This happen all the time ....

begging another team to fix the thing they own , that i am not familiar with, that i am being paged about

getting ghosted, baby!

Just had another developer tell the team that the requirements “contradicted” his implementation. I think, if you’ll let me check my fuckstick-to-English dictionary… yeah, that just means “I did it wrong and I don’t feel like fixing it.”

if null was the billion dollar mistake https://hackernoon.com/null-the-bil...

then what is javascript with null and undefined

Found this, when I browse through Twitter.

- Be bored.
- Open DevRant.
- Get bored again.
- Close DevRant.
- Get bored.
- Open DevRant.

It’s been so long since I’ve worked on anything cool 😭

I’m sorry

Hard pill to swallow:

If you get hired as a full stack dev and then complain that you're doing 3 people's (or more) jobs while getting paid for 1,

You had it coming.

Senior leadership: "We've had great feedback that these short, quick meetings are highly valuable, so we are going to make them longer."

My work day lately:
5% new code
95% figuring out how the old shi...code worked so I don't break everything

Friend: <tells me a joke>
Me: Hahahaha! That is so humerus!
Friend: It is spelled: humorous.
Me: Yeah, I really boned the spelling on that one.

Medium before:
How to perfectly manage a reactive server with 4 frameworks blindfolded

Medium now:
THAT'S WHY YOU SHOULD BE SCARED OF AI
AI WILL KILL US AND RAPE OUR WIVES
YOU ARE USING CHATGPT WRONG!!
DON'T WAIT AI TO STEAL YOUR JOB, KILL YOURSELF NOW

AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Why is my CSS not working?

*adds !important*

Ah much better.

Since we’re adding new backronyms every day, I propose SIMPLE.

S - Spaghetti: write tapestry of code like a chef.

I - Interlinked: if the project has modules, they should all depend on each other (we are strongest when we can depend on one another).

M - Micromanaged: if the product owner doesn’t expect reports in the daily stand-up, do they even care?

P - Perplex: diversity for the codebase.

L - Lazy: Bill Gates once said “I choose a lazy person to do a hard job, because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it”, for example, without testing, collaborating with team members, or ensuring the feature works with anything else in the codebase.

E - Opinionated: because I believe E should stand for opinionated and everyone else will have to work around this with adapters. But E should mean Opinionated because Uncle Bab said so.

I wrote test #1000 of a project at work today

yay

"Please disable AdBlock to view the content."

No. I'll just leave. Bye.

#devrant #joke #linkedin

Working at a big-ish tech is like a completely different world.

Do we even speak the same words?

Why can't you say agree like a normal person. Who the frig made "++" a real life word (is it a verb/noun? wtf is it)

and then all those other acronyms like OKR, P1,p2,p3

Who talks like that?

Saw a question on SO asking why foreach was slow with big data.

The code provided was 6 nested foreachs (basically a cartesian product between an array of arrays, and 4 other arrays).

Inside, a select query and an "update or create" operation.

"But why is foreach so slow?"

THE WERECODER IS A WILD WOLF 29 DAYS PER MONTH, WITH FLEAS AND TICKS AND EVERYTHING, THEN ON THE 30rd DAY WITH THE FULL MOON IT WILL SHED ITS FUR, GROW TWO THUMBS AND COMMIT TO MASTER

I don't know why I am a programmer. I went into engineering because I wanted to make video games. I did controls engineering to make physical systems go vroom. Now I mainly write software to make specialized physical systems go vroom. When I was a kid this was not what I would have wanted to do with my life. My 10 year old version of me is standing over me looking down saying "Pathetic". I feel like I need to do something about this before I die.

I want to make a game system for RPGs that is similar to an authoring tool to allow me to make games with some very specific features. Think creation kit for arbitrary RPG games. I am thinking I could make the authoring tool a product as well. If people want to make their own games. But I also want to make moddable RPG games using the authoring tool. I want to give people the ability to mod the game. So I am struggling with how to allow modding and sell an authoring tool. License to distribute unique games? I dunno, maybe I will just keep it as a modding tool for the games I make. I feel like good quality games are moddable. I hardly want to play anything that isn't.

Rust devs on social media are the vegans of the programming world.

Yeah, we get it, you like your hot new programming language. I'm not bashing the language, I've never used it so I'd have no right to say anything about it.

But holy hell, you guys don't have to show up in every discussion about programming languages that aren't Rust to evangelicize how great Rust is. Like damn, there could be a thread on Twitter about Python and you'd be like "yeah Python's great but have you ever heard of our lord and savior, Jesus cRUST?"

Just shut up lol.

Can't wait for AI's to reply with RTFM to our prompts

Intern: "Hey Awlex, this function I'm using doesn't work. Can you help me?"
Me: "This function doesn't do what you are expecting. Did you even look at the docs for this function?"
Intern: "No."
Me: "... then start with that"

Employer: so why do you want to join this organization?

Engineer: well like i said in the first 4 interviews, I love desks. Sitting behind them. Standing behind them.

Employer: are you a standing or sitting man?

Engineer: i like to sit in the morning and then switch up to stand at lunch.

Employer: a man with a plan. Very good. Do you remember anything from school?

Engineer: not a goddamn thing.

Employer: perfect. You don't need math. Just emails. You like emails?

Engineer: love emails.

Employer: there's gonna be a lot of emails.

Engineer: can't get enough emails.

Employer: perfect. Do you like a clear separation between life and work?

Engineer: oh not at all. I like it to muddy together in a never ending hell.

Employer: alright and you're familiar with work culture?

Engineer: oh those hours i work for free?

Employer: yes.

Engineer: I love that bullshit.

Employer: alright terrific. And are you familiar with the hate hierarchy?

Engineer: yeah the tech's hate the engineers, the engineers hate the tech's and the managers hate everyb-

Employer: everybody. Perfect. Alright I- honestly I think we'd like to make an offer.

Engineer: well, first I gotta leverage that with my current employer for a raise. And if they don't budge, I'll jump shut.

Employer: no loyalty at all?

Engineer: not at all.

Employer: you're hired.

You know that feeling

When you know far too little to even ask a question

Feeling that right now

Turkish coffee hittin strong today damn boi - *cracks neck* “hello people of EARTH, I’m here to solve all your problems 🤌🤌”

Time to fix these websites

To the cunts that build ‘news’ stories with an ad block every few paragraphs, but don’t define the space in which they sit so whilst you are reading the text will suddenly jump as the ad is loaded, this continues as you scroll down the page. Just fucking stop it!

senior: read the fucking development setup wiki

<senior proceeds to have problems>

somebody else tells them to read the fucking wiki

oh how the turn tables