Welp. My door fell on my desk and broke it so there goes me coding.

Technically, everything's SFW at pornhub HQ

Me: * Has roughly 1.5 years of PHP experience *

LinkedIn recruiter: Hello Java expert with lots of Oracle enterprise experience, wanna call?

What would you do if your colleague did not believe in vaccination, thought carbon dating was wrong, we didn't go to the moon, and wanted to buy you a drink?
I've practically stopped drinking at company functions, simply to keep my distance. I'm afraid stupidity might be contagious...

Copyright laws are just bo𝑇ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑐𝑜𝑚𝑚𝑒𝑛𝑡 ℎ𝑎𝑠 𝑏𝑒𝑒𝑛 𝑐𝑒𝑛𝑠𝑜𝑟𝑒𝑑 𝑑𝑢𝑒 𝑡𝑜 𝐸𝑢𝑟𝑜𝑝𝑒𝑎𝑛 𝑈𝑛𝑖𝑜𝑛’𝑠 𝑐𝑜𝑝𝑦𝑟𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡 𝑙𝑎𝑤.

How comes companies don't give a shit abt onboarding?! The better your onboarding processes the faster the people you hired become productive?? Should never take me three weeks jus to get access...and when I do it's a problem ...should be seamless

At least that's what makes sense to me

What's yours?

Currently learning Kubernetes Cluster. Wow so much to learn.

Much easier to setup any app for a Cluster. Only building the Image takes time 🙄

Containers are the future ✌🏻

Looking for jobs be like:

Do you want to work 1.5hrs from where you currently live for only $5k more/year? Are you ok with like 2 holidays and only 5 days PTO?

NOTIFICATION OVERLOAD

Had to change the slack notification noise, so i didn't die from a anxiety attack.

Front End programming is the worst of all worlds.

I am a Full Stack developer that during every interview says "i can do front end stuff if needed". Something gets lost in translation and becomes "I do only front end stuff".

I don't mind front end development, but i hate urgent nitpicking that happens every time. Everyone else on the team works by regular tasks and deliveries (sprints and release dates), but my work consists of being the brush of the creative mind of someone else, that could not figure out how to make a good design before sending it out to me.

I am not a designer, a designer job is a creative one, i am just a brush that the team uses to complain why this button looks wrong on this not designed platform.

Too broke to get to the job interview. 😕
Well, that was an akward phone call to make.

Downloaded Unity today, let the journey begin🌝

I spend around 50% of work time on personal projects.

last 36 hours
Sleep 2 : hours
Other stuff : 5-6 hours

Work : remaining hours

Still energetic

Ok yeahhh it’s not me.

Just got told I didn’t pass an interview that lasted 15 minutes with him talking about the company and no questions for me.

My interviewers lately have just been unfortunate

Banks be like

You don't have much money?
Here, let me keep taking some of that from you until you get more, k?

Oh, that was more than you had?
Now you owe me even more, nerd.

What, you can't pay that either?
Better ask me for a loan so you can pay off your debt to me. Loser.

What? You still can't pay?
I'm gonna take your everything!

*Clears throat*

To everyone who say's they won't release X for Y because Y isn't good at Z (For example, people who don't support games on Linux because Linux isn't as good at gaming compared to windows), go fuck yourself with the wide end of a rake...

Fuck me people piss me off with stupidity sometimes .-.

Thing's aren't going to evolve and get better if everyone just abandon's shit at the first fucking hurdle, remember when windows wasn't good at gaming compared to mac, well that fucking changed pretty quick didn't it...

(If anyone is curious how this came about, I'm am still holding hope for Gamemaker studio 2 to come to Linux but in the mean time though about running it's compiler through mono and building a front end to see if I can even do it but was talking to someone about it and they said I'm wasting my time because Linux is shit for games)

Spent all night debugging and couldn’t produce an acceptable result, I’m tired. 😪

3 person help desk shop for 450 users. One of my tasks is procurement.

Customer: we need a portable monitor that takes up less desk space than the one you typically have us buy

Me: at the conference last week we displayed the upgraded model of that portable monitor which takes up half the desk space. It’s $250 instead of the $150 that you normally would pay.

Customer: that ones too expensive, find me something else.

Me: unfortunately not too many companies make portable monitors and since AOC is unreliable in quality we have been recommending Asus, who only makes those two models that I’ve shown you.

Customer: I want the AOC one anyways. You shouldn’t have shown the more expensive one because now my staff want it and I can’t get it. If everyone can’t afford it you shouldn’t have it available.

Me: I understand your frustration, we have recommended that more expensive one as an option for people who have special accommodations for eye care and as an alternative if people dislike the current model. Since it’s not required that you purchase it and since we do have a much less expensive option we will continue to recommend it. As for the AOC one we will allow you to purchase it but will not be supporting or repairing it.

Customer: Can we get this instead? *sends link to $989 pre tax off brand version of Razer Project Valeria*

So we released a new version of a core system on friday trusting everything was fine... Saturday morning everyone reporting problems and we run as fast as we can to find out a super important field was never assigned after unserialized 🙃

and I stole it from r/ProgrammerHumor

src : https://reddit.com/r/...

I hacked this mini-project yesterday night, Computer generated photo-montage by scenes extracted from the movie.
It's an end to end python script which will work for any video and a high res poster.

So the company I work for is moving to a new building. The project managers, who we do everything we do to avoid, are going to be on the same floor as us. The contractors, who we pay a crap ton of money to fly them in from halfway across the globe so we can work closely with them, are going to be 6 floors away.

...who approved this bullshit?

My boss...

With `Back-End` he understands `the Dashboard`. The system that is used only from company's employees.

`Front-End`, the software that is used by our customers.

I have explained him many times that he was wrong, but he seems to use this term. And now I have to use these terms like him.

I just can't help it. Especially, for that Indian guy.

Ok, got it.....

Brand new clean Windows sandbox

I want to see this in Sydney Australia someday guys. Also visit Atlassian HQ there