Your client is making you consider killing someone. How do you invent a device that allows you to reach into the internet and slap your client?

Show your desktop!

Biggest security issue you ever found or fixed?

Wrost security fix ever seen?

encode that passwords in base64 is safe enough.

And keep the password.txt accessible from internet it's safe because nobody know that it exists...

Most hours you've worked in a row and why?

That time I almost distroyed everything... (we've all had at least one of those, don't you dare deny it)

Yes or No

PROGRAMMING AS AN INTELLECTUAL ACTIVITY IS THE ONLY ART FORM THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CREATE INTERACTIVE ART. 🎨
YOU CAN CREATE PROJECTS THAT OTHER PEOPLE CAN PLAY WITH, AND YOU CAN TALK TO THEM INDIRECTLY. 💬
NO OTHER ART FORM IS QUITE THIS INTERACTIVE. 💕
MOVIES FLOW TO THE AUDIENCE IN ONE DIRECTION. ⏩
PAINTINGS DO NOT MOVE.🖼
CODE GOES BOTH WAYS. ↔

- ZED SHAW

*Typing password*

Wrong characters typed = 1
Times backspace key pressed = 78

Understanding my colleague's spaghetti code is like smelling the color of number B.

Enough is enough. This has happened for the last time! >:(

So, today timestamps within my database saved me. I have one titled "created_at" to indicate when the item was originally created.

Today a large client called up to complain that they have 296 bookings but only 288 menu choices (each booking has a menu choice). Basically, saying I'd "programmed it wrong [sic]" :(

After taking a quick look at the date the client originally added the menu and the date the missing bookings were created, I made a discovery.

It turned out the client was at fault. They had set an event (customers book events and bookings have a menu choice) live without associating the menu. This meant the event had been live without a menu for customers to book.

I simply compared the timestamps of the missing bookings to the date the menu was originally added. The customer most likely made the event live for period (I estimate ~45 mins), realised they hadn't associated a menu and then added it afterwards. Of course at this point it was too late as people had already booked.

No need for a huge email either. I condensed the above into a 5 sentence email.

Timestamps are soooo useful

surprise mothafuka

Properly align a div before you leave teenage.

Had trouble to connect to our MySQL database, so I decided to open a ticket to the Database admins. At least they are pros and I'm sure they'll help me:

"Hey guys, I have trouble connecting to [Hostname]. I guess it's a firewalling issue would you take a look? Attached are screenshots, saying hostname not found.

Answer:
Hey Dominique, are you sure the password you used is correct? Is it yours or the sysuser pw what you sent to the server? How did you send it?

Me: (kind of confused) Hey dear admin, did you look at my error message? It says Hostname not found. What do you think how I provided any credentials?

Support: yes, I saw your screenshot and don't see any password entry. That's why I asked!

Me: Well, than... ok... go and search for another job. Yeah and consider fucking yourself. Kisses.

So my neighbor needed my help with her notebook. She said she has to provide a new password everytime she logs in. I asked her to log in in front of my eyes. She entered her password and clicked "forgot password" instead of "login" 😐

Did you ever hear of "return" ?

https://bbc.com/news/...,

Between this and GDPR, were going to create a great firewall that will just block all network traffic to the EU. They don’t get how the internet works. Government shouldn’t touch things

I would encourage every one of you to support the Tor project in dark times like this

Guy left his computer unlocked. Boss came over looking for him, sat down at his computer and opened lots of porn and left saying 'that will teach him'.

Oh Dude!! Are u serious!!!

Was interviewing someone for a role, asked them a basic question in Python (before anyone gets on my case about interview coding questions, it's removing duplicates and the answer is to just cast to set, I'm just checking that they actually know Python). Perusing Stack Overflow while I wait for their answer (it's a remote call and I give them a bit of time to calmly deliberate). The exact prompt I gave them pops up as a question, the asker is registered to their profile.

Not only did they not get the job, but I downvoted the question and marked it as duplicate. Rejection and unemployment can be temporary, but StackOverflow reputation is FOREVER.

PM: “I need to you build a responsive web portal for our BaaS clients that is clean and responsive. I’d like you to use Node, CSS Grid and ES6 for it.”

Me: “Sounds like fun.”

PM: “Make sure it works in IE8.”

Dad: Hey kids! Dinner's ready.
Kids: What's for dinner dad?
Dad: Spaghetti..

Chlamydia.... yikes.

https://chlammedia.nl.

Randomly thought of that one 😆

Buying domains is fun 😊

I've been tasked to do website debugging.
For Internet Explorer 11.
On a Mac.
I have to use a virtual machine to get Windows on a mac just so I can test on internet explorer.
This mac is not fast.
This virtual machine is even less fast.
The internet explorer on this virtual machine on this mac is the least fast.
Even worse, this website is a pile of garbage. It's slower than my grandma.
My grandma is dead.
You can't get any slower than that, so I thought.
But then I got introduced to the result of making a wordpress site with over 300 pieces of media and 20 plugins.
If you are one of the people that's smart enough to stay away from wordpress: I assure you that it fucks your site up beyond repair.
So anyway, how was your day?

"Art is never finished, only abandoned"
-Leonardo Da Vinci

"Software is never finished, only abandoned"
-Me

I'm considering giving every new employee a WinRAR license.

Visual Studio : the var "listlines" is only assigned but its value is never used

Me : I'm using it on the next line, you piece of sh--

I asked a question on stack exchange. Wish me luck!

My boss came into my room today, sat down and said:

Take your family to the [BIG AMUSEMENT PARK], and please keep the reciepts and give them to me. Spend a couple of hundreds bucks and we will pay.
Thanks for being someone whom I can trust

That made me happy