What is your opinion on Facebook Business products in terms of API and UI quality?

TL;DR: Fuck Wordpress and their shitty “editor”.

Client told me the Wordpress editor was unusual slow on their site. I inspected the network traffic, while fiddling around in the admin pages. What I found was an even worse nightmare than expected. Somehow the fucktard of an “engineer” decided to implement the spell check module, to parse all other text areas on the page - even the fucking image sources. The result is a browser sending a GET request to fetch the images from the server every time an author triggers a keyup-event. Disabled the spell check and everything was back to budget-ineffective-feces-Wordpress normal.

When you introduce the new interns and your colleague's Windows machine is presenting on a large monitor with the watermark "Activate Windows" in the right corner.

Everybody knew exactly what was going on. Made a joke about it - nobody laughed.

Me: The IP Address on your public mail server cluster has been blacklisted.

Supporter: What is the IP? You can get it from whatismyip.com

Me: *has left the chat*

Pair a FP programmer with an OOP programmer for nine months and they will give birth to a whole new level of procrastination.

Is it a feature on devRant, that the order of tags are shuffled when posting?

If the wheel wasn't reinvented, bikes would still have wooden tires.
*continues writing another Javascript framework*

Visited Java and couldn't C on short distances. Went to an iClinic that Swift'ly gave me c++ goggles. I can now C# but I Haskell been struggling with my OCaml as it's been bit by a Bash'ing Python in a Shell. I'm not trying to sell you a Ruby but I can't find my way back to BASIC.

Went to recruit some interns at a CS school in my area. Talked to their teacher in charge of internships and asked her about their students skills in Java. She said they all are very solid in JavaScript. I left immediately.

When you finish a great meeting with some clients on a super hot summer day and everybody rise from their chairs but there's a wet stain on all the dark plastic seats that everybody try to cover for.

You gotta know the box to think out of the box, said the Dropbox fanatic while syncing his local Git folders to share with the team.

FUCK rabbit holes real hard. When you spend a week creating a super optimized recursive handler for mapping redundant database row results and you wake up from your coma realizing everything could be handled by a much simpler SQL query done in five minutes. Fuck me, fuck the rabbits creating holes to fall into and fuck Alice for creating the fucking illusion of wonderland.

When you and your senior push to production well knowing there is a bug in there but you do not care because you are the company's dark lords

Been working a year and a half on an offer for a client to plan their new system. Today they wanted us to construct the whole system and call it a beta only to pay 10% of the total costs. They said it is our responsibility to make the budget work as they are merely the "end users and not tech people". I am considering to tell them to go f**k themselves tomorrow.

Sometimes I sit in awkward positions while coding. I once stood up at the office, took one step and fell to the floor because my leg was numb. They almost gave me a medal.

When all you want is to be a game developer

When you show the client the comprehensive administration system they ordered but their young female HR leader is "more into pictures than tables".

So I created a Barber class but when I use the trim method I keep losing space.

When you create some shell scripts on the servers which are supposed to mail your team each day at 9pm and you leave for vacation at 4pm only to see the emails suddenly arriving on the way home at 4:30 telling you and everybody else that almost everything possible went wrong on an unknown server.

The pain in a dev's heart when a long queue keeps growing at the supermarket and they don't open another checkout