Too many clients watch one or two development videos on Youtube to then 'school' me on how to fix bugs... if you're such an awesome dev, why hire me? :)

Newton's 4th law :
Bugs can neither be created nor be removed from software by a developer. It can only be converted from one form to another. The total number of bugs in the software always remains constant.

Angelina Lee's resume
Ultra succesful, got spammed by recruiters constantly

Best joke in physics😂

Not me, but a friend of mines' first day on the job.

And then that girl became my Manager......

i guess I'm just a lucky idiot, because i keep getting the first spot i sign up for

Do it for me Bitch🤖

Last day at $JOB.

I rickrolled the entire company.

GG

Apple legacy recovery...

May I please have a crumb of ++ ?
Need some ++s to unlock the avatar creator

Programmers life

And people complain I am rude to them......

My boss wanted to hide the web application source code from the browser dev tools, he wanted to force the clients to use an electron portal for the application and block the access from any other browser.

Senior Management: We are severely disappointed in the timeliness of the two apps you built this year. You had budgeted 3 months for one and it took 4 months and the other was budgeted to take 4 months and took 5 months. We understand that we doubled the requirements halfway through and but that doesn’t take away from our need for you to deliver on time. We provided you with two extra devs on the project! We know they were novices and you had to train them from the ground up during the project, that doesn’t matter. The extra resources should have helped you but your lack of leadership ability is what caused them to hold you back. We know our other team with a budget of 6 months took 2 years on their project and was still unsuccessful but that is a different scenario! That was a pre-built 3rd party ERP plugin, way more complicated and nuanced than simply building and deploying something from scratch. Yes we’re aware your projects were the only successful tech projects at the company this year, that’s just luck and coincidence. The next app we need you to build in 6 months, no questions asked. It needs to consolidate and tie together our 3 different ERPs. Everything that we need out of these products that they don’t do out of the box we need you to wire up. We will decide the exact requirements in a month or so, for now just get started. Yes your apps changed the way we do business and allowed us to complete projects smoother than ever before while saving millions of dollars in wasteful and archaic processes that is OLD NEWS. Stop bringing it up. The successes of yesterday are the status quo of today. Don’t expect any new resources either, you clearly can’t handle them. You will now be giving status updates to 3 different managers as a corrective action to your missed deadlines in order to ensure the timeliness of future deliverables.

Dev: …

That's it. I'm done. I'm out. Tired of a team and manager who refuse to make me feel like part of the team.

Officially started looking for a new job today.

🤞

Every time I interact with this DBA he treats me like I’m some fucking moron who barely knows what a query is. It doesn’t help that I can’t get him to understand a damned fucking thing, no matter what the topic is. We speak the same language, supposedly, but can barely communicate. I can’t even begin describe how his half of the conversations go because I am unable to follow much of it.

Maybe if I start aligning my fucking chakras and channeling my inner goddamn cosmic peace energy, or whatever it is he’s on about, he might start making more sense? I swear he’s been so high so often that he’s never quite come down.

There’s obviously a language barrier, somehow, but the guy is also such a douche every freaking time. Ugh.

Finally got myself a Lytro Illum!
I,v been wanting to buy one since it came out but the company who made it closed down in 2015..
Thoose fuckers just thrown everything in the trash and set it on fire, software, firmware, mobile app etc.. no open source, no archives, your expensive camera is now a paper weight! You’r welcome!
So i got myself a new hobby, started reverse-engineering the fuck out of it, luckily it’s based on android (api17), i have adb and it’s running a hidden DHCP server too so it’s coming along nicely :D
I’m planning to make a camera control mobile app for it and maybe some faster image processing, wifi sharing etc..
I love beeing in home office :D

Programmer move

Fells nothing less than magician, especially when windows user stares at ur screen 😎

It’s not a bug, it’s a feature.

Editor? VSCode.
IDE? IntelliJ.
Hotel? Trivago.

Favourite code editor?
Hands down, it’s actually Vim.

It’s mostly because I haven’t been able to exit it though. Actually it’s the only reason. I’m stuck. Someone please send help.

Depends. No one took for the job. VSCode is really good for web and Python. I use Visual Studio for c#, c++ and c. Jetbrains for Java stuff, including Android studio.

When writing SQL I usually use vendor-provided editors like MySQL Workbench. They're the tool made for the job.

Visual Studio Code is my generic editor thanks to it's easy-access terminal. Makes running anything a breeze.

It doesn't feel as snappy as other editors though and installing plugins just for intellisense to work can be annoying, which is why I use other tools for other workflows.

Generally, I avoid things like vim. Sorry, but I have a mouse AND a keyboard. Paid for em both, and I intend to use em. Sometimes I wanna find a setting in a menu and not fuck around with config files after googling what the right setting is called.

I used Sublime for a while, but never really got too into it. It's okay.

Frontend & backend dev conversation

Backend Dev: what will you be working on?
Frontend dev: i will be creating a nice animated loader. You?
Backend Dev: i will be working on optimizing the backend so that no one can see your loader.

🤣🤣🤣🤣

I GOT A JOB OFFER!!! IM OUT OF THIS FUCKING HELLHOLE!!!

🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕

yh

Me: Why are all the devs leaving work early!?

Other devs: Microsoft Services are down.

Me: Okay I'll start packing.

Finally getting some upgrades for our office workstations!!
My work-pc still rocks 3rd gen core i7 with -40% performance loss because of spectre/meltdown patches and 1600 mhz ram. Its been a huge pain in the ass. Building unreal engine from source literally takes a day, while on my home Ryzen 5 it takes an our.
Ryzen 7/9 babyyy!!!
(I might even be able to talk them into a threadripper, wish me luck 😀)

Docs!