Details
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AboutStudent programmer, gamedev
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SkillsC, C#, python
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LocationSydney, Australia
Joined devRant on 3/9/2018
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Other Dev left just as we hit beta and refactored all his code without documentation... Not even fucking comments...10
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Javascript is McDonald's.
1) everyone says they hate it....but they just keep going back.
2) very few people admit they keep gong back...
3) When McDonald's started doing salads, dressing nice, and delivering to tables it seemed a little much, you're a burger place. A few years later I'm writing my app in react JS, serving up eJS templates with my NodeJS server, running off a NOSQL JSon database, and munching down a Greek salad from McD's.
4) you start your burger (project) with high hopes. As you eat though....you start to regret it, but oh well, you're halfway in. By the end, never again, last time. A little while later, npm asks you if you'd like fries with that.
Feel free to disagree or add more!12 -
New senior dev joined the project today.
Senior dev: "There's no way for me to test my changes before I merge this into develop"
Me: "Can you at least run our test suite?"
An hour later the develop branch is fucked and everyone who has merged it locally has pages of red errors splattered across their screens whenever they run any tests.
Start looking into what the fuck is going on.
Notice that all the errors are related to changes the new guy made.
Ask him if he ran the tests..
Senior dev: "Nah they wouldn't catch anything locally "
Stare at the stream of red text running down my screen.
Normally I wouldn't care but we were trying to prepare a release... RUN THE FUCKING TESTS ASSHOLE.9 -
Me, trying to create a LaTeX document: *googles "latex string comparison"*
Customer and boss walk in.
Google: *shows NSFW results*
I.. Let...- Let me explain, it's not what it looks like!14 -
!dev
I'm moving out soon and normally when the hallway is filled with stuff/boxes, the landlord doesn't like that and you might get a warning.
I take that quite seriously and thus always tried to keep it clean.
Now I'm moving in a few days, hallway is filled with stuff and the landlord told he doesn't like that at all.
I can't be bothered much, my new room is already available, good luck with kicking me out now 😋10 -
I've put my blood, sweat and tears into this company in the past years. Worked overtime, evenings, weekends, night shifts to get shit done and helped out in sharing knowledge only to learn a new guy who's still learning has 200 bucks higher pay check than me.
I'm not even sure how to react to this.18 -
Teacher: *writes <!doctype html> in his web page*
Teacher: Of course we're going to use HTML 5 for our application!
Also teacher: *continues to demonstrate <center> and <font> tags*
Ffs...11 -
Huge dev-team presentation today with YouTube livestream link available to all clients.
Management wanted us to test our laptops, connections and cables to the bone, so that every computer will work 100% while the stream is running.
You know what didn't work?
The goddamn streaming camera device.1 -
*Working on Friend1's laptop*
*Friend1 leaves and his laptop gets locked unattended*
Friend2: Now what? We need to finish that thing on his laptop..
Me: Let me try..
*thinks*
*Enters Friend1's name*
*Laptop unlocks!*
6 -
What if God is actually an average developer working for a company which creates worlds and at first it all ran fine but then the support period expired and wasn't renewed and now shit's hitting the fan and nobody gives a fuck.25
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TL;DR: One of my coworkers is a genius engineer and doesn't get as much recognition as he deserves, whereas another extremely mediocre engineer on the team gets praised for his crappy applications.
We have one engineer on our team (let's call him Hank) who started with me at the company when we were interns, and man is he a freaking genius. I swear, you could give this guy any language/library/framework, and he'll be fluent in it in less than a week. He's singlehandedly written two of our most complex applications by himself, and has a great sense of UX as well. All of his apps look fantastic.
The problem is, I feel like he doesn't get anywhere near as much recognition as he should. I try to talk him up to our manager, and our manager knows that Hank is smart, but he also overlooks him for promotions and praise because he's a little spacey (he's got quite the case of ADD) and doesn't speak up very often. He's got trouble focusing sometimes, but when he's in the zone, he can write an exponentially better and more complex application in 2 days than some of our other engineers can do in 4 months.
For example, we have another engineer on our team (let's call him Phil,) and the entire team has their heads so far up Phil's butt that I'm surprised they haven't suffocated yet. Don't get me wrong, he's a smart guy. He's great with the more basic aspects of our job, but when it comes to writing an application, he has no idea what he's doing, and he takes months to write something that should have taken him days. Then when he finally releases it, it's riddled with bugs. But everybody praises and bows down to him for it. "Oh Phil, this app is amazing. You're a genius, you deserve to be a Lead." Then we have Hank sitting quietly at his desk, banging out his 3rd big application of the month, and people say "Eh, nobody's going to use those apps anyway. He's wasting time." And I'm standing there thinking, "You asshats, we already have a solution for the app that Phil wrote, and the entire company is already using it. It's exponentially better, why did you let him waste time writing this when there's already an existing solution?!"
Oh well, I hope Hank gets some recognition soon. He certainly deserves it.18 -
You are good in programming and data structures.
But we won't select you because you couldn't solve the puzzle. 😑11 -
*Working on personal project*
Don't get excited about another project
Don't get excited about another project
Don't get excited about another project
Don't get excited about another project
...DAMNIT16 -
A HUGE FUCK YOU TO EVERY GODDAMN ONLINE STORE WHO NEEDS A CREDIT CARD NUMBER TO OBTAIN SOMETHING FREE.
(the following is a big fuck you)
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\___/9 -
Get rid of required minimal lines of code for project assignments.
I
Will
Slap
The
Fucker
Who
Codes
Like
This
As
Many
Times
Per
Fucked
Up
Line11 -
So apparently my boss knows the "new senior dev", which I will call 'B'.
Backstory:
Program which I worked on for a year, my baby, is doing fine. Suddenly B decides to update it to "standardize it", against my suggestions/protests. Fastfoward to the following morning, I get to work and there's a bunch of emails from B waiting for me. I'm like "Well there's a meeting in an hour, so no point in answering all of these". 30 minutes go by and then boss shows up in my team's area. Asking for me.
(I didn't know this at the time, but apparently boss knows B. And thinks that B is this amazing programmer and super nice.)
According to boss, B has been trying to contact me all morning about my program failing.
It is at this moment that my mentor stands up to defend me. She basically tells our boss that B is a piece of shit. And I'm just loving it, ++ to mentor for bring awesome.12 -
Steam knows I will be buying a game tomorrow.
Next thing we know, the robots have taken over our civilization.
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Let's quickly talk about idiots.
> A simpleton coworker of mine installed Ubuntu on his brand new ThinkPad with a touch screen.
> Asks me to show him the Linux games site I mentioned earlier.
> I see that he has no browser installed.
No Firefox, Chromium, Epiphany, etc.
> Now I know that he has a room temperature IQ and something moronic is going to happen.
Truth be said, I subliminally desired a terminal based browser.
> Then he fucking opens Wine and I shit you NOT! That thundercunt opens...
> Internet Explorer!
> I punched his screen.
> No longer a touch-screen laptop.17 -
So my friend has two-step authentication for his smartphone.
Now he is not able to find his phone.
So, he tried to find his phone by logging into his google account via Android Device Manager.
Now, it is asking for the authentication pin which is in his phone.😂
He just got deadlocked.12 -
Got called anti-social because I don't use social networks and rather talk to people.
I am not sure how to feel about this.19 -
My own programming language (still WIP). I got SO excited when I found recursion worked, I even got the simplest factorial recursive function wrong. And then again, once arrays worked, bubble sort it was. I shit you not, once I saw all the numbers printed in order, I had to stand up and walk or I would have jumped out of the chair in excitement.
In case someone is interested, I use LLVM for the backend.4
