This thing really got me laughing.

Risk I took was calculated

Its March 3rd and I'm already at 858 contributions for the year 🤯

LinkedIn for developers is the exact opposite of Tinder for developers:

Tons of young, attractive women send you messages you ignore.

It’s actually pretty neat. I constantly suffer from impostor syndrome, so I always have keep learning to keep up the facade.

I fucking hate frontend

......

The best thing about boolean is that even if you are wrong, you are only wrong by a bit.

This never gets old...

*food comes in at work today*
Fellow engineer: yum yum yum!
Me: apt apt apt!
All engineers: 😑

😅

Today I learned:

`/usr` stands for “universal system resources” not “user”

`/dev` stands for “device” not “development”

Had no idea.

Thanks @dfox for adding the double tap to upvote feature, I mean, bug. You're a saint

try {
♥️
}
catch(e) {
🍺
}

#happyvalentinesday

Dev: Microsoft is shit

VS Code: (ಥ⌣ಥ)

Dev: Oh not you dear! You're not like the other guys

VS Code: (｡◕‿◕｡)

Dude! We have toilets on each floor. Why do you push shit on git?

Yesterday, my employer promoted me to lead web developer.

I’m still the only web developer.

Some empty-headed helpdesk girl skipped into our office yesterday afternoon, despite the big scary warning signs glued to the door.

"Hey, when I log in on my phone, the menu is looking weird"

"Uh... look at my beard"

"What"

"Just look at this beard!"

"Uh.... OK"

"Does this look like a perfectly groomed beard"

"Uh... it's pretty nice I guess"

"You don't have to lie"

She looks puzzled: "OK... maybe it could use a little trimming. Uh... a lot of trimming". "I still like it though" she adds, trying hard to be polite.

"I understand you just started working here. But the beard... the beard should make it clear. See the office opposite to this one?"

"Yeah"

"Perfectly groomed ginger beards. It's all stylish shawls and smiles and spinach smoothies. Those people are known as frontend developers, they care about pixels and menus. Now look at my beard. It is dark and wild, it has some gray stress hairs, and if you take a deep breath it smells like dust and cognac mixed with the tears caused by failed deploys. Nothing personal, but I don't give a fuck what a menu looks like on your phone."

She looked around, and noticed the other 2 tired looking guys with unshaven hobo chins. To her credit, she pointed at the woman in the corner: "What about her, she doesn't seem to have a beard"

Yulia, 1.9m long muscled database admin from Ukraine, lets out a heavy sigh. "I do not know you well enough yet to show you where I grow my unkempt graying hairs... . Now get lost divchyna."

Helpdesk girl leaves the scene.

Joanna, machine learning dev, walks in: "I saw a confused blonde lost in the hallway, did you give her the beard speech?"

"Yeah" -- couldn't hold back a giggle -- "haha now she'll come to you"

Joanna: "No I already took care of it"

"How?"

"She started about some stupid menu, so I just told her to smell my cup". Joanna, functional alcoholic, is holding her 4pm Irish coffee. "I think this living up to our stereotype tactic is working, because the girl laughed and nodded like she understood, and ran off to the design department"

Me: "I do miss shaving though"

Unless production is on fire, usage of @here and @channel should be peer-reviewed

Fibonacci soup.

I can now put docker in my resume finally 😁🔥

Why did I choose to be a web dev?

I didn't. That's the first job I found, and I didn't wanna starve

I know, a rant about Mac vs Windows is nor fun nor original anymore.

But really, I restarted more times my Windows PC in one morning than my Mac in one year.

What should I do, while waiting for the n-th restart?

Re-fuck you.

Not sure if its a "we are funny company" or a misstake.

How is IDE A skill?

Soo apt.

Just went through my first week of working while on chemo. Life is hell and I'm contemplating not being a part of it anymore. It's only going to get worse and worse.

Few days back it was just a meme but now it's a sad reality. About to cry now.

I'm so used to camel casing variable names that when I wasn't concentrating properly just now I called a variable "outPut"

Several minutes waiting for site to work after clicking on "required cookies only". Is this really what privacy laws were aiming for?

I live a double life as a programmer where I write Javascript during the day for work, and C during the night for fun (or to fight crime).