I don’t know what’s worse:
1) The dev that whitelisted .jpg and throws an exception when .jpeg is used.
2) I’m having to educate business users how to rename a file.

For our 4 programming tasks we had to use Git. Which i fully support, except whenever one of my group members made a change she would commit min 8 times and the message would be "change". Even after mentioning to her that she should write What she changd she just changed it to: "change filename". I mean yeah, i can clearly see which file you changed but come on, WHAT in the file did you change. While doing this she also managed to overwrite my changes or completly delete my files forcing me to constantly restore shit 😐

As seen on Reddit.

Stop buying domains that you don't use you fucking idiots. Can't find any domain for my new project. But none of them are being used. Fucking retards.

Client: We have a HUGE security problem.

Me: *thinks about any possible vulnerabilities* What is it?

Client: A user can take a picture of our website and steal our content.

I’m done for today.

Anyone else like... REALLY bad at algorithms and logic stuff?

I just hate them so much.

Tell me to build something and gg done. But all these tests for jobs freak me out.

Like. It probably ends up being something simple and when it's explained I know what to do but at first I just instantly shut down and can't think.

When your boss learns how to use StackOverflow

I CANT PICK NAMES FOR ANYTHING UGH

I really don't know how to please StackOverflow people. I did my due diligence on a bit of code but, like we all do, I got stuck and needed a bit of advice. I posted clearly and concisely and still my question got downvoted twice. What do they want? For me to post the question AND the answer? Only ask Ph.D.-type questions? Why am I never good enough for these people?!

Email. Fuck everything about it.

It's an obnoxious queue of messages I somehow must handle. And everyone in society expects you to have email. You can cancel your phone number, maybe even live without a house... but every hobo still must check their email.

It is an endless shitstream of things I don't want. Like a garden with some nice tomato plants, but then a really smelly weed starts invading and no matter what you do it keeps coming back.

I don't want to login to unsubscribe. I don't care about your "notifications center", or "managing the offers you receive from us".

And then your boss asks you to design an email campaign... I don't want to receive that shit, why would our customers? And even if I agreed with using email as a communication channel... YOU THOUGHT CSS IN INTERNET EXPLORER WAS A BITCH?

No really. Fuck email. Fuck everything about it.

Finally a guide for understanding if you should use WordPress for your website

Recruiter: Hi! I'm a recruiter, and you have a position similar to jobs I'm trying to fill. What are you doing at your current company right now?

Me: Uhm. Working?

Recruiter: Oh! What would make a good candidate for positions like yours?

Me: Uhm. A dedicated employee?

Fixed this assholes phone for her... she proceeds to take the phone and say “thanks for fixing it, it was kind of you to do it for free!”

Uhm, ex-fucking-cuse me?! I run a business, not a god damned charity.

She got me my fucking money.

If only we had this. iWater = iLife

Senior Dev: "Be mindful of what you email to the team, some may be rubbed the wrong way."

Me: "I'm going on a year, I figured it was okay to send a meme when appropriate like [the other guy]."

Senior Dev: "Well, [the other guy] has been here for 17 years, so it's sort of expected from him."

Me: "You know what would be weird? If I was here for 17 more years and then 'started' having fun with the team."

Senior Dev: "Yes, but [the other guy] is the only one doing his particular job, which makes him important, so he tends to get away with more."

Me: "No, I get it. If you're a linchpin you can reply with cat memes, but people like me need to mind their place."

Senior Dev: "It's an uncomfortable conversation, but it's all bureaucracy."

Me: "Duly noted. But could you please forward me the specific email I sent that caused the concern?"

Senior Dev: "I'm not sure what the exact email was, when it was sent, or specifically whom it offended."

Me: "Okay, because that would be like me walking up to you and saying that you have a problem that needs to be fixed, but I don't know what your problem is or why it needs to be addressed."

Senior Dev: "You're right, but just be mindful of the emails you send outside of the group."

Me: "I've never group-emailed anything outside of the team."

Senior Dev: "Well, I'll let you get back to work..."

[FML!] 🤦‍♂️

Look what I found! I love these kinds of gems popping up occassionally. This was Netflix. Btw, quality show there

Fuck I can't even. Remember all those rants (mine included) about how users are quite retarded and only report "omg smth wrong, help" without any explanaition or screen shot, or even worse WITH A WORTHLESS CROPPED OUT SCREENSHOT?!

USERS I GET, BUT FUCKING SENIOR DESKTOP SUPPORT GUY DOING SAME RETARDED IT DOES NOT WORK CAN U HELP THING IS MADDENNNNIINNGG

LEARN TO FUCKING READ THE FUCKING INSTRUCTIONS IN THE FUCKING ERROR DESCRIPTION, YES?

*Ahhh* 😄

FUCK EVERY PAGE THAT DOES NOT STRIP CLEAR TEXT INPUTS LIKE EMAIL AND USERNAME.

FFS WE LIVE IN A TIME WHERE YOU JUST HAVE TO APPEND ".strip()" TO ACHIEVE THAT

This fucking call is still going, and this asshat who should know how to do SIMPLE FUCKING COMMANDS LIKE MV AND CP is having a hell of a time and I'm about ready to throw my arm at him because I ok hurt like hell and hopefully knock some sense into his brain.

the xfce term is forever gonna be one of my favs

I want to start a new website that I can use as a hub for all my side projects.

Will double as a portfolio site but mostly it will just let me share my ideas with friends.

Always use an editor with color syntax highlighting. About 20 years ago I spent 3 days and nights debugging something that was a simple typo error. Since then I always use an editor with color syntax highlighting.

The less code you write, the less code there is that can break.

A proof that @Microsoft is better than @Apple

My favorite client just brought in a new team member who thinks he's god's gift to web development and design. Every week he gives me a long list of things he thinks are wrong with the website.

Now he's cloning pages of the site and adding hideously distorted images and excel screenshots of information matrices formatted the way he wants them. And he wants them published as he has made them because his ideas are obviously the best ones! (guess who he voted for)

He also claims that nobody can figure out how to purchase anything on the site, including him! Even after I've made it so you'd have to be frickin' Helen Keller not to be able to stumble over a BIG FAT BUY NOW BUTTON literally everywhere you look because this site is for geriatric senile MORONS who can't click their way out of a paper bag!!!

A liitle upset..
Didn't get hired :(

[INTERNSHIP]

Day01: Tell us about websites to follow to "stay updated about new TECH"!

Day02: Literally said "I don't know what the latest version of Visual Studio is, but v.2013 had XYZ features".

Really?!?!

Never do something​ technical for free. You end up being treated as the responsible person for batteries even if your actual profession is web development.

Remember to eat.

Variable names DO matter.