🤔 If developers were linguists...

Person 1: How do you say "????" in Italian?

Person 2: Why don't you use Japanese? It's a much better language.

how do you pronounce PHP?

1- pe-he-pe
2- pé-hash-pé
3- pe-itch-pe
4- perverted hell poop

Stolen from reddit, but definitely deserved a share.

Zoom: Don't worry everyone we'll deploy a work around to stop this venerability while keeping all the functionality in place.

Public: wouldn't it be safer to just remove some of these features? Someone will likely find another way around it.

Zoom: We feel comfortable with our decision and stand by our approach.

Apple: Fuck that - https://techcrunch.com/2019/07/...

Been suffering from a constant headache! -__-

The aCalendar app let's you choose vibration pattern, it's one of the better settings I've seen.

We are in 2017! :)

Happened during an exam!
Had a viva session after the exam

Examiner: how much do you know about Linux
Me: (pulls out phone and shows him the kernel I have been working on)
Examiner (to other teacher): give him full marks already

I did a fucking scientific study about fucking rants and found a fucking high correlation between the usage of "fuck" and the number of fucking upvotes.

Bf: what you doing?
Me: coding
Bf: do you ever stop working?!
Me: I'm not 'working', I'm doing my own project.
Bf: but you do that at work. Why do you want to keep doing it?
Me: it's fun?

--- a few days later ---

Bf: what you doing?
Me: reading.
Bf: omg you're not coding! What are you reading?
Me: a book about coding
Bf: *faceplam*

Our life story explained 😂 !

Rest In Peace mspaint.exe, 1985 - 2017. You will be greatly missed.

That moment when GitLab adds an article you wrote to their blog

Me and my wife are software engineers
Started dating while doing a project together
I guess you could say that we...
MERGED WITHOUT CONFLICTS

soul mates in programming world.

Documentation is like a sex.
If you don't have it, It's bad.
If It's bad, at least you have it.

Stack overflow :D

Hey, joining the community this morning. Hope it's gonna be fun!

Kisses from France!

Cable porn

Back in ninth grade.
Ouch..
(But I made a pretty decent game with it xD)

Fucking useless languages that compile into other languages but provide no real benefit other than some trendy syntax crap.

I used to do some freelancing and one of the main clients I worked with had a project they hired me for that used Drupal. I fucking hated it. I thought it was bloated (and slow as fuck), unnecessarily complex, and just all around a horror to work with.

Even though that was many years ago, from other devs I've met, it seems like Drupal never really got much better. One devops guy who worked at the previous company I was at told me about some benchmarks he had done on Drupal in his previous work. The performance results he got were an absolute joke - awful concurrent performance and just a brutally slow CMS.

Needless to say, since that freelance project, I've never used Drupal again and never will.

Sometimes you just gotta take a step back and laugh.

Saw this and I immediately had to rebuild this.
http://bambusource.de/typo

Lol
[the image is not mine]

File > New > Project
Let's do this!!

Forever Alone :'(

Cable porn

Q: What is the most used language in programming?

A: Profanity.

Case closed, stop arguing!