To the cunt who named himself "Uncaught ReferenceError: username is not defined":
Sincerely, fuck you.

_this = this
that = this
myThis = this
theThis= this
outerThis = this
firstThis = this
rootThis = this

OnePlus 6T - We have 10 GB RAM
Raspberry PI - Hold My Beer 🍺

This shit is real.

Guy comes to my desk.
Guy: Do you know Python?
Me: Yes
Guy: I want a program that reads a CSV containing IP addresses and tells which of them are valid.
Me: Sure thing. Show me the CSV file.
Guy: (Shows the file)
Me: (Writes a small function for checking whether the IP is valid)
Me: Done Here you go.
Guy: You should be using regex.
Me: Why? This is perfect. No need for regex.
Guy: My manager wants a solution using regex only.
Me: Why so?
Guy: I don't know. Can you do it using regex?
Me: Only if you say so. (Stackoverflow. Writes a humongous regex). Done!
Me: Just for curiosity, what is your application?
Guy: I will port it in Java. You see, regex is easy to debug.
Me: Ohhh Yes. I forgot that. Good luck with your regex.

😂😂😂😂

It's never a good sign when a team lead writes code like this

Impressive how the ublock community keeps coming up with more and more tricks against the facebook sponsored posts

https://github.com/uBlockOrigin/...

https://mobile.twitter.com/WolfieCh...

This is how you'd imagine a sysadmin.

(Stolen from Reddit)

Decided to upgrade my hardware a day after wk119 ends. Oof. I'll post an update once the first part (monitors) arrives, but here's a before pic in the meantime.

Monitors: 3 different brands at 3 different sizes/resolutions. Left to right: 1920x1080, 1680x1050, 1440x900.

Mic: Neewer NW-800 with a U-PHORIA UMC22 interface.

Keyboard: A DIY Nyquist kit from keeb.io with Canvas XDA keycaps.

Rubber duck: I prefer a fuzzy kitten.

Fun fact: Michael Widenius named "MySQL" after his daughter My. When MySQL was acquired by sun, he decided to start a new open source database, "MariaDB", named after his second daughter Maria.

This guy is (partially) responsible for two of the largest databasesystems in the world.

Imagine his daughters apply for a database engineering job one day. During application process: "One of the largest databases in the world was named after me..." 😂

Go big or go home.

This guy

Another attempt at trying to get support for weakening encryption recently.

An FBI spokesperson said something like 'we can put people on the moon, why can't we just create law enforcement-accessible encryption? i just don't buy it."

Fuck off and die.

I've taken my Dev rant over to Linked in. Fuck you recruiters!

Friend(non dev): Hey. Do you know how much it costs to maintain an app?

Me : Well that depends. What are you planning to do?

Friend: Something like Trivago. But small.

Me: That still doesn't tell me anything

Friend: Come on. Just give a number. How hard can it be?

Me: 42. *facepalm*

Friend: See wasn't that hard. Was it?

Me: *thinking* Don't correct him. Just let him be.

I am not expert but what kind of UX writing is this.
Do they think this is cool ?

So, eventually they understood a lot of SO users are assholes. 😁

Sure! I'll choose a job because of the free ice cream!

Are you fucking kidding me?

Friday morning, taking a sip of coffee reading mails. (nb: I started the job on Monday, and this is my very first job excepted internship)
*wild manager appears* : come with with me a second.
Me: wtf is that
Him: close the door
Me: shit what did I do
Him: so we're closing this really big deal with a big client/investor
Me: ok cool, what is the point to tell me that ?
Him: remember when we discussed your salary and we couldn't afford to hire you as high as you wanted ?
Me:... Yes ?
Him: well now we can
Me, starting to understand: ... And ?
Him: well your new salary is higher than what you asked in interview

And that's how I got a 8% raise after 4 days at my first job :')

lol ok

*i am a teenager*

*i don't have credit card*

*can't buy anything*

*sees unixstickers is $1*

*pulls out a dollar from physical wallet*

*throws in the air*

*cries*

I've always just done CSS on my own by hand for every project because I thought it would improve my skills over time but now I've discovered Bulma with it's sass variables and responsiveness and things are just so pretty now, I never want to go back

*Mom shows me laptop ad of 3000 bucks with the most overkill specs ever*

Mom: "Son, will this laptop run Google?"

Me: "Do you want to surf Google or actually run Google's server?"

Mom: *looks confused*

"I also want to use Fesabook on it"

Me: *brings her a 5 year old laptop with a new ssd in it*

*has an old i3, 8gb ram and no gpu*

Mom: "This laptop is super fast! Thanks son!"

*One hour later*

*Mom calls*

"Son, I think the laptop broke"

Me: "What? What happened?"

Mom: "I pressed a button and now all the keys are lighting red" (backlit keyboard)

Me: "You can choose the color of your keyboard mom"

Mom: "Ooh! How do I make it pink?"

Me: "You can only choose between red and blue..."

Mom: "What a ripoff"

*Hangs up the phone*

Friend: *deletes something from the internet*
"Thank god, now it's gone forever!"

Me: *Laughs in French*
"Hahahaha!"

Friend: "What?"

Me: "No, I'm pretty sure almost everything you put on the internet stays on the internet."

Friend: "ARE YOU STUPID??! The button says fucking DELETE. What else would it to do? Please use your brain for once."

Me: "You realize that text in the button is just a string right?"

Friend: *Looks confused*
"Stop trying to be such a smartass. Why would it be called 'delete' if it doesn't delete? Your logic make no sense whatsoever."

Me: *Makes quick simple app in order to prove my point*

App has 4 buttons:

-Play Music: Shows a picture of a dog

-Stop Music: Starts playing music video of Never gonna give you up

-Close App: Changes the interface to a random color

-Delete App: Pop up that says "The app has been deleted"

Friend: *Installs and tries the app*
"Dude! Did you even test your app before sending me?? Your buttons are broken as hell. None of them works. They all do things they're not supposed to do. How do you even call yourself a programmer? Sorry dude, nothing personal but this app sucks."

Me: *I need a new friend*
*sigh*

FUCKING. CENTER. IT.

Ladies and Gentlemen,

I present you the API I'm working with...

That's a pretty fucking useful error description right there.

Internet down at work

Her: What's source control?

Me: Explain

Her: Why do we need that? I don't see a purpose

They finally arrived!! Thanks devRant team!! Thank you :)

Talking to my angry girlfriend is the hardest debugging process.
I can't even find out what went wrong