Talking to my son today about one of his CS classes, not sure which.

He says: "I missed the lecture yesterday, but I'm not going to bother re-watching it."

Me: "Why? You really should. You're paying for these classes AND you really need to actually learn this stuff."

Son: "Well, because I got 100% on my last assignment without going to class. I just Google'd everything and figured it out on my own from what I found."

My wife out of the blue: "DAMN IT, BUT THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS IN THE REAL WORK WORLD!"

Oh, you poor, uninformed summer child. I love her, but she just doesn't know that my son has already learned the key lesson he needed to learn from his schooling in order to get a job and make good money in this field! #ProudTechieDadMoments

i started using reddit i few days ago

!r/ProgrammerHumor

"Google does it". I hate that sentence. It's always the beginning of an unreasonable expectation.

Perhaps if we had as much devs as Google we could do it too. But we are 2 devs spread over 15 projects, so fuck off.

new rule in company

No headphones while coding

job hunting start......

Our team just got the best email from our client hahaha

Dear Chrome/firefox developers,

If someone presses the back button after they click on a link it means don't load that page and not go back to previous page.

The beginning of my freelancing time. I was so naive. Didn't even used contracts...

This one client wanted a website with 2 specific features until a certain time. It should look nice, but only the features functionality was defined. All seemed reasonable at first.

I delivered 2 weeks before the deadline. The client was furious, as it didn't look like they imagined. They wrote me 8 lengthy emails with very fractioned feedback. It was becoming unreasonable.

But hey, I'm a newbie in this business. I have to make myself a name, I thought.
Oh was I naive....

This whole project went on for 2 more months. The client was unhappy with every change and 2-5 emails a day with new demands were coming in. I was changing things they wanted done 2 days ago, because they changed their mind.

Then they started to get personal. They were insulting me and even my family. My self-confidence dropped to an all-time low.

In the end I just sent them all the code for free and went to therapy.

BTW: this was also my most important experience, as things went up hill from then on. As Yoda once said: The greatest teacher, failure is.

Fucking Redux..

:^)
For real though, to each their own in the end.
I accept MacOS for development, but Apple hardware is just price gouging.

He's got a valid point

I walked down a street where the houses were numbered 64K, 128K, 256K, 512K and 1MB

That was a trip down the memory lane

Well okay..

How it usually goes:
1. Have an idea
2. Do about 3 of those things:
- sketch out a few diagramms of how it would work
- think of a name and buy the url
- estimate what you would have to buy and what it would cost
- make a project folder
- lean back, imagine life after the idea made you rich and famous
- write about 2% of the required code
3. Get distracted or don't have time to work on thr idea
4. Have new idea, repeat from 1

Boss: “Do you think you can work on Saturday? We really need the help.”

Me: “Yes, of course.”

Boss: “Great, thank you.”

Me: “I’ll probably be late, though, as public transport is slow on the weekends.”

Boss: “Okay, when do you think you will be at the office?”

Me: “Monday”.

Fuck you java for forcing me to catch an exception which will never occur -.-

Got hired by a company. Their iOS application was shit and client was breathing down their neck. Basically got their application up to scratch. Now everything is stable and client is happy. And I get laid off + They owe me two months of pay. All I get from them are excuses. What is the lesson here?

JavaScript is like Voldemort. It can do great things. Terrible things! But great!

Hacking is like sex. You get in, you get out, and hope that you didn’t leave something that can be traced back to you.

Watched so many tutorials recently, my inner English voice started having an Indian accent!

Well played, Google assistant! well played!

suddenly while you introduce yourself to everyone..

Difference between C# and Javascript
Me: Hold my cup of tea.
C#: That's not a cup of tea.
Me: Hold my cup of tea, with two teaspoons of sugar in it.
C#: That's not a cup of tea with two tea spoons of sugar in it.
Me: Hold my cup of tea, with two teaspoons of sugar and milk in it.
C#: That is not a cup of tea, with two teaspoons of sugar and milk it.
...
Me: Hold my cup of tea.
Javascript: I'll hold your cup of coffee.

Teacher : use"ransomware" in a sentence
Student : I used to know a girl, but then she ransomware
Whole class :

What does dfox say ?

DEV, DEV, DEV, DEV ,DEV, DEV
RANT, RANT, RANT, RANT, RANT

Put headphones on when I got to work at 7:30am.. it's 3:10pm and I just realised I never started playing music 😑

My girlfriend saw me coding in XCode.
GF: What are you doing?
Me: Ahmm. Coding.
GF: *saw the colors in every line of code
GF: That's easy. You just need to follow the color pattern. Green, Blue, Red and Yellow.
Me:
Macbook:
XCode:
Charger:

BTW. She's a Preschool Teacher. Hahahaha

How to make sure your users appreciate your work

I have been getting a lot of angry glances in meetings since my latest laptop sticker :D

brb dying

Nightmare for web developers -
What if mobile browsers can be resizable ! 😨😨