Priorities.

Got scammed on devrant by sketchy cryptocoin recovery services? Like a total dumb ass you clicked a sketchy link? Did you suffer temporary retardation and believed a scammer?

You may be entitled to public humiliation! Contact our services (totally not sketchy AF) and get doxxed, reposted, and made to look like a complete fool! (Javascript devs excluded, they suffer enough just existing.)

1-800-dumb-fuk wtfuthinking@dumbass.git

A job description that looks like it was written by actual developers

This rings true even if the customer is internal. Built a feature and provided documentation on how to use it and one of the end users still used it wrong.

It was a simple validation process too. Input the member ID then click validate, the app then checks if the person is in the system and fills in some other fields and does some other backend stuff. How could you get that wrong?! 🤔

boss: “I’m conceiving a new policy for engineering. What do you think about these changes?”

me: “Looks good”

boss: “You hardly looked at it”

me: *looks for one second longer than I did last time* “Looks good”

boss: “Do you actually care about this?”

me: “Am I going to have to enforce this policy or interact with any aspect of what happens when it becomes official?”

boss: “No”

me: “Honestlly, man….I really don’t”.

boss: :( “Ok”.

🤷‍♀️

Isn't this too smart ?

This was in production for 3 years

the exceptional 9%

this image is fully authentic image of me as a single developer in a startup. All the used technologies in a single project.

Wow even in 2021 I still get notifications? I'm very flattered!! :)

I HATE this kind of popups

If Apple attempts this, the world would be split between Apple hate and fuck that's awesome (on the 5th edition)

If Google actually followed through with it, it would have changed the world.

But Facebook... Facebook can go fuck it's self for trying to introduce mass surveillance inside sunglasses.

https://about.facebook.com/realityl...

space>>>>>hell

What else is there to say...

If only you were as straight as you are now

User: We have been dealing with this bug for a month now! How come nobody has fixed it?

Dev: Who did notify about this issue?

User: You’re not listening we have been dealing with this for a MONTH!

Dev: When this issue first occurred did you tell anyone?

User: Yes!

Dev: Who?

User: …. Ok I don’t remember but I know I said something to someone. Anyway it doesn’t matter, your job is IT so how come this isn’t fixed?

Dev: Did you have an email? Ticket number? Teams message? Any record of where this was dropped?

User: I think you’re missing the point. We haven’t been able to do out jobs for A MONTH. We’ve just been sitting around completely helpless. We’ve been trying to figure a system using paper and pencil to replace the electronic one but it’s too complicated. How come this wasn’t fixed the second it happened?

Dev: It’s hard to respond to an issue if it’s not brought to out attention.

User: Ok but we are too busy to create a ticket! We have a million things to do and we can’t do any of them because your app doesn’t work! We’ve been sitting here telling each other how terrible this system is AND IT HAS BEEN A MONTH.

Dev: …. Yeah I got that

Did you solve the issue?

Some serious request

Who agrees and which editor do you use ?

This thing really got me laughing.

lol... Just happened to me yesterday... "Hi ..."

Me: there goes lunch...

The best motivation to quit Image Classification... x_x

Me: Scattering the whole place for paper and pen to jot things down.

Someone from the higher ups had received complaints that I don’t answer my phone enough.

My boss told them I wasn’t hired here to provide phone support.

I personally like to hold my compiler at gunpoint

This should not be called wisdom teeth, should be called stupid teeth
Mother fucker is growing perpendicular.

What fuck is wrong with you bro , grow upwards you dumb fuck!!

Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.

The truth is out now.

The Handover!

I am certainly not the master of QA