2 months is pushed into production.

My baby's all grown up now 😭