One week sprints. Pain in the ass.

2011: 3 billion devices run Java
2018: 3 billion devices run Java

Stackoverflow.

When you use a new technology without reading the documentation first.

Yep, when a guy wants a little downtime.

Git spoons , forks and knife and plate also available 😂😂😂😂🙌

In Europe, we use € instead of $ in jQuery.

Where is the LAN cable and why the hell does my chair not...

Oh.

Google => googled

Duck duck go => duck duck went?

🤔

macOS treats chess like it's the System32 file in windows

Yesterday, my employer promoted me to lead web developer.

I’m still the only web developer.

I imagine two dev colleagues sitting next to each other, on their phone, each feeling very secure in the anonymity of devrant.

Thanks for the info

Console.log() is fine
But Have you tried
Console.table()

Mind = blown

As a programmer, I'm outraged.

So easy to learn new things these days :P

But.. React's initial release was 2013.😑

This is what happens when I'm asked to document something.

Did you say security?

Just took a new role...

Production database filled with tables like the following :/

SELECT TOP (1000) [ID]
,[Field1]
,[Field2]
,[Field3]
,[Field4]
,[Field5]
,[Field6]
,[Field7]
,[Field8]
,[Field9]
,[Field10]
,[Field11]
,[Field12]
,[CapID]
,[Car_Manufacturer]
,[Car_Range]
,[Car_Derivative]
,[Field17]
,[Field18]
,[Field19]
,[Car_Model]
,[Field21]
,[Field22]
,[Field23]
FROM [****].[dbo].[****]

This isn't even the worst, there's a table with 250+ fields that should be broken out into 10-15 tables. The code is far, far worse.

Don't think I'll be here too long.

Give that man some HUGE FUCKING COOKIES!

When you "fix" a bug not by actually fixing the bug but by disabling the user's ability to cause the bug.

When a non-coworker stars your project on github.

Plot twist

What my parents think I do to fix the wifi vs. What I actually do

Oh sh*t

Try to understand Nerds.....

Uncle: "It must be noisy, programming. I've seen a datacenter on TV, and those computers are loud" — "It is noisy, but that's more my coworkers fault"

Sales guy at the office: "So you see patterns in the code, you can read this cryptic mess?" — "Uh this is PHP, Its not the syntax that makes it hard to read, it's the dimwit who wrote it"

Father-in-law: "Could you reprogram my laptop, I got a virus trying to download por... nature documentaries" — "I'm not that kind of doctor"

Mother-in-law: "How will you sustain a family, you just play video games all day" — "I make your monthly teachers salary in four days"

Girlfriend: "I learned some Lua today because I needed a world of warcraft extension for..." — "I love you too"

X: Can you link my Facebook account with the website?

Me: Yes. Can.

X: Good. I want to update website using Facebook since I know how to use Facebook well.

Me: 💀

This is me :P