IF LIVES DEPEND ON A SYSTEM

1. Code review, collaboration, and knowledge sharing (each hour of code review saves 33 hours of maintenance)

2. TDD (40% — 80% reduction in production bug density)

3. Daily continuous integration (large code merges are a major source of bugs)

4. Minimize developer interruptions (an interrupted task takes twice as long and contains twice as many defects)

5. Linting (catches many typo and undefined variable bugs that static types could catch, as well as a host of stylistic issues that correlate with bug creation, such as accidentally assigning when you meant to compare)

6. Reduce complexity & improve modularity  -- complex code is harder to understand, test, and maintain

-Eric Elliott

73 notifications from @Jase you woke me up dude lol

#include <rant>

So, in my class I have this one dude who also code, "Awesome" I thought when I first saw that he codes, he codes in c# and claims to know JavaScript.

So I hung out with him a bit on recess/break time, and I eventually found out that he is a d*ckhead

First of all, he claims that he can code ANYTHING, I mean triple A games, the machine that can find pi in 10 seconds. And I know that this isn't true, because he "can't bother" with showing me it.. whatever I think.

I also mentioned that he is a d*ck, why am i saying that? Because if you make an error he would just go, "there is supposed to be *insert random bullshit here* instead of *a typo that I made*, retard. You are honestly fucking stupid" Listen, I love when people point errors out, it really helps. But when you say it like that, it honestly makes me sad. One day, I was messing around with classes in python and he went "hey idiot! That's wrong! There is supposed to be a *random word* instead of *working code*". The funny thing is, HE DOESNT KNOW WHAT PYTHON IS. So I comment out the working code and puts in his c# bs there instead. And he just says, "it isn't working because there's a private class instead of a public class. Ehmm, excuse me? This is python, ok.

Oh and he told me I was a retard because I can't develop triple a games using pure JavaScript.

Any tips on dealing with the guy?

I really want 2017 to be a great year...
One thing I do is have a movie marathon ... Last few years I did the Hobbit movies ...

I can't think what to do to start of this year 🤔

I'm already building this site ... For new year's day but I dunno what to watch to get me in the spirit , any suggestions ?

Ranting about the guy on DevRant.
Business Guy asks me what app I'm using.
Open Midget Porn instead.

If he found out, I'm fucked.

Believe it or not, this community has helped me overcome my impostor syndrome.

It's such an enormous relief whenever I open the app and read the rants, and I can actually relate to or understand many of them. It restores not only my confidence in my knowledge and skills, but also my motivation to learn and grow. It gives me strength to push forward instead of giving up on this path.

Thank you DevRant, rant on you awesome fuckers! :)

True that !!

Me: Hey man, this code looks horrible, let's move this to a function.
Co worker: don't worry, we will make it better later
Me (thinking): yeah for sure...

I can't wait to learn a new flavour of JS so I can be completely irrelevant in two weeks again

When you're trying to clean your keyboard with a vacuum and the F10 key went missing...

WTF!! Internet Explorer! 😂😂

This morning, a client called the office in anger because something wasn't working. The programmer who picked up the phone kindly tried to explain that he wasn't in charge and couldn't do anything at that moment. A few hours later, the client called back apologizing to that developer! We were all sitting there like 'wft just happened'

Holy shit! How come nobody told me I can long press an image on devRant to save it?!? I've been taking screenshot of images I like this whole time..

Demo's

When you show your debian linux laptop to your potential customer while saying 'it is as comfortable as working with your other os' , you open up the laptop lid.. And it freezes.

The one time you do not want it to freeze, it freezes

I AM SO FUCKING TIRED OF BUSINESS MOTHERFUCKERS USING TECHNICAL FUCKING BUZZWORDS LIKE THEY KNOW SHIT ABOUT TECH! THEY TRY TO BE FUCKING SMARTASSES AND ARGUE WITH DEVELOPERS LIKE GOD KNOWS WHY THIS FUCKING DOUCHE IS NOT THROWN IN /dev/null YET!

Ugh. He try to sound smart and argued with a unity game developer why the dev is not using "react" and "redux" in his game, purely because "since its the hype in 2016"... I was like really nigga?? FOR FUCKS SAKE Do some research before you say! Then he argued with a senior full-stack web developer on why they're using ES6 and not ES7, purely because he heard that ES7 is newer. When we try to explain we're not using decorator syntaxes since we use pure functions in our codebase, or how we haven't installed any ES7 babel plugins to transpile our code, he kept saying ES7 is newer and cooler and we must use it somehow... More to rant but i am fucking tired right now...

You know you've made it when you can quickly catch programming crap in other website images.

This site promoted "Top 10 things that make you a good programmer."

This mother fucker right here.

Today I was asked as a favor by one of our vendors to assist one of their other customers with an API integration issue. We work very closely with this vendor and help beta their products etc.

I'm helping as a favor. And this guy could not be more of a dick. Constantly throwing his 20ys of experience at me and saying the API is broken. A good portion of my job is API integration so I've seen 30+ platforms all done differently and this one in question is by far the simplest.

Where does this chodemuffin get off being a dick to me? You know what buddy. Eat a dick. Figure it out yourself.

Rubber duck is cool, but Pusheen is better!

Our employee management system, for some reason, stored Testlists (I work in QA) linked to the user accounts that created them. Now after an colleague who worked there for five years left pretty much all our data was suddenly down the drain and nobody backed the fricking server up because, hey, whats the fun in that. Now all the tests need to be rewritten and other than the whole gui test automation of our product, maintenance of the same for another product, manually testing dev issues and training my new code monkeys to frickin not commit non working code to the trunk I have now also "Make a better Employee management system" (roughly translated those are the specs I've got) on my plate... I can remember back to the care free days of just before my boss asked me if I wanted to try to automate some of the test cases... How did I ever survive this paralyzing tranquility. Ha, surprise.
!rant, I fucking love the stress and juggling a shit ton of problems at the same time keeps ine on edge.

The thing about bats

Just bought my first physical server for a cheap price second hand. It's a low end thing but hey, you've got to start somewhere, right!

Process forking, signal handling, socket communication and race conditions. If I smoked I would have gone through a carton today.

!rant

I work from home. Sometimes, my husband remotes into his computer during the day. When I see it, I message him jokingly that someone is "hacking his computer". Then this happens:

What does a local variable say to a global variable in Javascript?

Anxiety is waiting for an answer on stack overflow.

I see everyone is showing off rubber ducks. Now I wonder if my pokemon can do the same trick?

So, there was an Internship and Recruitment training seminar held in my college yesterday, by a firm that's very well known apparently. Some wonderful new things that we learned:

*There are 4 types of loops, not 2. (Okay, maybe on a technicality, but still not conventionally)

*You aren't asked to write code when interviewing for a programming job. (Well, what?)

*A rolling stone has no mass. (Probably the worst mutated proverb I've ever heard)

I'm not going to sign up for this program.

That guy who always spells your name wrong in emails. Fuck you!

I found a cooler master atx with built in power for like half the price of a cm atx and a cm power supply yay

I was at the movies today. The subtitles didn't italicize as they expected.