Well, I made a choice in life.

I'm going to stay and work in America after I graduate. In spite of all the shit talking I've done about its work ethics, benefits, politics, and culture.

This place is still home.

After trying out a trip to Europe for a few weeks I can't handle the idea of being 4,500 miles away from family and what few friends I have. I figured out what was true the whole time: I wanted to run away from my past. Breakups, a failed marriage proposal, a dead end job that I put up with only because I need to graduate. I've been angry and depressed over these things, but running away won't fix it.

I need to face reality and own up to it. I'll get a job as a developer in the states through hell or high-water.

My avatar has some catching up to do

Go big or go home.

Did anyone notice this?
Today's date is a palindrome: 8 10 2018
👻😍

Some empty-headed helpdesk girl skipped into our office yesterday afternoon, despite the big scary warning signs glued to the door.

"Hey, when I log in on my phone, the menu is looking weird"

"Uh... look at my beard"

"What"

"Just look at this beard!"

"Uh.... OK"

"Does this look like a perfectly groomed beard"

"Uh... it's pretty nice I guess"

"You don't have to lie"

She looks puzzled: "OK... maybe it could use a little trimming. Uh... a lot of trimming". "I still like it though" she adds, trying hard to be polite.

"I understand you just started working here. But the beard... the beard should make it clear. See the office opposite to this one?"

"Yeah"

"Perfectly groomed ginger beards. It's all stylish shawls and smiles and spinach smoothies. Those people are known as frontend developers, they care about pixels and menus. Now look at my beard. It is dark and wild, it has some gray stress hairs, and if you take a deep breath it smells like dust and cognac mixed with the tears caused by failed deploys. Nothing personal, but I don't give a fuck what a menu looks like on your phone."

She looked around, and noticed the other 2 tired looking guys with unshaven hobo chins. To her credit, she pointed at the woman in the corner: "What about her, she doesn't seem to have a beard"

Yulia, 1.9m long muscled database admin from Ukraine, lets out a heavy sigh. "I do not know you well enough yet to show you where I grow my unkempt graying hairs... . Now get lost divchyna."

Helpdesk girl leaves the scene.

Joanna, machine learning dev, walks in: "I saw a confused blonde lost in the hallway, did you give her the beard speech?"

"Yeah" -- couldn't hold back a giggle -- "haha now she'll come to you"

Joanna: "No I already took care of it"

"How?"

"She started about some stupid menu, so I just told her to smell my cup". Joanna, functional alcoholic, is holding her 4pm Irish coffee. "I think this living up to our stereotype tactic is working, because the girl laughed and nodded like she understood, and ran off to the design department"

Me: "I do miss shaving though"

When you read a t-shirt full of number you don't under stand

Is this not a ransomware in its own way?

Css is most definitely a woman who's mad at you but won't tell you why.

"What's wrong? what did I do? "

"Nothing..."

Some Romanian "Hacker" is trying to hack my forum xD

He tried to call the setup script for PhpMyAdmin, but I don't even have PhpMyAdmin installed because I use MongoDB xDDD

I'm lying on the floor laughing

*inhales*

OVER 3 BILLION DEVICES RUN JAVA

Listening to two girls argue about how thin their eyebrows are is what you deserve for forgetting your headphones at home

Started wearing USB sticks around my neck with thousands of dollars of bitcoin on them, feel like a baller

ERRORs are red,
INFOs are blue.
My logs look pretty,
But not as pretty as-
Wait, hold on. Why are there ERRORs in here?
Why is the homepage returning a 5- oh crap.
Can you just... Can you give me a minute?

Wife: what are you thinking about?

Me: how to optimize key storage in a binary tree

Wife: forget that I asked

Someday I'll click 'Yes', I just don't know when...

*problem*
Who's fault is it?

A) your fault

B) your fault

Scalability

Scalability

......

SAVAGE 😂😂😂

We could say I'm kind of a sticker man. (I got more unused in a bag, that's an addiction)

And yes, devrant stickers are on it, they are among the first I put on this door 😊

So this bunch of idiots made this huge iOS app using lots of global variables, lots of spaghetti code and basically no separation between logic and UI.
Another bunch of idiots were told to take that iOS app and basically port it to Android. And they ported that same code mess, almost line by line, and adding some weird shit.
Now the HQ of the first bunch of idiots realize that the second bunch of idiots were too slow/inefficient/whatever, and they're now asking US to solve that Android mess and add another shitload of features.
The worst part of it, is that both bunches of idiots are still working on it, so we're basically forced to follow the same shitty style until the first deadline, otherwise we'd die suffocated by stinky merge conflicts. Which will happen anyway because our changes are going to overlap.
Oh, and the PM refuses to understand the disaster coming and there's six hours of time zone difference.

Fuck this shit.

Report to who?

Developers clearly aren't the only ones struggling with proper naming!

Love my new s7 edge back cover. :D

That's what my manager calls innovative

Time spent creating an error response...

Implementing the response: 5%
Choosing the error message: 95%

Only pure devils can come with this

https://gist.github.com/aras-p/...

Fail to setup a printer on Windows and it's Microsoft's fault.
Fail to setup a printer on Linux and it's the user's fault.

correct..sir