me: "Why is the QA guy manually typing JSON into a production environment?"
asshole: "That's not your responsibility."
me: "Why didn't you just migrate data? This is dangerous."
asshole: "You need to go sit down."

Well, I made a choice in life.

I'm going to stay and work in America after I graduate. In spite of all the shit talking I've done about its work ethics, benefits, politics, and culture.

This place is still home.

After trying out a trip to Europe for a few weeks I can't handle the idea of being 4,500 miles away from family and what few friends I have. I figured out what was true the whole time: I wanted to run away from my past. Breakups, a failed marriage proposal, a dead end job that I put up with only because I need to graduate. I've been angry and depressed over these things, but running away won't fix it.

I need to face reality and own up to it. I'll get a job as a developer in the states through hell or high-water.

Go big or go home.

macOS 😂😂😂😂

My lead developer left on vacation for a week. Without notice to my boss and/or myself.

Well to be fair we did have the minimum which is a 2 day notice....

So what did we do? Well the boss and I acted like absolute adults and did what any other adult would do.

Me sticky noted the fuck out of his desk and screens.

4 screens full of sticky notes.

Phone is full of sticky notes too. And geez man....everything is sticky notes....so...many....sitcky...notes

When you get high on validation

Stackoverflow.

My friend said "I googled it on duck duck go"

Me: Dude what?

Oh shit

When you mention in your resume that you are an active contributor to Linux source code.

I had a dream last night about how to fix a bug in my code.
I couldn't sleep the rest of the night because I was too excited about fixing it.
Plus side: the fix worked this morning.
Down side: ive drank so much coffee I can smell color

Software requirements

Your branch isn't as good as you think it is

A friend asked me to test a program he made
So i downloaded it, and i noticed that i crash when you try to minimize the window
After i tell him about the bug, he send me a new version, and said "I fixed it, it was pretty easy"
He just removed the minimize button
"to remove a bug, remove the feature"

Client : pls put the disclaimer that the site uses cookies.
Me: but we don't use cookies this is a static page
Client: Still, the pop up makes the site look more professional, kindly add the feature asap
Me: :/

Best advice

The sooner you start coding, the longer it will take.

This was meant as a way to tell us all the slow down and plan first. If you go right into coding things before the structure is thought out you will end up with garbage code.

"Don't learn Frameworks, learn techniques."

Well that was a fun call I just had.

Owner of the company I freelance for: Hey I forgot to tell you something.

Me: What?

Owner: I bought you a plane ticket to fly to Puerto Rico. You're heading out in a month.

Me: What?! Why????

Owner: To set up cryptocurency mining rigs.

Me: Just because I know a bit about mining doesn't make me an expert.

Owner: We have $80k in our pocket in investments from outside parties, with another $20-30k on the way. You get 20% of the coins mined for as long as you manage it.

Me: So we're gonna set up several rigs, utilizing a b250 motherboard, g4400 CPU, 8GB of RAM and 10 GPUs each. We'll have AMD rigs for monero and Nvidia rigs for Ethereum and others. We'll use awesome miner for profitability switching on the fly. Each machine is probably going to be $5k each, possibly $4k with bulk discounts. We'll need at least 1500W per rig for power, 2000W to be safe, so we need to make sure we have ample power delivery to the mining warehouse.

Owner: I thought you weren't an expert?

Me: I'm not, but when there's money involved my motivation to Google goes into overdrive.

"Put aside your ego, it's the worst problem with programmers" -My mentor

I tend to help others and contribute with courtesy, putting my ego aside and listening to others' suggestions at all times, no matter how potentially silly they are

My friend and boss，told me he would teach me code 2 years in a half ago.

I didnt know what css or html was and i used to call java javascript.

I can know create my own module with webpack， have my automated doc， use react， redux， he taught me linux， git，unit testing， databases，docker， and so on...

Im not an expert in any of it butbi know what they are for and can play with them more or less comfortably.

The best advice he ever gave me was:

“coding is not about coding. We are like the greath painters of history. They were great at painting but even more at creating. If you have no creativity， you can paint as well as you want， its worthless.”

When I downloaded a virus that turned out to be a troll. It spawned some windows with 'Trololololo...' flashed blue and red and jumped random on the screen while playing troll music.
Closing one window would lead to that window beeing duplicated.

When I got into coding, one of my first projects was a recreation of this.

At my old company one of my colleagues introduced async / await into our csharp code. He created interfaces and showed us a great structuring of his code. Sadly a few weeks later he left the company, because of personal reasons and a bug appeared in his written service. Our senior developer took the issue and complained for like 1 week. That you can't find anything, that interfaces are useless, that async / await is slow and sucks and that we should stop trying to bring new structures into the code base and do things the old way. In the end he deleted all the great things that my colleague introduced and wrote bad and smelly code.

Linux..

Guy called in because he wanted to get an IP white listed on a server. He wasn't authorized so i told him to send an email from an authorized email address.

He didn't like that very much and asked if another engineer was available (he talked to him more often so he thought that engineer would just do it. We need those kind of requests by email.)

Walked over to my colleague and explained what that client asked for.
'let him send an email!'

Told him i ready told the client that but that the client wanted to talk to him instead.

'sure, connect him through and then come back so you can hear him after i ask him to mail us!'

Connected him through. Client explained the situation.

Then he says with the sweetest voice and a 'get rekt' face: 'could you send me an email about that? 😊'

Let's just say that the client sounded everything but happy xD

Today my classmate came up to me and said he was a hacker.

I told him to prove it, and guess what? HE ACTUALLY HACKED GOOGLE!

It was amazing! He impressed so many kids in the class with his skills of pressing F12! How impressive is that?

He even wore a black hoodie and can spell his name in binary code. Not to mention, he changed google doc's page color to black and the font to green as he typed his essay.

I need to be careful... This 1337 h4x0r is really scary.

83w4r3

Submitting my homework in LaTex makes me want to print it out and hang it on the wall because it is so beautiful.

Thanks for the info

I'm leaving my job.

That had already been decided when I learned that the only other front end guy at the company put in his two weeks notice. I immediately decided that I was morally obligated to put in my 4 months notice to give the company enough time to find a replacement (because, contrary to the beliefs of some programmers, front end plays a critical role in web dev).

With only 2 weeks left, I was put on his project to do some "simple design work".

Jesus christ in heaven alive and dead...

I've never in my career seen CSS with such an intense level of specificity -- nobody on that team should have ever let that code get so out of control.

I've spent the past week cursing, walking out of the room, whispering "I can't believe you've done this", ranting to non-developer friends.

Here's an example: the application has a panel used all over the place with a header and a body. Every Single View has it's own duplicated panel, each with its own unique class names and CSS. And that's just one element.

Every view has hundreds of lines of duplicated CSS. Every button, link, list, all with unique styles.

To any junior developer reading this, please hear me: Write one block of CSS for any element that will be reused. DO NOT duplicate your code when it can be used over and over.

/rant

A REAL Ducky for REAL Problems...