I got fired from my first real dev job after two weeks for working to slow... If anyone wants to help me look for my self-esteem, pick up a shovel and start diggin'.

A story

Me: "The code is great!"
Narrator: "The code was not great."

The end.

I just got a job offer for building a blockchain-based advertising platform. What?

Anyone here who knows stuff about Xenix. Would it be possible for Microsoft or any other party to build a modern operating system with it? Just theoretically.

I created a GitHub account yesterday, fight me.

Me: *Watching a movie*

Main Character: "Oh no, we have to hack the CIA to figure out how this machine works! Hacker girl, do the stuff"

Hacker Girl: "Consider it done!"

Hacker Girl: *Opens Linux bash*

Hacker Girl: *types 'mkdir Hack_CIA'

Hacker Girl: "They have two-factor authentication in place, this is going to be a hard one."

Hacker Girl: *Types 'cd Hack_CIA'*

Hacker Girl: "I'm in!"

Me: "..."

Friend: "Wow, so well done, so realistic!"

Me: *Dies*

Mom: You should do stuff with blockchain.

Me: Why, I don't believe in blockchain on the long run.

Mom: You should start believing in blockchain and you should start using it for all your stuff.

Me: Mom, i really appreciate that you are trying to help, but why are you saying this? My projects have zero to do with blockchain.

Mom: Blockchain is the future, because the media said so.

Me:...

Currently watching the 24 hours of Le Mans, drinking whiskey and coding. Life is good.

Me: *coding peacefully*
Me: *remembers homework, responsibilities and that thing my mom told me to do*
Me: *coding stressfully*

"Art is never finished, only abandoned"
-Leonardo Da Vinci

"Software is never finished, only abandoned"
-Me

Figuring out how to install Ruby on windows, is this real life? Or is this just fantasy, caught in a landslide? No escape from reality.

After one year of learning to code I am still not sure if I am an adequate programmer or a really effective Google user...

Me: *programming*

Team: *furiously discussing something outside of my expertise*

Me: *programming*

Team: *finally acknowledging my existance* "Yeah, dude. We are going to delete te project and start over because we can't fix this issue [which we have never ever discussed with you]."

Me: "What, that's stupid."

Team: "Well, do you have any bright ideas to fix it?"

Me: "Gimme until tomorrow."

Me: *programming*

Team: *doing absolutly nothing*

Me: "I fixed it!"

Team: "Why didn't you do that a week ago?"

Me: "You didn't ask..."

And so goes te story of how i was almost killed by an angry mob.