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AboutC++ dev
Joined devRant on 7/19/2018
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begging another team to fix the thing they own , that i am not familiar with, that i am being paged about
getting ghosted, baby!3 -
Just had another developer tell the team that the requirements “contradicted” his implementation. I think, if you’ll let me check my fuckstick-to-English dictionary… yeah, that just means “I did it wrong and I don’t feel like fixing it.”2
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if null was the billion dollar mistake https://hackernoon.com/null-the-bil...
then what is javascript with null and undefined22 -
Hard pill to swallow:
If you get hired as a full stack dev and then complain that you're doing 3 people's (or more) jobs while getting paid for 1,
You had it coming.2 -
Senior leadership: "We've had great feedback that these short, quick meetings are highly valuable, so we are going to make them longer."4
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Medium before:
How to perfectly manage a reactive server with 4 frameworks blindfolded
Medium now:
THAT'S WHY YOU SHOULD BE SCARED OF AI
AI WILL KILL US AND RAPE OUR WIVES
YOU ARE USING CHATGPT WRONG!!
DON'T WAIT AI TO STEAL YOUR JOB, KILL YOURSELF NOW5 -
Since we’re adding new backronyms every day, I propose SIMPLE.
S - Spaghetti: write tapestry of code like a chef.
I - Interlinked: if the project has modules, they should all depend on each other (we are strongest when we can depend on one another).
M - Micromanaged: if the product owner doesn’t expect reports in the daily stand-up, do they even care?
P - Perplex: diversity for the codebase.
L - Lazy: Bill Gates once said “I choose a lazy person to do a hard job, because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it”, for example, without testing, collaborating with team members, or ensuring the feature works with anything else in the codebase.
E - Opinionated: because I believe E should stand for opinionated and everyone else will have to work around this with adapters. But E should mean Opinionated because Uncle Bab said so.6 -
Working at a big-ish tech is like a completely different world.
Do we even speak the same words?
Why can't you say agree like a normal person. Who the frig made "++" a real life word (is it a verb/noun? wtf is it)
and then all those other acronyms like OKR, P1,p2,p3
Who talks like that?6 -
Saw a question on SO asking why foreach was slow with big data.
The code provided was 6 nested foreachs (basically a cartesian product between an array of arrays, and 4 other arrays).
Inside, a select query and an "update or create" operation.
"But why is foreach so slow?"4 -
THE WERECODER IS A WILD WOLF 29 DAYS PER MONTH, WITH FLEAS AND TICKS AND EVERYTHING, THEN ON THE 30rd DAY WITH THE FULL MOON IT WILL SHED ITS FUR, GROW TWO THUMBS AND COMMIT TO MASTER6
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Rust devs on social media are the vegans of the programming world.
Yeah, we get it, you like your hot new programming language. I'm not bashing the language, I've never used it so I'd have no right to say anything about it.
But holy hell, you guys don't have to show up in every discussion about programming languages that aren't Rust to evangelicize how great Rust is. Like damn, there could be a thread on Twitter about Python and you'd be like "yeah Python's great but have you ever heard of our lord and savior, Jesus cRUST?"
Just shut up lol.9 -
Intern: "Hey Awlex, this function I'm using doesn't work. Can you help me?"
Me: "This function doesn't do what you are expecting. Did you even look at the docs for this function?"
Intern: "No."
Me: "... then start with that"8 -
Employer: so why do you want to join this organization?
Engineer: well like i said in the first 4 interviews, I love desks. Sitting behind them. Standing behind them.
Employer: are you a standing or sitting man?
Engineer: i like to sit in the morning and then switch up to stand at lunch.
Employer: a man with a plan. Very good. Do you remember anything from school?
Engineer: not a goddamn thing.
Employer: perfect. You don't need math. Just emails. You like emails?
Engineer: love emails.
Employer: there's gonna be a lot of emails.
Engineer: can't get enough emails.
Employer: perfect. Do you like a clear separation between life and work?
Engineer: oh not at all. I like it to muddy together in a never ending hell.
Employer: alright and you're familiar with work culture?
Engineer: oh those hours i work for free?
Employer: yes.
Engineer: I love that bullshit.
Employer: alright terrific. And are you familiar with the hate hierarchy?
Engineer: yeah the tech's hate the engineers, the engineers hate the tech's and the managers hate everyb-
Employer: everybody. Perfect. Alright I- honestly I think we'd like to make an offer.
Engineer: well, first I gotta leverage that with my current employer for a raise. And if they don't budge, I'll jump shut.
Employer: no loyalty at all?
Engineer: not at all.
Employer: you're hired.4 -
Turkish coffee hittin strong today damn boi - *cracks neck* “hello people of EARTH, I’m here to solve all your problems 🤌🤌”
Time to fix these websites2 -
To the cunts that build ‘news’ stories with an ad block every few paragraphs, but don’t define the space in which they sit so whilst you are reading the text will suddenly jump as the ad is loaded, this continues as you scroll down the page. Just fucking stop it!6
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senior: read the fucking development setup wiki
<senior proceeds to have problems>
somebody else tells them to read the fucking wiki
oh how the turn tables2 -
I spent three hours trying to find out why the server wasn't working properly and the issue was that the plugged in mouse was faulty (╯ಠロಠ）╯︵ ┻━┻5
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Manager: Have you fixed the problem?
Dev: What’s the problem?
Manager: We’re not here to discuss problems we’re here to discuss solutions!
Dev: …11
