List of things that my fucking corporate proxy blocks

* Maven
* The NPM registry
* Github

List of things that aren't blocked

* Google drive
* Twitter
* Porn

Half my mobile data is burned away by NPM sinkholes. Fuck this place.

I just remembered the first time I set up a Linux-Server. It was a simple Apache webserver at my first internship anf I didnt have a clue about literally anything.

My mentor guided me through and gave me literal step-by-step instructions (alright, now type... and now type...).

At the end he told me "OK, now run 'sudo rm -rf /*' to finish setting up". Me, being the naive and clueless motherfucker I am, happily nuked the everloving shit out of my newly setup server. I was like "Alright, WTF just happened??" He then told me "Now that you know how it works, do the entire thing again all by yourself. And you just learned an important lesson: NEVER exexute commands you dont know what theyre doing". I really did learn a lot on that day and still follow that lesson :D

imagine a job where you have to work

To all the programmers calling “ToString()” on variables that are already of type String....

Please stop.

So... This company was in trouble. They hire me to help fix things and build this nice new stack to get rid of their old legacy monster application.

I'm there for three weeks when one of their top investors storms in. Apparently they are turning less profit than they told me during my interview. (Yeah, it is one of the things I always ask, even thought I don't always get an answer).

So this investor/shareholder guy starts on this motivation speech which is basically a veiled threat that "we" need to do better.

Obviously he doesn't know anyone in the room other than the boss. And it was apparent, at least to me, he also has 0% knowledge of anything related to software development. The boss doesn't look to happy about having to let this happen.

Then the guy turns to me. He points his finger at me and demands to know how failing so badly makes me feel...

So I answered truthfully... "I've only been here for three weeks, so I don't think I've been failing too much, yet. Now, how long did you say you've been throwing money at this failure without getting the return you wanted?" Emphasizing the "you" by pointing right back at him.

That doesn't shut the guy up, but he does bring his "motivational" speech to a rapid close.

He doesn't bother saying goodbye when he stormed out again, not even to the boss, who looks a lot happier at this point.

Apparently the guy pulled this stunt every couple of months (or weeks, if he was bored enough). After this encounter, he apparently had enough of trying to "motivate" us developers. We I didn't see him again in the 2 years I worked with the company after that.

I got a pay raise the month after. Apparently that was totally unrelated to this incident... 😙🎵

First wikipedia asks me donation. Then tells me facts 98% Indians do not donate. And when I try to donate, it doesn't let me donate without PAN. I am a student.

😂😂😂😂

Today someone took a shit and didn't flush...

Normally you have your typical candidates, who are pissing standing in the stalls although there are free urinals, people who don't wash their hands after pissing or just splash like 3 fingers with water. Even not washing hands after taking a dump, which is pretty disgusting... But today? Some dude in the stall next to me took a shit, wiped his butt... and went away... No flushing no washing hands... Wtf is wrong with people?

Remember guys:

You can fix bugs.
You can’t fix users.

For some project, I wrote this algoritem in Java to parse a lot of XML files and save data to database. It needs to have some tricks and optimisations to run in acceptable time. I did it and in average, it run for 8-10 minutes.

After I left company they got new guy. And he didn't know Java so they switched to PHP and rewrote the whole project. He did algorithm his way. After rewrite it run around 8 hours.

I was really proud of myself and shocked they consider it acceptable.

💻 Happy Monday mother fuckers

* This post was sponsored by the "gone on holiday" gang

Company is celebrating new awards. Whole dev team basically says fuck you we have better things todo and isn’t attending for champagne.

Archlinux.org went down just now for probably not only me. Guess who was in the middle of setting up his system again

Someone I don't think knows how to use Google adsense properly yet

Back to devRant after a long break.
*************************************

Neither made the world a better place like Sillicon Valley,
Nor was busy fighting monsters like Witcher,
For the Kings and Queens who make more,
Whom the clients keep throwing Gold,
Was stuck in a project like soldiers in GOT,
Following JIRAs for my honor.

A company on my LinkedIn is looking for a Jedi programmer to hire again... I guess their first Jedi didn't fair so well.

It was for a job interview, I wouldn't specify what the challenge is but they said I could use any language I want; I chose Python. They said I failed the coding interview because it was not Java.

"Whether you think you can or whether you think you can’t – you are right." - Henry Ford

Python would say:

"You do not simply write the pseudocode. I am the pseudocode."

😂😂😂😂😂

Mozilla has announced that it's rolling out changes under the California Consumer Privacy Act (CCPA) to all Firefox users worldwide.

According to report of ZDNet: The CCPA (America's privacy legislation) came into effect on January 1, 2020, offering Californian users data-protection rules. Much like Europe's GDPR, the CCPA gives consumers the right to know what personal information is collected about them and to be able to access it. While the law technically only applies to data processed about residents in California, US. But Mozilla notes it was one of the few companies to endorse CCPA from the outset. Mozilla has now outlined the key change it's made to Firefox, which will ensure CCPA regulations benefit all its users worldwide. The main change it's introducing is allowing users to request that Mozilla deletes Firefox telemetry data stored on its servers. That data doesn't include web history, which Mozilla doesn't collect anyway, but it does include data about how many tabs were opened and browser session lengths. The new control will ship in the next version of Firefox on January 7, which will include a feature to request desktop telemetry data be deleted directly from the browser.

Someone paid me almost 200 usd to solve a visual basic assignment made of 13 small questions like palindrome checking, finding max,...

i feel i stole the girls money but i also feel i wish i can do this full time

Python 2, officially dead!!😰

When you're not ready yet for 2020

not sure if counts as a compliment, but the follwing exchange with my team lead programmer felt pretty good:

"... wait, where did you find this function you're using here?"

"i didn't, it was missing so i wrote it."

"but... oh, i didn't realize you're gonna need it, if i had, i'd have given you a different task... noooo, that's internal framework functionality, i write that stuff for you guys so that you can just use it, cause it's complicated... oh, god, no, where did you put, how did you imple... (right clicks, go to definiton)... oh, it's exactly where it's supposed to be... (skims the code)... and is written exactly as if i had written it.
(looks at me and smiles, then turns to the rest of the team), guys, that component i told you to wait with making because i first need to write that complicated utility function that you'll need to use? you can start working on it now, Midnight wrote that function for me. (turns back to me) Nice, quick learner. But next time, at least let me know first, yeah?"

(that was third day in a new job, corporate-sized system. the rest of the team had been working there on that system for the past 2 years.

(probably not a good form, kinda going over team lead's head, but tbh i didn't realize i'm not supposed to touch that code because "it's complicated", while doing my task i just realized i need a function similar to a family of already implemented ones, so i just followed their convention amd added it.)

tl;dr - best programming compliment is people being surprised/confused that i did something which they thought as a normal thing that they will have to do for me, because it's in their job description to be doing it for people on my position/with my job description)

I don't hate you today.

Just finished 60x60 Minesweeper that allows continue after hitting a mine.

33/750 mines triggered and 1hr+ gone....

I should have better things to do with my time but...

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Went to a "Javascript Cafe" wearing async t-shirt..

They put me last on the events queue :(

*Website exists*

Client: “I should be rich by now. Please fix.”

Me: “... Did you do any ... marketing?”

Client: “I don’t have money for marketing. That’s what the website is for.”

"Whenever I see a door that says push I pull first to prevent conflicts"