Working in a shared office space, everytime I hear somebody brag about the "AI" they have on their stack, I ask "Really? Can you show me where it sits??" just to see how confused they get thinking it might be a new tech concept.

Me: Are you writing data to the disk?
Them: No
Me: Are you sure?
Them: Maybe a little
Me: The disk on that machine is full
Them: Actually I'm writing gigabytes of duplicated data to a random location, use some of it and delete none of it
Me:
Them:

Makes you wanna punch a dev.

Finding comments in legacy code like "too tired, fuck you" or "this implementation is dirtyyyyyy" makes me wanna punch a dev.

"Here I wrote you a script so you won't hurt yourself. and others."

My job as DevOps combines two of my major passions: Coding and yelling at developers.

That guy at the office who gets really irritated and worried about newly introduced technology. He would spend 2-3 days talking trash about it, saying how much he prefers the older and less efficient approach just because he knows it.

That fucking guy.

That guy at the office who's constantly and vocally upset he hasn't gotten into Bitcoin a long time ago.

That fucking guy.

If your relative's computer doesn't have a TeamViewer (or similar) client running 24/7, you're a failure and deserve to have your rant privileges revoked.

Yeah so my colleague just started talking about purchasing Bitcoin in a store. A physical store.

Would you consider God as SaaS?

1. "Do computers"
2. "Don't touch my internet it won't start again!"

Thanks mom.

Ah, coffee #4. All of the shakes and none of the wakefulness </3

Managing dependencies with npm or yarn feels like trying to communicate with a bunch of hipster kids. "Ugh omg I no longer hang in that namespace like that was so two weeks ago"

Sometimes I think at least 40% of showing productivity relates to how many applications on your screen are colored in Solarized Dark.

That co-worker who keeps complaining about trivial stuff like his IDE not being configured exactly the way he likes it but makes zero efforts to fix the fucking problem 😡

"I don't know about changing that part of the platform"
-"Do you see any other way?"

"No, but this one is pretty complex"
-"Would you like me not to do it?"

"No, but like, really test it, OK? It's a very complex part of the platform"
-"Would you like me to include the phrase 'this was really fucking complex' in the release documentation?"

Sometimes I think my boss is against coding :/

"Don't use 'unless' in your code, it's confusing. Use 'if not' instead"

Seriously?

"Do you have time? I got a quick question about ruby and sudo and all that"

I'm reluctant to introduce devRant to my co-workers because I'm worried they might connect the dots and realize I've been complaining about them :/

I just love how upset the sticker looks with ThinkPad.

Thanks you guys! Your envelope managed to overcome even the horror we know as the Israeli Postal Company 👏

1. Identify the problem
2. Come up with a clever solution
3. Refactor half of your code
4. Watch it fail horribly because you're such an idiot it's a bloody miracle you keep breathing on your own
5. Repeat

When Support burst into your office to find 4 devs standing in front of a whiteboard with frustrated faces.

And still asks: "Got time for a question? this will only take a minute.."

when your task is basically an open debate in design philosophy between 3 dev management levels and you just want someone to make the call so you could code