The real story: How the Apple was damaged.

Every single time

A scammer called me today. They were saying that harmful files were moved to my computer and they needed to remove them. I don't think they are ever going to call me again.

S = scammer; M = me;

S: this is tech support we need access to your computer because we detected harmful files and need to remove them.
M: oh my! Hold on, let me go to my computer now. How can you access it?
S: we can just use RDP and delete the files. They are in a hidden folder that is encrypted so this Is the only way.
M: oh ok I believe you. Hm... it looks like my son only allows certain IP addresses to access our computers.. I don't know how to disable this so can you just email me your IP address?
S: Sure...

He then sends me his actual IP address... it doesn't even look like a proxy or VPN.

M: oh my I forgot that you need my password to login. It's really long and complicated... can I just email it to you?
S: Sure!!

I then tell him to hold on I have to find it that my "son" stored it somewhere.

At this time I'm taking a photo of my bare ass and attaching it to the email. I then say in the email "Please note what my job title is in my signature.. I just sent the FBI your name, phone number, email, and IP address. Please enjoy my bare ass, you'll see a lot of it in prison."

(overheard parents talking)

Mum: I'm worried about our son, I guess he was hacking today
Dad: What? [Chuckle] No. He's not that grown up enough. Prolly programming.
Mum: But, the screen was all blue and there was nothing but text on it. And then suddenly it went blank. So, I asked him what he was doing and he said it was a BSOD. That sounds scary NSA level stuff.
Dad: it isn't [came out of the room, saw me there]

(And we laughed and laughed and laughed)

Dear imposter syndrome. Please go the fuck away.

I just fixed a bug with the ticketname "Sometimes, There is a strange behaviour when opening the app on some devices"
Feeling heroic now

When I try to be happy but my phone knows my feelings.

In my case it is true ☺

The final defense system. 😒

She said yes!!!

Stress ball arrived, cant find it.

me_irl

When I'm at work, can't wait to go home and work on my personal projects.
When I'm home I cook, I eat then I'm too tired to do anything except watching Netflix on the couch.
Then I go to bed frustrated for not having actually done anything I really like.
Am I the only one?
Is there any escape from this?

Never lose your AirPods again.

Cursing under your breath at some crufty, amateurish, slow-as-balls code... Checking the repo history to see what sad, soulless sack committed this abomination.. And its me.

Fuck Java haters.

That is all.

A bug a day keeps ego away.

2016 Critics Choice Award - Best Comedy Series - Silicon Valley! Nice!

All these developers complaining about not being able to finish the million side projects they have and I'm sitting here wishing I was creative enough to have one.

A message to every customers

Error! Factory produced more than one instance of Singleton!

Member patch Tuesday? Member automatic scheduled reboots? Yeah, I member!

Teaching 7-8 year olds the basics of web design. We're we're playing with CSS and changing colours of block elements and text. One girl put up her hand, completely confused as to why it wasn't working. Her code:

Section {
Background-color: rainbow;
}

Oh the wonderful mind of children

MFW broken stuff automagically worked.

!rant: Wondering how the hell you even graduated.

Manager: "yeah so thanks for understanding we can't give you a payrise, by the way we need you to train the new guy we just hired who is your senior because even though he is more experienced than you as a c# dev he doesn't understand what an object is"

Me...

Oracle. Enough said.

Ha ha ha ha 😂😂😂😜😜😜

I accidentally sent my bachelor thesis to the 3D-printer. It printed a big peace of shit.

Will there be someday a messenger on DevRant? I think it can be good to continue some discussion in private and get to know each other.