When you release​ something you expect will fade into obscurity and it gets over 4k downloads in 2 months...

Here in our company when you are about to do something really hard or say something clever you get to wear this hat!

What?!?

There is an ^= operator in Java for booleans. I have been programming in Java for 4 years now and never knew this. Like b ^= true will flip b.

Mind blown; this is the greatest thing ever

I'm sure most PHP peeps have come across the "Faker" library, which generates a plethora of random content for you.

Let this be a warning to you.

Today I used their "realText()" (see: https://github.com/fzaninotto/...) method when seeding a database for a client, which, oddly enough, generates text using real words.

The client wasn't too impressed and asked me why I would type in "So she began nursing her fat again" as a sample Faq. It required an email and call to the client to explain it was all auto generated text and I didn't type anything myself.

Should probably just use their basic lipsum text methods next to generate some gibberish :)

I feel like people don't understand what I mean when I say "I'm a console gamer"

This is how every app should start...

Part of the new hire process was all salaried employees had to work all hourly position jobs for a day (over a several week period, not all in one day) to really understand what we do.

I once hazed a new network admin who was working in the call center and I sent his station a pop-up message:
“Ha! Fire me will you!! I planted this virus and if you don’t enter the password in 60 seconds I will erase the database.” The pop-up had a counter counting down from 60.

This was over the lunch hour, so all the supervisors and managers were away and ‘Mark’ in a panic ran into our office (I was hiding under my desk)

Mark: GUYS!!...GUYS!!!....OMG!….Where the frack is everybody?!!!”

He runs out.

I peek out the door window and about a second later he’s running down the hall with one of the vice presidents. Mark shows the VP the message, VP looks over at our office, sees me…laughs and walks back to his office (not saying much to Mark).

Mark not knowing what’s going on watches the counter…3...2…1….
”Just kidding. Welcome to the company!”

Ahhh…the repeated sounds of “You son of a -bleep-!!” never sounded so sweet.

The week before project deadline...

When the burndown chart looks just right 👌🏼

Debugging...

I think I laught too much about this!

Just found this in some website code.

Purchase made.

Settings done right!

Found this in our codebase, apparently one of my co-workers had written this

Thanks to alistairkb for showing this theme, now I can hack in style 😎

Dear Clients,

if you really think what I do has so little value that you won’t pay for it, why on earth would you think it was going to help your business in any way? It’s clearly not worth it. How can it have a positive impact?

- Your Unpaid Developer

Not only in my work, but in my life.

My biggest inspiration is the popcorn seller that patiently stays outside the subway exit, standing, every fucking day, from 4-5pm until 0-2am.

He stays until after the subway closes, and only leaves after everyone waiting for their Uber or their ride do.

In the rainiest day of the year, he was there.
In the coldest day of the year, he was there.
In the worst crisis of our country in the last decades, the region became temporarily infested by bandits and beggars. Sometimes I had to work overtime until 11:30pm and I had to be very cautious with all the robbers in the empty dark street. But guess who was there, sometimes calmly saying "get out, go work" to the bad elements bothering him?

I find it reallybfunny and refreshing when everyone is inside waiting for the rain to settle down, while he is standing in the middle of it. Or when I'm coming home really late, and he is still out there freezing cold.
There is no excuse for not doing your best. Life sucks sometimes, but there are no excuses. Just work hard, and laugh at the bad times.
Every time I saw him there, I thought "my day was hard, but I could've worked even harder". At the same time he made me feel better for having a better job, he inspired me not to bitch about any little things.

Then you might ask: "isn't he dumb to stay until 2am even though he is probably not getting any costumers after 11pm?" or "how can someone so unsuccessful be so inspiring?"

Well, I don't know. He just is.
Do almighty, genious people like Steve Jobs inspire me at work? Of course. More than this man? Certainly not.

// Not a rant.
A while ago I saw the community projects page, and I thought it'd be cool to create a wrapper for devRant in Java. A bit later now, and I'm quite happy with how it turned out. If you're interested, please check it out: https://github.com/LucaScorpion/...
Feedback is always appreciated!

A young guy I work with burst into tears today, I had no idea what happened so I tried to comfort him and ask what was up.

It appears his main client had gone nuts with him because they wanted him to make an internet toolbar (think Ask.com) and he politely informed them toolbars doesn't really exist anymore and it wouldn't work on things like modern browsers or mobile devices.

Being given a polite but honest opinion was obviously something the client wasn't used to and knowing the guy was a young and fairly inexperienced, they started throwing very personal insults and asking him exactly what he knows about things (a lot more than them).

So being the big, bold, handsome senior developer I am, I immediately phoned the client back and told them to either come speak to me face-to-face and apologise to him in person or we'd terminate there contract with immediate effect. They're coming down tomorrow...

So part my rant, part a rant on behalf of a young developer who did nothing wrong and was treated like shit, I think we've all been there.

We'll see how this goes! Who the hell wants a toolbar anyway?!

I coded a little js plugin to create a calendar from a given year and month.

What do you guys think? Do you like it?

I'm thinking of extract it from the project and make it open sourced :)

About to order my personalized registration plate - no more toll fee's for me (I hope) :-)

Whenever you're feeling like a fraud and you think you're not good enough.

When my neighbor forgets to lock his computer, I append this to his bashrc

alias cd='cd $(ls -d */ | sort -R | head -1) && echo'

The amount of dutch people on devRant around this time is crazy.

Let yourself be heard!

Dutch Devrant Dudes and Dudettes

One of the project manager came to one of our senior pro developer to say something. Before he even said anything the senior dev said:

Oh Fuck, not you again!

The pm politely left the area

note to self: do not use super glue on your keyboard

note to self part two: do not listen to the internet and use nail polish remover to get super glue off your keyboard

Remember this !

stop the wizard!

Tonight, I had the pleasure of being challenged to make a virus for a VM over at the awesome "virus aquarium": computernewb.com

I present to you the Eevee fork/bomb.
Tonight, was the first night where I've ever sat down and programmed in VBS. I had a lot of fun doing it too. Right now I'm aiming at corrupting taskkill, tskill, and shutdown for good measure. These are a few of the things that my buddy has pulled on me that has made it difficult for me to continue moving forward.

The other part is to create seperate .exe files that would run my the necessary script. Each of these .exe files will be unique such that it's more difficult to shut all of them down at once.

Despite the fact that this thing will quite literally break your computer, it's fun being challenged to think outside of the box. Quite literally. I've always been careful about what things I touched on a PC, but tonight was fun because I was basically unchained and allowed to run rampant.

As a computer geek I think it's good to let out your inner demon and see what havoc one could wreak.

rant(){
So, yesterday I was explaining one of our sales guys why I wouldn't be able to finish a task for his client, since I had passed the last days recovering from a major db breakdown, and had plenty of work on wait before I could get to what he asked.
The prick goes and tells my PM he's about to loose the business because of me, and screws all my timetable for the week...
What should I do to make sure he never messes with devs anymore?
}