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SkillsPHP, JavaScript, CSS, HTML
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LocationBrazil
Joined devRant on 8/16/2017
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Q: How to catch an Elephant in the Africa
MATHEMATICIANS: hunt elephants by going to Africa, throwing out everything that is not an elephant, and catching one of whatever is left.
EXPERIENCED MATHEMATICIANS: will attempt to prove the existence of at least one unique elephant before proceeding to step 1 as a subordinate exercise.
PROFESSORS OF MATHEMATICS: will prove the existence of at least one unique elephant and then leave the detection and capture of an actual elephant as an exercise for their graduate students.
COMPUTER SCIENTISTS: hunt elephants by exercising Algorithm A:
1. Go to Africa.
2. Start at the Cape of Good Hope.
3. Work northward in an orderly manner, traversing the continent alternately east and west.
4. During each traverse pass,
1. Catch each animal seen.
2. Compare each animal caught to a known elephant.
3. Stop when a match is detected.
EXPERIENCED COMPUTER PROGRAMMERS: modify Algorithm A by placing a known elephant in Cairo to ensure that the algorithm will terminate.
ASSEMBLY LANGUAGE PROGRAMMERS: prefer to execute Algorithm A on their hands and knees.
ENGINEERS: hunt elephants by going to Africa, catching gray animals at random, and stopping when any one of them weighs within plus or minus 15 percent of any previously observed elephant.
ECONOMISTS: don't hunt elephants, but they believe that if elephants are paid enough, they will hunt themselves.
STATISTICIANS: hunt the first animal they see N times and call it an elephant.
CONSULTANTS: don't hunt elephants, and many have never hunted anything at all, but they can be hired by the hour to advise those people who do.
OPERATIONS RESEARCH CONSULTANTS: can also measure the correlation of hat size and bullet color to the efficiency of elephant-hunting strategies, if someone else will only identify the elephants.
POLITICIANS: don't hunt elephants, but they will share the elephants you catch with the people who voted for them.
LAWYERS: don't hunt elephants, but they do follow the herds around arguing about who owns the droppings.
SOFTWARE LAWYERS: will claim that they own an entire herd based on the look and feel of one dropping.
VICE PRESIDENTS OF ENGINEERING, RESEARCH, AND DEVELOPMENT: try hard to hunt elephants, but their staffs are designed to prevent it. When the vice president does get to hunt elephants, the staff will try to ensure that all possible elephants are completely prehunted before the vice president sees them. If the vice president does happen to see a elephant, the staff will:
1. compliment the vice president's keen eyesight and
2. enlarge itself to prevent any recurrence.
SENIOR MANAGERS: set broad elephant-hunting policy based on the assumption that elephants are just like field mice, but with deeper voices.
QUALITY ASSURANCE INSPECTORS: ignore the elephants and look for mistakes the other hunters made when they were packing the jeep.
SALES PEOPLE: don't hunt elephants but spend their time selling elephants they haven't caught, for delivery two days before the season opens.
SOFTWARE SALES PEOPLE: ship the first thing they catch and write up an invoice for an elephant.
HARDWARE SALES PEOPLE: catch rabbits, paint them gray, and sell them as desktop elephants.9 -
When I code for myself I do all the naming in German only. Mainly because that's how I can see directly if that stupid mess is done by me or the framework.9
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!rant
console.info("devRant Stickers & stressballs order delivered successfully!");
alert("Thank you David & Tim for your fast delivery! The quality is great! :D");6 -
Fun fact: If you ever want to see the password you are typing or view the contents of a password field in a form, just pull up the web inspector. You can change the input type from "password" to "text" with no ill effects upon submission.
The lesson? When populating password fields, put junk values in there instead. Will present the right appearance, and doesn't risk exposing something that should be stored as a salted hash anyway.3 -
Warning: this is not a rant. I'm too happy and excited to rant right now.
Today I "finished" my first webpage!!!
Wohooo!
It's the blog I'll use. It's currently offline for obvious reasons but I intend to put it out there when I have more confidence on my skills and some content to put in it. I only used django, html and css, and I really dig the looks of it. My gf liked it so it can't be that ugly.
I still have a lot to learn with django, and I will add a thing or two to this
webpage but now I feel confident enough to make the backbone of my first real project : a platform to ease essay writing for history students. It's something simple for students to keep track of their essays thesis and ideas but also the bibliography they'll use and the thesis and ideas they think each text they read for the essay has. I intend later to extend the functionality so it can store all the texts the user has used in some useful and atractive manner so they can keep track of everything they've read, share it and use it for later works.
I'm so fucking excited I can't fucking sleep (it's 3 am right now).13 -
!rant
Quite the opposite of a Rant actually. Very good day today! Had pancakes to start the day, finally got a second monitor for only 5 bucks - it is so much easier to program with live change monitoring!
And, I finally got my very own server rack :) just wanted to share!10 -
Hello guys im observing since some time your rants.
Here are people which are quite experienced.
I want to start as Freelancer in Germany, mostly for Web development.
All of my Customers are looking for a neat looking, responsive and fast Website.
What should I use and what Templates/framework I could take as a blueprint for the future websites.
Any suggest are welcome!8 -
Unwritten devRant law #1:
if ($day === 'Friday') {
// add important words
$rant .= 'deploy';
$rant .= 'not';
}
print $rant;15 -
I love python, its the language I never really struggled a lot with yet also progressing so fast with it as a programmer!19
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Anyone has a spotify playlist I can listen to? I want to start coding again and so bored with the music I have now...4
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Sit down before you read this.
So I interviewed a guy for a "Support Engineer" internship position.
Me and the team lead sit down and are waiting for him to enter, but apparently he's actually making a coffee in the kitchen.
This isn't exactly a strike since the receptionist told him that he can go get a drink, and we did too. It's just always expected for him to get a glass of water, not waste 3 minutes brewing a coffee.
In any case he comes in, puts the coffee on the table, then his phone, then his wallet, then his keys and then sits on our side of the table.
I ask him to sit in front of us so we can see him. He takes a minute to pack and tranfer himself to the other side of the table. He again places all of the objects on the table.
We begin, team lead tells him about the company. Then I ask him whether he got any questions regarding the job, the team or the company . For the next 15 minutes he bombards us with mostly irrelevant and sometimes inappropriate questions, like:
0: Can I choose my own nickname when getting an email address?
1: Does the entire department get same salaries?
2: Are there yoga classes on Sundays only or every morning?
3: Will I get a car?
4: Does the firm support workspace equality? How many chicks are in the team?
5: I want the newest grey Mac.
And then.. Then the questions turn into demands:
6: I need a high salary (asks for 2.5 more than the job pays. Which is still a lot).
I ask him why would he get that at his first job in the industry (remind you, this is an internship and we are a relatively high paying company).
He says he's getting paid more at his current job.
His CV lists no current job and only indicates that he just finished studying.
He says that he's working at his parent's business...
Next he says that he is very talented and has to be promoted very quickly and that we need to teach him a lot and finance his courses.
At this point me and the team lead were barely holding our laughs.
The team lead asks him about his English (English is not our native language).
He replies "It's good, trust me".
Team lead invites him for an English conversation. Team lead acts like a customer with a broken internet and the guy is there to troubleshoot. (btw that's not job related, just a simple scenario)
TL: "Hello, my name is Andrew, I'm calli..."
Guy: *interrupts* "Yes, yes, hi! Hi! What do you want?"
TL: "Well, if you let me fi..."
Guy: "Ok! Talk!"
TL: "...inish... My internet is not working."
Guy: "Ok, *mimics tuning a V engine or cooking a soup* I fixed! *points at TL* now you say 'yes you fixed'".
Important to note that his English was horrible. Disregarding the accent he just genuinely does not know the language well.
Then he continiues with "See? Good English. Told you no need to check!".
After about half a minute of choking on out silent laughter I ask him how much Python experience he has (job lists a requirement of at least 1 year).
He replies "I'm very good at object oriented functional programming".
I ask again "But what is your experience? Did you ever take any courses? Do you have a git repository to show? Any side.."
*he interrupts again* "I only use Matlab!".
Team lead stands up and proceeds to shake his hand while saying "we will get back to you".
At last the guy says with a stupid smile on his face "You better hire me! Call me back tomorrow." Leaves TL hanging and walks away after packing his stuff into the pockets.
I was so shocked that I wasn't even angry.
We both laughed for the rest of the day though. It was probably the weirdest interview I took part at.35