;____;

I’ve just seen the most horrific thing on the planet
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My code from a month ago...

Yay for scrollbars!
😑

Building products for a government department? Here's free advice: don't.

😣

"Using HTTPS is only useful if your page has a login. Just use HTTP."

Use eclipse, it's a good ide

I've written a lot of bad code, seen a lot, but attached is the most recent 'worst' I've seen.
What makes the situation worse/funny is:
1. The developer's code comment.
2. Check-in passed a code review.
3. The 'legacy code' was written last week.

Array Indexing

My conversation with my wife today, while I was at work:

Wife: The wifi isn't working.
Me: What's it doing?
W: Not working
Me: Try turning it off an on again.
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Me: Is your phone on LTE? Or is it connected to wifi and the internet isn't working?
W: LTE. Aubrey (my wife's sister) said she turned it off and nothing happened.
Me: did she turn it back on?
W: Do you really want me to answer that?
Me: Just making sure. What lights are on on the router?
W: (Sends me a picture of the router with no lights on)
Me:...
W: Oh it isn't even plugged in
Me:...
W (after a couple minutes): Its working now!

YES I REALLY WANT YOU TO ANSWER IF YOU TURNED IT BACK ON!

Exactly

Installing Nvidia drivers in Arch linux right now. Tell my family I love them.

My mom walks in and asks what am I doing and I said hacking government files and she called the police thanks mom😑

Well... Yeah... that can be a way of doing it. But really?

An ability to port all Windows games to Linux without performance loss due to bad ports and bad drivers so I won't have to dual boot anymore.

!rant, Congratulations

Ctrl + Z in real life.

The ability to slap people through tcp/ip.

This is what our university recommends as reading material for databases. I'm still in denial that this exists.

Its time to learn kotlin. Whos with me!?

may be

How to check if a number is negative.

Heard a conversation between my colleague and the boss

Boss: (saw my colleague's messy desk) hey, could you organize your desk? It's not nice to see when clients come in. You know what they say, messy desk represents a messy brain..

Colleague: (glanced over to the boss' empty desk) and what does an empty desk say for the brain?

Her: you're a coder right?
Me: I prefer programmer, yeah why?
Her: I accidentally switched my phone to another language and I...

/(ò.ó)┛彡┻━┻

Oh my god...

https://github.com/asweigart/...

Debugger for rust? Call it wd40.

Oops!

My coworker

When you walk in the room for your interview and you see a whiteboard on the wall

CSS - keep guessing the values until it looks fine.

Got this from a recruiter:

We are looking for a **Senior Android Developer/Lead** at Philadelphia PA

Hiring Mode: Contract

Must have skills:

· 10-12 years mobile experience in developing Android applications
· Solid understanding of Android SDK on frameworks such as: UIKit, CoreData, CoreFoundation, Network Programming, etc.
· Good Knowledge on REST Ful API and JSON Parsing
· Good knowledge on multi-threaded environment and grand central dispatch
· Advanced object-oriented programming and knowledge of design patterns
· Ability to write clean, well-documented, object-oriented code
· Ability to work independently
· Experience with Agile Driven Development
· Up to date with the latest mobile technology and development trends
· Passion for software development- embracing every challenge with a drive to solve it
· Engaging communication skills

My response:

I am terribly sorry but I am completely not interested in working for anyone who might think that this is a job description for an Android engineer.

1. Android was released in September 2008 so finding anyone with 10 years experience now would have to be a Google engineer.
2. UIKit, CoreData, CoreFoundation are all iOS frameworks
3. Grand Central Dispatch is an iOS mechanism for multithreading and is not in Android
4. There are JSON parsing frameworks, no one does that by hand anymore

Please delete me from your emailing list.