it's been 3 years since i last logged in, happy to see you again

Big event. Massive traffic in production, so we were monitoring all night.

I was in a room with 2 devs of my team, a marketting girl, my boss and a designer... chilling.

Suddenly the production is down.

Boss: production is down, anyone can check?
Me: already on it
Dev1: it looks ok for me
Dev2: me too
Me: wait what? Impossible everything is down
Dev1: oh I refreshed the page it's not working
Me: don't stay on the page refreshing it like you are fucking monkeys. Give me useful intel or be quiet.
Market girl: is it working?
...
Guys is it working?
...
Hello?
Me: Not yet we are looking. Don't distract me.
Boss: client called us. They want it online now.
Dev1&2: he's looking
... 1 min later...
Boss: is it working?
Boss: is it working?
Boss: is it working?
Me: SHUT THE FUCK FOR FUCKING ONE SECOND. ALL OF YOU, OUT NOW. YOU ARE FUCKING MONKEYS WHO CAN'T DO SHIT. IF YOU CAN'T HELP JUST SHUT YOUR DAMN SHITHOLE. DEVS, LOOK WITH ME. MARKET GIRL PREPARE A FUCKING POST-MORTEM MAIL. BOSS GET THE CLIENT ON THE PHONE AND STALE. DO. YOUR. FUCKING. JOBS.

That's how I ended up screaming at everyone... the rest of the night went in complete silence and I fixed the issue 2min after the got quiet or busy.

Dear assholes of the internet. Next time you publish an article/tutorial/story etc, PUT THE FUCKING PUBLICATION DATE AT THE TOP.

I don’t care about your need to be minimalist, FUCK YOU, INCLUDE THE DATE.

You Don't post an "X vs Y" article and conclude with "it depends, there is no winner"

We understand it your opinion so just say it, break hearts if you have to. But don't build tension and then leave the audience hanging.

Ps. This is especially for react vs angular vs vue

Had to create this table tent because mfs just couldn't take a hint. I also have one for when I'm concentrating/deep in code zone.

serverless

Some young kid taking his first steps into compsci was being straight-up fucking harassed on SO. No one answered, instead users with really high rep just said shit like "if you tried to hang yourself with that code it'd come apart but you should check anyway" in the comments. I flagged the comments and got fucking banned from the entire Stack Exchange network. I created a new account to help the kid, posted an answer, and was banned and had my answer removed within 5 minutes.

SE can burn in hell.

hope this isnt a repeat. have a great weekend guys!!!!!

If Rockstar wants some piece of AR gaming.

Client tests the app and provides feedback ... This sucks! Full of bugs, hard to navigate, nothing works!

1 week later after version 2 client provides new feedback: This rocks! Love it. Easy to use and rock solid!

Changes made: background set to light blue.

Client ask for "quick fix". Done.
Client asks for the invoice. Freaks out. "WTF you are charging thousands of dollars for 15 minutes of work!"

Reply: "It took me 15 years to fix it for you in 15 mins!"

Picasso FTW!

Talking about SDKs on a date 😳 #winning lol

Back in the day, when callbacks was all I've found on Internet tutorials, my code looked like this (img) . But then I found something called "async" and it changed my life!

But I couldn't let go of my old ways, so the code with async looked just like the callback one, but with new boilerplate code.

The thing is: you can't simply USE something new like you were using the old one. you'll probably use it wrong. you have to understand that this new thing is different and adapt your thinking process to better work with it.

you can sit on a skateboard and go forward using your hands on the ground to push it, but that's not how it was designed to work.

I still use callbacks because I have no intention of rewriting my working codebases right now (because they work just fine). But, even with my struggles in changing to new tech, I've learned to adapt (sort of).

Honest Job description. Original: https://twitter.com/ThePracticalDev...

I let my wife use my laptop for a minute. She closed all my tabs and I can't restore them. Our love died inside a little today.

The Technological Revolution has changed everything...

I'm creating a website and I'm thinking: Wow, I use html, css, javacript and python, I'm awesome! Then I see what other people know: shit, I'm not awesome...
Programmer: the more you know, the more modest you become...

A) "Why did you do that?"
B)<typing>
A) "Hello? I'm talking to you..."
B) "Sorry, i missed to tag this Commit. please see the commit history for your questions. That's why i use the DVCS.

In a hackathon, my team decided to work on a Android app as a challenge to ourselves. It was our first Android app development and we were very excited at first. But after awhile, one of my teammate (the usual problematic one) gives up implementing the recyclerview after few hours of struggling, and decided to 'fk it' and watch YouTube linustech. As such, I have to takeover and implemented it within an hour by just googling and following some tutsplus tutorial. What do you do with this kind of teammate?

Best weather for coding :)

it work 0.0

I am a student. A Geospatial Engineering student. I made a demo Cordova app mapping incident spots on OSM., now my fellow undergrads think I can hack NSA, program a satellite, build all their dream websites and apps. The College Department wants me to lead an in-house photogrammetric programmable drone project. If they ask I'll say yes... yes I can! shit.😂

What do you think ?

OSX: `brew install package`
Linux: `apt-get install package`
Windows: "took hours to figure out but this is how I did it" - forum c. 2003

My company took over a project that was previously sent overseas . (PHP, laravel 5.1) so I was pointed a lead developer in this project, when I emailed the "senior developer " from the previous company about version control and code documentation. He assured me there was nothing to worry about . ... I found 450 line methods without comments and as version control I found zip files with dates as the name ... fML this is gonna be a long summer

Our coworker's name is BLAS and we did this.

Now I understand!

Is WordPress' use of God objects really such a big problem? I mean, sure wp_query is used for every possible purpose and is the most mutated piece of horror every. But what is the harm?

Windows Firewall in a nutshell.

I just made this devrant chrome extension that notifies you when a new rant is posted. Just because having the site open isn't distracting enough.

@dfox will I get in trouble for using your logo for this?