A lesson from a former UX Designer to DevOps

READ THE FUCKING JOB DESCRIPTION WHEN APPLYING FOR A JOB. COMPANIES DON'T EVEN FUCKING KNOW WHAT THESE JOB TITLES ARE AND JUST MAKE IT FANCY

Oh crap

I wonder when there will be the first manufacturer to introduce the "cool" new notch design to normal screens. 🤔

Talking to my angry girlfriend is the hardest debugging process.
I can't even find out what went wrong

Who needs Kensington locks when you can tighten up those screws?

When the freshman comp sci major who thinks HTML is programming learns about the dev tools in browsers.

Sounds about fucking right!!!

"what's the update?" - Team Lead

For every fucking idiotic task given, every 3 hours, as if the world is gonna end, while all you did in that time was have a tea, chat for a while, send a few mails, sat with a few co workers and checked up on them.

And then he gives me all these "tricky issues", which are apparently critical, and demands updates with a higher frequency! Never sat with me to solve even one of them. Not one.

I never thought that I lacked the basic common sense to update you as soon as I fucking have one.

Ooh, also loop in the senior manager right before annual appraisal. There goes my hike!

So this just happened... This is a PR I just got, fucking lazy developers...

You know your company has SEO figured out if wikipedia is before your homepage on google..

I got accepted to CTU in Prague! (ČVUT)
Yay! 🎉🎉🎉

Got myself a new coding buddy today.
Everyone say hi to Popcorn! Meow 😸

Hold on, is it true that when you select something in windows (not sure about macos), go to any other program (and to an input box thingy) and press the middle mouse button, the selected text doesn't get placed there?!

Is that just a Linux (and possibly macos?) feature?!

I couldn't go without it 😍

try {
❤
} catch(e) {
🍺
}

Saying that Java is nice because it works on every OS is like saying that anal sex is nice because it works on every gender.

IF YOU WRITE IN A FORUM ABOUT A PROBLEM AND YOU SOLVED THE PROBLEM, TELL US THE FUCKING SOLUTION YOU MORRON! YOU TOOK THE EFFORT TO JUST WRITE "I SOLVED THE PROBLEM" WITHOUT WRITING A WORD ON HOW THE FUCK YOU DID IT. DO YOU THINK I READ THIS FUCKING TOPIC FOR FUN? I AM ONLY INTERESTED IN THE SOLUTION, I DON'T GIVE A SHIT IF YOU SOLVED IT OR NOT!!!

Pizza oriented architecture -> unikernels

Who the hell decided to put 'null' in JavaScript when there is already an 'undefined'
...😤😡...
Like one empty value isn't enough

Online ads....

I think the problem is that in the age of "AI" and "machine learning" etc etc - the reality is that targeted or personalised advertising is absolutely shite.

All I see when I browse around are ads for things that I bought. It's like - I FUCKING BOUGHT THIS WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO SELL IT TO ME??!

I think anyone worried about the machine uprising enslaving humanity can relax and not worry about it, at least until amazon can understand when it has sold you something or you just looked at something.

Friend: How much do you charge for a website?

Me: Depends, what do you need?

Friend: Just a basic website.

Me: I am going to need more details than that, is it static HTML site? Do you want to be able to add content yourself? Do you have hosting? Do you....

Friend: Dude, just give me a rough estimate.

Me: But...

Friend: It's for a friend, he has an idea for a business.

Me: ...fine...$100 million 👿

//Because making a website is just a push of a button to some people