To the housemate that wondered into the kitchen at 4am and turned the oven off at the perfect time for the chicken I'd forgotten about, thank you.

Signed,
Person eating not-burnt chicken

Isn’t it funny how you don’t know how to do web, yet your code looks like a user agent string?

Our ex-employee wrote an amazing SQL SELECT-query consisting of 6449 characters. It has 11 JOINS and takes a solid minute to execute.

The table it fetches from has 16 records and the SQL query returns 46857 records and it was production code lmao

TIL json can't encode NaN or +/-inf. wtf!?...

The year is 2057. One IPv4 address costs 1 BTC.

https://wtfhappenedin1971.com

IS YOUR SPIRIT IN THE RIGHT PLACE?!

I feel kind of bad that my cicd workflow sees that message about "{n} packages are looking for funding, run `npm fund` for details" hundreds of times and completely ignores it.

Should I have it run npm fund occasionally just to be nice?

Pro tip: make your tool’s error messages very long, so feeding them into ChatGPT is not financially viable. Then, sell support for your tool.

Spent another 20 minutes blaming my tools when the issue was my fault again. Just wanted to let you friendly folks know.

(Forgot a “CREATE DATABASE IF NOT EXISTS” statement because on my other dev box, that database……. Already exists)

Enter BIOS menu
See the option called something like “ionic capacitor discombobulation”
Click “help” near the option to learn what the hell that is
“Enables or disables ionic capacitor discombobulation”
ffs

Seems there is a blackout in the entire country. This is fine!

"Sir, your card got declined"

"First of all, lower your voice"

I had the weirdest job interview in the world. A job that wasn't even considering due to lower compensation than what I am making.

Throughout my career I saw three types of interviews (some times I have 1 & 2, 1&3 or just 2 or just 3 or fail early in 1):

1. HR textbook style: your 3 biggest weaknesses, what would your coworkers describe (I fail most of the time here)

2. People coming to prove a point to you (what happened to me today): Somebody with a clear intention to prove you are stupid and/or lying.. You are guilty until proven innocent style of interaction. They will find one little thing that you read about 15 years ago and zoom in it enough (it takes a 1min read to go over that again) and to them you are stupid and that's it. Generally insecure people do that

3. Tech oriented hiring people: it always goes well even if I don't get hired. Where they focus on the skills that take years to master rather than zooming on something you studied 15 years ago and totally forgot.

The hiring person was in tech presumably for 20 years but I saw 0 important stuff in his github. (I can name and shame if it's allowed here)

Never skip leg day.

How certain can we be, that AI Code Assistants or the companies behind them are "stealing" our proprietary code?

dont recall doing or changing anything to local java 11 install

it's apparently corrupt, i don't see it on my file system either and dont wanna search for it

old existing repositories in intellij don't care and still have syntax highlighting

new repo i downloaded got caught by problem though

3 week ago, I made a post sharing that we got a new marketing guy and my colleague and I have a bet going on if he will last 6 months or not.

He is already fired.

Viking!

So... Android will have a full debian terminal ... Neat 😏

The shortest rant ever that doesn't need any explanation: XCODE

Not an ad, I swear

AI Pro is now part of the Jetbrains All Products Pack I've been subscribed to since I started my current job 11 years ago.

Although I haven't found tremendous value in AI for coding, it gets a B or B+ for serving the right documentation without having to trudge through Google to find it. And to ignore it would be foolish, so I'm at least going to be acquainted with it.

Something like 50 of my sweet, sweet plusplus just went poof, gone. Vanished, gone with the wind.

Could be a bunch of salty downvotes, no doubt a limpdick way to try and protest my immaculate logic? That is indeed a possibility. But the most likely explanation is someone nuked himself.

And you know what? Shit, man.
This is giving me flashbacks to when rutee left devRant and I hate it.

btw rutee, Mr Johnny Sins, your location literally inside me: in case you ever read this, I just want to say, you is the kewlest; no contest. Everyone else get fucked. I'm sorry, but you're not rutee. Nothing compares2u or some forbidden bromance shit sang by a bald woman, all night up the ass.

Anyway, where was I?
Ah, yeah. People-check.

So who deleted himself? I'm not seeing anyone missing. The whole gang is here. I think. I mean even ostream's shadowclones are still around.

Hmm. Maybe I did get downvoted?
Or maybe it was just a bunch of rants getting deleted, rather than a full-on nuke?

Huh. Indubitably, this is a case for Willy Tanner.
*REACHES FOR THE CRACKPIPE.*

Tell me something you would say in 2065

I switched to ubuntu!

A kid just called me uncle, and my whole life flashed before my eyes

Fucking Bureaucracy

I hate zoomers so much

so here’s the tea.

i’m a Chinese dev working in a Japanese company. they’ve got this decently sized project a full web app and backend stack and yeah, I’m handling both ends. full-stack life. not a problem. I’ve seen worse.

but the maturity level in this place? the passive-aggressiveness? is different level. have you ever worked somewhere where your coworkers act all sweet on the surface, but lowkey make it feel like everything is your fault in the most obvious way possible?

so here comes the fun part.

the Stripe exchange rate endpoint we were using? deprecated. not globally — just regionally in Japan.

i did my homework. contacted Stripe support. got the chats, screenshots, docs, confirmations, evidence, not .........vibes.

solution? easy. i integrated a third-party API that returns the same exchange rate data. built a cron job to pull and cache the values daily. stored it locally. frontend grabs the user’s currency via IP, backend returns the rate, no stress, no wasted API calls. boom. problem solved.

my manager? totally got it. said it was efficient.
but the founder? man acted like a toddler.

he flipped. said it was my fault.
told me i just "no communicate well...uh...very confuse..." like bro… what even? do I look like I own stripe or do I look like I secretly working for them? plus, i explain in full, still not understand.

he got heated in meeting, so I clapped back in the meeting: you want to argue all day and get nothing done? or you want to understand what’s going on, and let me go back to building stuff that actually works? pick one.

he didn’t like that.
pretty sure he’s shopping for my replacement now. well, doesn’t take a genius to see it.

but I’m not here to babysit egos. I’ll do my job clean, document everything, and keep it professional. meanwhile yeah, I’ve already started looking for something else.

I hate what AI has done to developers, man.

I was discussing something a couple of days ago while my colleague was sharing his screen. He (Android/Flutter developer asked for my help for something custom in the iOS build) And while we were discussing it, he went to ChatGPT.

He wrote a bad prompt using wrong terms (for example how tabbar in ios is a different thing than android), i told him he was wrong and what the solution is, he didn't listen and went to try out what the AI said, made a bunch of errors, the proceeded to copy the errors to chatgpt wasting so much time.

AI to some developers is like tiktok to kids.