Kiki’s workplace

time traveler: *steps on a bug*
changes to our world:
- C has python syntax based on indentation and has no curly braces
- mario has fall damage
- tetris is called triris and uses blocks of three squares rather than four
- the word "disk" doesn't exist, everything is "disc"
- every device uses a new version of mSATA instead of usb type c
- screens are 3:2 instead of 16:9
- javascript name wasn't adopted, the language was called lifescript instead, as originally intended. because of it, it didn't secure funding when it most needed it, so it never caught on. instead, microsoft bought macromedia, and every site is written with Microsoft Flash. CSS has XML syntax.
- steve jobs didn't rely on alternative medicine, so he succesfully beat cancer. because of him, every phone has the size of iPhone 4s, but bezels are tiny. everything that's bigger is called phablet, and big phones are not a thing. instead, web is "smaller" in size, every ui is more compact.
- wimax caught on and won the 4g war. 5g is called wimax 2.0.
- microsoft had more time to complete vista, and hardware manufacturers had more time to make faster chips. when vista came out, it wasn't buggy and was very fast. it acquired cult status like xp. because of it, windows 8 still had frutiger aero design.

Finished Napoleon Cat!

In the US, you can go to a gas station and buy a "Pink Pussycat" pill that claims to be a sexual pleasure enhancement pill for women. In reality, it's basically poison.

I've finally put two and two together about my mother and why she acted the way she did with me my whole life.

Since four years old, she told me again and again that I will be a programmer and "earn as much as Bill Gates". Then, in fifth grade, without asking me, she made me take regular programming classes I was really bad at. Then, again without asking me, she sent me to an experimental, highly intensive CS learning program in my uni that accepted kids two years before they finish the high school to throw a metric ton of math, C and hardware design at them. After a year there, I completely lost the ability to enjoy videogames (at 15 years old). By the end of the program (four years), I started experiencing bipolar symptoms.

Then, at the age of 19, she insisted that I take the first draft order and join the army. The military service in russia is mandatory, and it's notorious for breaking people no worse than russian prison does. Knowing that I'm weird and autistic (I was stacking things as a kid), and knowing that the army _loves_ breaking weird people to keep them in line, she just wanted to break me. For context, draft orders are sent out en masse, and everybody dodges them with no repercussions. When they're 28, they just pay a small "fee" (a bribe) to get the military id. You can't be conscripted after you're 28.

I don't know my father. I have a stepdad though. My mother and my stepdad had a kid, nine years younger than me, and of course he was loved by my stepdad way more than I was.

I can recount a lot of instances where she was cruel to me, but oh how subtle and passive-aggressive she made it to be. Also, when I was bullied at school, she insisted on not changing schools, but rather for me to man up.

Her plan was to make a highly paid but mentally broken drone that would be a strong, steady stream of money while she enjoys a "proper" family with her husband and a "proper" child.

It's so unfortunate that the bastard kid turned out to be bipolar, and that bipolar disorder resets one's entire worldview from time to time, nullifying two decades of conditioning, isn't it?

Dear woman I crawled out of, I'm either wrong or right. If I'm wrong, and you did all this (and waaay more of cruel and fucked up shit) to me without any strategy in mind, because you wanted to, then congrats, you're a psychopath. If I'm right, and it was all a strategy, then you knew what you did was wrong, and every single time you did it took a bit of your soul away from you, because that's what evil does. Given that your scheme failed, was it worth it in the end?

when I die, I want to be cremated, because I do NOT want fungi to enter my cranium and do something to my brain. It doesn't matter if it's dead or not. It once held "me", and I wholeheartedly believe that fungi can make it tick again, or extract "me" out of it to make me a part of them. Who knows what they do to people. Just imagine dying and waking up suspended in mucus while 36TET microtonal music plays.

- vaguely blonde
- stupid, npc face
- skinny fat
- sloth eyes, think Sid from Ice Age
- a fucking tester that likes unit tests in JS, especially Jest
- talks a lot, but every time she says something everyone just ignores it because there was almost no substance to what she said
- extremely annoying
- interacting with her would be the number one top level displeasure of your day, any day. A day when you wipe the entire prod db is a better day than the day you have to explain something to her

if you guessed jestdotty, you're wrong. that's just one of my ex-coworkers.

AI can take my job. I can't do this anymore.

Best of luck waking up 7 A.M on Mondays, logging in to work and telling in those 10 am scrum meetings “I’m still wOrking on the sAme tiCket as last friDay.”

Enjoy my job graybot.

I’m gonna go outside and remember what sunlight looks like. Maybe touch grass. Maybe grow crops. Maybe herd some cows. Idk. Might start a farm or might scream into the wind.

We have jestdotty, but where are chaidotty and mochadotty?

When Russians talk about someone who is still a part of their group but is shunned, they use the word нерукопожатный — literally “nonhandshakable”.

Tetris is an inventory management survival horror game

I’m so annoyed that the word “throwel” exist but doesn’t even mean a tactical shovel designed to be thrown.

All British inventions:
- were invented in a garage
- are still being built in a garage
- would've been better if they were built in a garage.

XSS attack means game over, and no httpOnly cookie is gonna save you. Here’s why:
1. I copy the exact html and css of your sign-up form, but make it send data to my server
2. I perform XSS that replaces page content with that malicious form
3. 99% of users think they should sign in again
4. Profit: I now have their login and password.

Have you ever proposed great ideas to the company, yet they were rejected time after time, only for some half-assed golden favorite boy to steal the show for you with their half-assed idea?

I mean, now I understand that once you've been long enough in the industry, you express a deep, long sigh at least once a day. Plus, it affects your mental health. Not giving a fuck and just working on yourself more and your personal projects is crucial.

If you want to make a passable UI, let chatgpt make it.
If you want to make a good UI, make it yourself.
If you want to make a great UI, test it in iOS Safari as you make it.

Remember when I told you that American idioms are always about the money? Well:
- Normal languages: “I’ll remember this”
- Americans: “It will live in my head rent-free”

Because of all the injustice done to a regular folk by the banks and megacorporations, as well as the parts of government that value those two higher than doing the right thing for the regular people, piracy is all but justified.

For me, piracy is the default option. When it comes to stuff made by a megacorp, the first thing I do is see if I can pirate that. I would argue that piracy should be the default option for everyone.

No, you're not depriving corpo staff/hires of their salaries by pirating. If a megacorp is not paying them, it's not your fault.

I only pay for content if I want to support the creators. I was pirating since I got my first computer, I do pirate right now, and I will pirate in the future. I will advocate for piracy.

I vibecoded ransomware that replaced files with their hashes instead of encrypting them and now Raytheon begs me to accept $12M ransom help

nee rule in office: if you are taking leave on a wfo day, you must come to work on wfh day in the same week. even if your whole team is working remotely.

wtf!?
I am being punished to take an emergency leave because i was in a er room taking breaths off an Oxygen cylinder?

what is the point of this rule? just day Directly that its 5 days a week. why even give a fake illusion of 3 days office

if i try to reject this rule, i need to take double leaves... leave on wfo as well on wfh day

i am tired of being in such an exploiting company. If only my country wasn't in the middle of war and I wasn't getting any worse in terms of health, i would have quit even without a job offer in hand

One day you'll go hiking and find a house built by no one. It will be then that you'll realize you can't go back home.

The typeface in this picture that still looks modern is 127 years old.

Fucking Bureaucracy

Petition to add a “🤡” reaction to LinkedIn.

Apple be like:
I RECEIVE: $700
YOU RECEIVE: a phone with USB 2.0 in 2025

My brain vehemently rejects every piece of knowledge related to inductance and inductors. Every time I try to learn something about those things, the knowledge just leaks out as if it was being erased by an external force. Oh how I want to understand how inductors work, but I can't!

mechanical keyboard proponents be talking about longevity... I never ever had a membrane keyboard fail on me. they're indestructible. but I had a mechanical keyboard with kailh red switches fail on me, and I had to constantly spray it with wd-40 to make it work again. ugh.

Asahi Linux on my Mac

Goodbye, Apple.

- The speaker that is giving a talk about the thing wears a beard, hand-spun linen pants and weilds a thinkpad
- Docs website is XHTML 1.0-compliant and features an extensive table of clients for the thing
- Most of those clients are dead
- Three most popular living ones are under GPL
- The thing itself was written in APL but was rewritten in Common Lisp
- Weird hotkeys and outdated conventions
- IRC chatrooms