Devdocs has a dark theme!! Yes!!

"A different error message! Finally some progress!"

I'm having a crazy client month.

Me: *screwing around in inspect element*

Friend: Woah dude what hacking app is that, can you like turn off the lights

Me: *walks off into the distance*

Client: I need a blog with 3 categories.

Designer: cool, let's have every post teaser in the home look diferent depending on the category.

Me (Dev): Ok...

Client: *sees actual design with different looking posts depending on category* I like it! Let's go!

Me: *codes the site*

Client: It's cool but in the home the posts look different... Could we make them look the same?

Me:...

I don't understand why every non-technical person who comes to do work in my apartment messes up my fucking router.

The cleaning lady - multiple times knocked the antennas partially off. Like fucking clock work. I don't get it, why is the cleaning lady attracted to my router antennas and why does she need to be so hard on them? Whatever.

The most ridiculous episode was today. And it wasn't the cleaning lady. I had a few people here doing some work today and the woman in charge who was here informed me before that they might have to move the furniture "a little."

I come home, and like a bad omen, the plastic parts on BOTH my router antennas are missing. Completely gone. It's just the the wires. Now, the router still works fine in my tiny apartment, but it is a fancy Asus router (I learned the hard way not to buy cheap routers) and I'd like it to not have fucking wires as antennas.

I email the woman (paraphrased):

Me: hey, it seems the antennas got knocked off my router, do you have any idea where they might have went?

Her: Apologies if we didn't put everything back (no shit you didn't, that's why I've had to email you). If we knocked the antennas off the router (fucking "if"???? I literally just told you in my email that they were knocked off) , they are probably somewhere by the window on the floor (they weren't).

And I still haven't found them. Why the fuck do these people seemingly attack my router? I can't figure out what it is about it. You would think people would be more careful around electronics but naaah. Anyway, going to go keep looking for my router antennas.

I don't get why people are still using WinRAR. I discovered 7-zip years ago and while it's very minimalistic, open source and ad-free (also without any annoying "buy me now" shit), there has never been an archive I couldn't open using it.

Cable porn

Where are you DenverCoder9???

Light themes in any code/text editor.

Can you take a look at this?
Sure no problem.

Proceed to have my eyes melted by a burning white light.

When your code is a mess but still works

While building a Java net sniffer app, I finally write the code to run a Linux binary in a separate process after three days. It works perfectly!

Then I export my app to a runnable jar file.

About nine exceptions are thrown, including a security exception. So much for being done. 😐

Pick up line!

When learning a new language replace "Hello world" with "Hello darkness my old friend". Sounds more appropriate.

AARRGH, 20 mins of blindness and frustration

arr.length vs arr.length()

Q: What is the most used language in programming?

A: Profanity.

Case closed, stop arguing!

When I was 14, I was bad at many things. I sucked at sports cause I was weak and small. School was boring so I did not study. I mostly played games.
During a summer break, I wanted to change shit in WarCraft 3, as I heard from a friend that heard it from a friend, that you can do that. Many internet searches later I realised that you kind of just tell to the game what you want it to do, just simplified. If (target is enemy) do damage, for (every human player) make sparkly stuff...
After months of "playing" games, the new school year started and I got, for the first time, a proper computer class. Imagine my surprise when we started doing the shit I did all summer. That year I had 100% on all tests.
Many years later programming gave me friends, made my inner nerd and geek come out, gave me a free trip to the USA to represent my country, two TEDx talks, and finally a job that I like with the pay I can live with.

Coding completely changed my life. After roughly 8 years in construction management, and one rough divorce, I decided my life needed a change, so I dropped my high paying construction job and learned web development. 3 years later learning to code was the 2nd best decision I ever made (1st was to get a divorce)

Great terms

So I got a call from a school friend today.

I'm currently doing majors in Computer science and I hadn't talked to her since high school.

She: "Hi! How are you?"
Me: "Hey, I'm great! How are you?"

It's really difficult to talk to someone after 2-3 years, considering you didn't talk much in school also.

She: "I'm great too!"
Me: "So what's up?"

She: "Listen, my friend lost her iPhone today. Cab you help us in retrieving it?"

Me: *hangs up*