Make devRant Great Again!

++ If you agree

My dev superpower would be the power to magically refill anything.
Out of hot coffee? Refill your thermos!
Bank account running low? Refill with money!
Battery empty? Refill with charge!
Going bald like me? Refill your head with hair!
Bed empty? Refill with beautiful women!
Clients / managers annoying you? Refill their bladders!
The possibilites are limitless!

If you wanna replace few of the carousel banners in your website, at least fucking send me the image with the same aspect ratio or resolution compared to the old images.
WHY THE FUCK YOU WANNA BLAME THE DEV TEAM WHEN YOUR GRAPHIC TEAM AND YOUR MARKETING TEAM IS SHIT?

🤔✍👍 ✔

Fact!

So I saw this the other day

Sheer cruel🤣🤣🤣

Applied to a job I knew I was a perfect match for but never heard back. Wondered why but ah well. Applied to another and go to edit my cover letter to find out I had "joined the company when I was three years old" inside of it. Note don't write cover letters at midnight when your tired.

3 nights of "why doesn't this work?", "what else can I try?", "why doesn't that work either?"...

Finally... it f**king works!

Being part of the team who did the initial investigation and analysis on the wannacry ransomware which took down our hospital. 100 hours in one week getting everything back online. Was intense but amazing!

Friend asked me, "How does it feel being the CTO of a startup?"

Me: "I feel like the main character in one of those cartoons where train, going full speed, is running out of rail road, so he takes rails from behind the train and puts them in front. And the entire thing is on fire. And everyone you hire is trying to put it out with gasoline."

Friend: "Doesn't your CEO help?"

Me: "Well... He had never seen a train before, and he thought they operate on magic and wishful thinking. And he never realized they need rail track to even run. So... not really"

Friend: "So, it's pretty bad, ha?"

Me: "It's great actually. We just closed our seed round. We're about to launch beta. I might even get 5-6 hours of sleep this weekend 😅"

When i ask for a raise -

Boss : Are u joking ? I can see u hardly working.

When I ask for a leave -

Boss : Are u joking ? Who will do your work ?

When you do rm -rf and the shell asks for password!

My new debugging buddy!

I think the most annoying thing of being a programmer is to accidentally press ctrl + s on a browser because of having been saving so much

How my lecturer drilled JS syntax into us:

Write this:
var x = document.element;
x.value = 10;

Instead of this:
document.element.value = 10;

His reasoning:
"You make the cake in the kitchen, you don't put icing on it on your way to present the cake"

#wannaCry Ransomware:

US engineers trying to find antivirus

Europe engineers finding preventing tools

meanwhile...

Indian engineers already updated their resume with " Worked/Implemented fix for wannaCry ransomware"

Meanwhile...

Indian HR consultants asking for minimum 5 years experience in handling "wannacry"

And meanwhile....

in Hyderabad Ameerpet - people might be seeing banners of training institutes mentioning that they have trainers available with 10 years of industry experience on this.😜😜😝😝

At the top of a 2000+ line source file

is there any good boss or project managers in the world or all of them are just born assholes?

Don't understand USB storage?
Well here it is, in a nutshell -

6 min 38 sec Skype Meeting that could have been covered in an email..WHY?!?!

sudo rm -fr /
# deletes unwanted french language pack

Linux is love...

Hope this hasn't been posted before, found it hilarious.
From /r/ProgrammerHumor

Be kind always.

Old school Lan parties

30 year old starting to learn to code. Wish me luck!

The joys of web dev

Business idea: panties with HTTP status codes printed on them.

451 for our underaged customers - unavailable for legal reasons

411 to crush a man's self esteem - Length required

429 for girls with stalkers - too many requests

402 for our professional customers - payment required

And, of course, 202 - Accepted

All things have ends. Nothing lasts
If I am currently sad, this situation will pass.
If I am currently happy, this situation will pass too.

If there is a bug, boss like shit.. it'll pass, it doesn't deserve to be that sad ans depressed..

If there is no bug, and the work is perfect.. it'll pass.. there will be moments when sadness come..

it's just everything is going, nothing deserves to be sad or that happy.