“You have a Jira?”
“You need a Jira, first”
“Open a Jira”
“You need a Jira for that too”
“That Jira is on the wrong board, plus you need to email _this_ form first”
Jira, Jira, Jira-fucking-jira, AAAHHHHHHHHHHH, STOP!

My job appears to be nothing more than an abstraction layer around Jira. A leaky abstraction

I have come to an interesting realization. I am nothing more than an abstraction layer around Jira.

I am a huge proponent of unit testing, but damn it can be so fucking difficult at times!

I am a huge proponent of unit testing, but damn it can be so fucking difficult at times!

Mother’s Day, they day we must be perennial tech support. No questions asked!

Get out; Go buy a hotdog stand;

So an employee sent a nice email saying she is leaving the company and this is her last day.

Then for the next three days I get reply-to-all emails saying “nice to work with you”, etc.

A. Why the fuck reply to all, I don’t care
B. Her last day was two days ago, wtf? Why are you replying?
C. Person leaving send that shit bcc. Though perhaps this was their final, `fuck you` to us all!

Just a whole pile of idiots.

I need x

“Fill out this form and wait”

Just shoot me now 😔

sudo make me a cocktail

Recently started a new job and had a fellow employee find a 27" monitor for me. The monitor did not have an hdmi or usb3 cable to hook it up. I make a request to help desk for a new one where their response is:

HDMI cables are not standard equipment and must be approved by your manager.

Okay, I forwarded it to my manager and it still isn't approved. So it is day three of having this nice but blank monitor on my desk! Fuck it, ordering from Amazon.

All Terms of Services agreement changes, etc. need to be in GitHub. I don't want to reread the whole thing, where's the diff?

Limited or NO MEETINGS!

It amazes me how quickly give out their passwords. I ask for a person's user name and I swear at least 75% of the time they give me their password too!

Why do companies pile on the work in the Summer and have less in the Winter? I want to do shit in the Summer. Let's bust balls in the Winter when it's too damn cold to do anything!

Stop hunting. Open a hotdog stand!

VS Code, WTF is wrong with your tab stops?
I set to 2 and you still use 4.
I say use spaces for tabs and you still put tabs in my document.
Tab settings by doc type? Not existing or working.

Damn you!
Just work

$ npm init
Let's do this!

File > New > Project
Let's do this!!

It never fucking fails; you get in the zone, you have in your head where your at and need to be, your happy, and life calls in you. 😞

I just read this great line in the Google SRE book which I have experienced myself:

"Some of the most satisfying coding I’ve ever done was deleting thousands of lines of code at a time when it was no longer useful."

You find an almost perfect job match then realize it is 45 minutes away on a good day (while driving a 20 mph). Finding work can be *so* frustrating!

During my recent interview I was explaining what I liked about the company, going in to detail about how I respected the CIO as he, as a software engineer, ran his ops teams like he runs a development team.

When I got home I realized my story wasn't about the CIO of the company but about Benjamin Treynor Sloss, VP Google Engineering, founder of Google SRE.

I had been reading the Google SRE book the night before and completely mixed up my stories!

I wonder if it was in part why I didn't get the job...

I am getting really tired of companies who think they are "doing the DevOps" because they have a VM in AWS

Marketing naming you application, Talent Management Cloud! WTF does that even mean?

It's Saturday, I'm smoking ribs; an system alert just came in! It looks harmless, I'll let someone else look. Hey, I'm cooking ribs!

Any email I receive mentioning SharePoint is unsubscribe to and blocked. I should really setup a rule to do this for me automagically.

Confidence is code without tests is false confidence